Step-parent Adoption MN

[EmmeRose]

Update

Paperwork has been filed and the adoption is in the works. My child support has been frozen and my ex-wife is jumping for joy that I'm out of her life.

 

[EmmeRose]

Question - how long does it take for a step-parent adoption to go through?

Her lawyer told me in September that the paperwork was filed the first week of September and that she will tell me when the adoption has been finalized. I emailed her in January asking if anything has been done about it (you know after waiting 4 months) to which she wrote "Like I said before, I will let you know when the adoption is finalized. Everything was submitted in September."

I've looked in the MN court records and there are no upcoming court dates involving my ex or her husband nor do I have any proof at all that this adoption is happening. Maybe they don't post that on the court website but I was hoping that they'd at least have a court date.

Do step-parent adoptions usually take a long time to go to court?

 

[RRevak]

I'm sorry but any dad willing to be THIS happy over losing their child is, in my opinion, NOT worth helping. When your child comes of age Lucy, you're gonna have some splainin to do..that is IF they'll ever be willing to talk to you again

 

[CSO286]

Question - how long does it take for a step-parent adoption to go through?

Her lawyer told me in September that the paperwork was filed the first week of September and that she will tell me when the adoption has been finalized. I emailed her in January asking if anything has been done about it (you know after waiting 4 months) to which she wrote "Like I said before, I will let you know when the adoption is finalized. Everything was submitted in September."

I've looked in the MN court records and there are no upcoming court dates involving my ex or her husband nor do I have any proof at all that this adoption is happening. Maybe they don't post that on the court website but I was hoping that they'd at least have a court date.

Do step-parent adoptions usually take a long time to go to court?

Well, as someone who is on the other side of a stepparent adoption in MN, and as a person who works in Minnesota's child support system, here's what I know as far as timelines:

Once you file everything with the courts it means you still have to go over to social services and request an Adam Walsh Background Study of the adoptive parent and a search of Minnesota's Adoptive Father Registry. The Adam Walsh study--according to the social workers I've spoken with--can take anywhere from 2-8 weeks to get back. The Adoption registry must be searched even if the birth father is known and gives his consent. This will usually take about 30 days.

Once those are returned and filed with the courts, you can get a hearing date. That can take anywhere from two weeks to three months, assuming that the Judge waives the post-placement assessment. Otherwise, another month or so of time gets shot while you schedule the post-placement assessment with social services and then have that visit and wait for their report.

Then there's the hearing and assuming everything is in order, it can take another 30-90 days to get the final order and decree for adoption.


When you signed the birth parent consent, you also waived your right to notice of subsequent hearings and notices. From the fourth clause in the
CONSENT OF PARENT TO ADOPTION AND WAIVER OF NOTICE OF ADOPTION HEARING

4. I hereby waive notice of any and all hearings now or hereafter related to the adoption of said child.

http://www.mncourts.gov/default.aspx?page=513&item=912&itemType=formDetails


What this means: You will not be notified when the adoption becomes final unless the other parent chooses to tell you.

Also: An adoption in Minnesota is a closed juvenile proceeding. It will not appear on the public court calendar.

 

[EmmeRose]

I'm sorry but any dad willing to be THIS happy over losing their child is, in my opinion, NOT worth helping. When your child comes of age Lucy, you're gonna have some splainin to do..that is IF they'll ever be willing to talk to you again

I am not this happy to lose my child. I will "splain" to my child when she is old enough. I have all the emails saved so I can "splain" to her how crazy her mother is and why it ended up like this. They are already getting divorced but want the adoption to go through first to keep me out of the picture forever. She knows she can get more money out of him than me, she's already told me this.

And thank you CSO, that helped a lot. I know that I had to sign that I waived my notice to all hearings and such. It just makes it odd that technically I might never know if my daughter gets adopted or not. I'm hoping that the attorney will tell me but for all I know, yeah I'm not paying child support right now but it's still accruing. Every month I'm getting the monthly amount put into arrears and interest is being charged. I just don't want in a years time when I could have been having monthly visitation with my daughter, I get hit with a huge amount of child support. If I am her father, I would like to see her.

 

[Proserpina]

I am not this happy to lose my child. I will "splain" to my child when she is old enough. I have all the emails saved so I can "splain" to her how crazy her mother is and why it ended up like this. They are already getting divorced but want the adoption to go through first to keep me out of the picture forever. She knows she can get more money out of him than me, she's already told me this.

And thank you CSO, that helped a lot. I know that I had to sign that I waived my notice to all hearings and such. It just makes it odd that technically I might never know if my daughter gets adopted or not. I'm hoping that the attorney will tell me but for all I know, yeah I'm not paying child support right now but it's still accruing. Every month I'm getting the monthly amount put into arrears and interest is being charged. I just don't want in a years time when I could have been having monthly visitation with my daughter, I get hit with a huge amount of child support. If I am her father, I would like to see her.

They're already getting divorced?

Expect this adoption to be halted - and perhaps overturned.

 

[Proserpina]

Actually, and I apologize in advance if this offends anyone else....

But SERIOUSLY?!

You KNOW they're getting divorced, and you think that this is somehow in your child's best interest to GO THROUGH THAT?!

What is WRONG with you?

Please, tell me your real name is Kelly. Or you're a previous troll. Please.

 

[EmmeRose]

Yes, her mother, who is still friends with me, has told me that her daughter went to her lawyer to file for divorce but the lawyer told her to wait until after the adoption goes through. My ex has also informed me of this through email too. She and our daughter are currently living with her mother. They got married in May 2012, had to wait three months to start the adoption process, so they started it in August and they filed in September. My guess is once the adoption is finalized they will get the ball rolling for divorce. But who knows, things can change, as I guess this adoption could change as well without me knowing.

 

[EmmeRose]

What can I do? I've already signed away my rights. What do I do, call up the courts and say they are getting divorced. The only proof I have is her mother's word and one email.

She's a crazy woman and there is nothing I can do. One day I will be able to see my daughter and explain to her everything. One day, my daughter will know that I am not "d-bag" but actually her father. It just has to be when she's older.

I am not a troll. Would you like copies of all my court papers of where I have tried but failed to see my daughter?

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, I'm sure your explanation will be just fine.

 

[ecmst12]

Don't count on your daughter being willing to let you explain a THING to her, ever.

 

[CSO286]

I am not this happy to lose my child. I will "splain" to my child when she is old enough. I have all the emails saved so I can "splain" to her how crazy her mother is and why it ended up like this. They are already getting divorced but want the adoption to go through first to keep me out of the picture forever. She knows she can get more money out of him than me, she's already told me this.
And thank you CSO, that helped a lot. I know that I had to sign that I waived my notice to all hearings and such. It just makes it odd that technically I might never know if my daughter gets adopted or not. I'm hoping that the attorney will tell me but for all I know, yeah I'm not paying child support right now but it's still accruing. Every month I'm getting the monthly amount put into arrears and interest is being charged. I just don't want in a years time when I could have been having monthly visitation with my daughter, I get hit with a huge amount of child support. If I am her father, I would like to see her.

Telling your child this--telling any child this--would make you a candidate for craptacular father of the year.

RE: "'Splainin'"
Telling any child that their parent is a crazy lady and you didn't do every single thing in your power to protect them from it simply shows that you didn't care more about the child than you cared about yourself.

And if they are getting a divorce? As was previously stated, if the court catches wind of that, things on the adoption front could come to a screeching halt.

Wow. Just wow.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, her mother, who is still friends with me, has told me that her daughter went to her lawyer to file for divorce but the lawyer told her to wait until after the adoption goes through. My ex has also informed me of this through email too. She and our daughter are currently living with her mother. They got married in May 2012, had to wait three months to start the adoption process, so they started it in August and they filed in September. My guess is once the adoption is finalized they will get the ball rolling for divorce. But who knows, things can change, as I guess this adoption could change as well without me knowing.

Usually there needs to be a homestudy completed. If the homestudy reveals the pending divorce/separation then the adoption will most likely NOT be approved.

 

[CSO286]

Yes, her mother, who is still friends with me, has told me that her daughter went to her lawyer to file for divorce but the lawyer told her to wait until after the adoption goes through. My ex has also informed me of this through email too. She and our daughter are currently living with her mother. They got married in May 2012, had to wait three months to start the adoption process, so they started it in August and they filed in September. My guess is once the adoption is finalized they will get the ball rolling for divorce. But who knows, things can change, as I guess this adoption could change as well without me knowing.

What can I do? I've already signed away my rights. What do I do, call up the courts and say they are getting divorced. The only proof I have is her mother's word and one email.

She's a crazy woman and there is nothing I can do. One day I will be able to see my daughter and explain to her everything. One day, my daughter will know that I am not "d-bag" but actually her father. It just has to be when she's older.

I am not a troll. Would you like copies of all my court papers of where I have tried but failed to see my daughter?

See, now I am having a lot of trouble reconciling these statements. OP, can you shed some light on how you've managed to remain "friends" with the crazy lady who had you child and denied you any access to said child?

 

[stealth2]

See, now I am having a lot of trouble reconciling these statements. OP, can you shed some light on how you've managed to remain "friends" with the crazy lady who had you child and denied you any access to said child?

He's friends with the "crazy lady's" mother.