Abused 13 year old, how can I help him??

[Silverplum]

You've contacted CPS. That's what you can do.

Disagreeing with another parent's method of discipline is not actionable.

I understand what you are saying and that view is helpful. I do want to point of that I do agree with corporal punishment in the proper circumstances, but never in excess and never done when a parent is angry because it will often lead to excess. I also want to say that spanking or even beating isn't intended to inflict VISUAL MARKING, only PAIN. One does not spank their child to see a hand print on their ass, it is done to make them feel pain and not want to do the bad thing again because they don't want the pain.

Beating, as in beating. Not being spanked.

I'm sorry if people think I'm trying to pump up the situation with exaggeration but I truly am not.
I am looking out for the safety of this child, even if he is removed from his parents and is moved into a home with one of his four older brothers who left this same group because of the same reasons.

You called CPS. That's what you can do. Period.

 

[hjsip]

You are injecting hyperbole in to this...

What are you referring to? Just telling me would be helpful so I can possibly have a clearer understanding of what you mean.

 

[hjsip]

You've contacted CPS. That's what you can do.

Disagreeing with another parent's method of discipline is not actionable.



You called CPS. That's what you can do. Period.

Alright, I understand. Thank you.

 

[Zigner]

What are you referring to? Just telling me would be helpful so I can possibly have a clearer understanding of what you mean.

The word "beating" is hyperbole.

 

[hjsip]

The word "beating" is hyperbole.

The word beating is not an exaggeration though. That's what people are not seeming to understand.
Spanking a child as punishment is done when the parent has gotten over their anger and is done to inflict a reasonable amount of pain to warn the child to not repeat the wrong thing they did.
Beating a child is done when the parent is angry still and becomes excessive and is done repeatedly, hitting over and over again.

 

[Zigner]

The word beating is not an exaggeration though. That's what people are not seeming to understand.
Spanking a child as punishment is done when the parent has gotten over their anger and is done to inflict a reasonable amount of pain to warn the child to not repeat the wrong thing they did.
Beating a child is done when the parent is angry still and becomes excessive and is done repeatedly, hitting over and over again.

Yet...the child was not injured.

What you are doing is injecting your opinion in to the mix.

 

[Silverplum]

The word beating is not an exaggeration though. That's what people are not seeming to understand.
Spanking a child as punishment is done when the parent has gotten over their anger and is done to inflict a reasonable amount of pain to warn the child to not repeat the wrong thing they did.
Beating a child is done when the parent is angry still and becomes excessive and is done repeatedly, hitting over and over again.

You are stating as fact what you do not know to be fact.

 

[Proserpina]

You are stating as fact what you do not know to be fact.

And that's really the bottom line.

OP was not present and does not actually know what happens/happened. OP can speculate until the world ends sometime in December. But it doesn't change the bottom line.

 

[hjsip]

You are stating as fact what you do not know to be fact.

Spanking defined is to strike, especially on the buttocks, with the open hand.
Beating defined is to hit repeatedly so as to inflict pain; to strike directly against forcefully and repeatedly.

The part about the anger was not part of either definition so I retract that. It only seemed logical when I read it and have been told from others before. However, black and white, definition will win over word of mouth. I respect what you said.

And that's really the bottom line.

OP was not present and does not actually know what happens/happened. OP can speculate until the world ends sometime in December. But it doesn't change the bottom line.

I respect what you said as well. I think I stated before, I know of many people who were a part of this group who have left because the elders beat people into submission, until they agree that they are in the wrong, regardless of who is right or wrong. But I know that that will not prove anything in regards to this boy or help this boy to be removed from the situation.

Again I respect that you think I may be puffing up the matter and don't want anything stupid to happen, but I will still be leaving my home open for him if he removes himself again. If this happens, I will check for any possible markings he may have received and take whatever further actions I am able to take.

 

[Zigner]

If you're looking for definitions, I would recommend that you head on over to your state's web site and track them down in the law(s). You may find that your opinion of what is or is not appropriate corporal punishment is not quite in line with what the LAW says.

 

[hjsip]

If you're looking for definitions, I would recommend that you head on over to your state's web site and track them down in the law(s). You may find that your opinion of what is or is not appropriate corporal punishment is not quite in line with what the LAW says.

I will continue to look into all of this. Thank you.

 

[Proserpina]

Spanking defined is to strike, especially on the buttocks, with the open hand.
Beating defined is to hit repeatedly so as to inflict pain; to strike directly against forcefully and repeatedly.

The part about the anger was not part of either definition so I retract that. It only seemed logical when I read it and have been told from others before. However, black and white, definition will win over word of mouth. I respect what you said.


I respect what you said as well. I think I stated before, I know of many people who were a part of this group who have left because the elders beat people into submission, until they agree that they are in the wrong, regardless of who is right or wrong. But I know that that will not prove anything in regards to this boy or help this boy to be removed from the situation.

Again I respect that you think I may be puffing up the matter and don't want anything stupid to happen, but I will still be leaving my home open for him if he removes himself again. If this happens, I will check for any possible markings he may have received and take whatever further actions I am able to take.

You do realize that you have absolutely no right to inspect this child's body, don't you?

 

[xylene]

Cults and extreme religious practices that are not legally defensible do exist.

That said, OP, I think you need to back off of your of Jesus complex on this.

Keep after the authorities, and see about getting a lawyer.

Do something constructive instead of something that could sabotage this young person.

 

[Proserpina]

Cults and extreme religious practices that are not legally defensible do exist.

This is absolutely 10000% true. It's often frightening, too, when the truth comes out.

That said, OP, I think you need to back off of your of Jesus complex on this.

Keep after the authorities, and see about getting a lawyer.

Do something constructive instead of something that could sabotage this young person.

Agreed.

 

[hjsip]

You do realize that you have absolutely no right to inspect this child's body, don't you?

Point taken. I only meant I would look at him as he was, like if he had any marks on his arms if he was wearing a shirt that showed his arms. What if he does actually show me a bruise, though? I'm just wondering. I'd call the authorities and all I can do is follow their instructions?

Cults and extreme religious practices that are not legally defensible do exist.

That said, OP, I think you need to back off of your of Jesus complex on this.

Keep after the authorities, and see about getting a lawyer.

Do something constructive instead of something that could sabotage this young person.

Understood. I am not looking for information/advice to take this child out of this group on my own, he has left and come to my home on his own because he knows it is a safe place. I am just seeking advice on what to do if he leaves again that will keep him safe and that won't get anyone sent to jail. I'm not going to like take the kid and run off. I just want to know what the proper first steps would need to be.