Mother would like change of custody and legal status

[outhouse]

Just got back from the child specialist.

She said I was doing a great job of parenting and and the child is as good as they get.


all green lights.

 

[outhouse]

recieved the mediation report


child will stay in school here with me. and summer vacations we talked about a few different plans and semi agreed on one giving mom a little more time, but the mediation report is just giving her weekends through the summer. at first he was talking about doing 9 days for mom, and 5 during weekdays for me. But in his report he is pretty clear about just weekends for mom.

legal custody he stated that I will still have the legal say so, but attacked aterisk and stated,,,,

Father presents that the Court has granted him the decisive word if they fail to
agree regarding legal issues. This, according to father, is due to allegations
which I am unable to factually determine. Neither myself or Ms. %%% were
able to find “fault” with either party and would not be against an order giving joint
legal custody without restriction to both if the Court sees fit.



looks like legal custody still may be on the block.

 

[Proserpina]

Looks like joint legal custody will be ordered, actually.

 

[outhouse]

court was today

I hate this proccess.


judge was a stand in and didnt really want to get to involved.


he said one of us needs to move closer to share parenting or its going to be all or nothing for custody. And then put off court for another 10 weeks.


he stopped SS and CS for now, gave mother the equal legal custody as there is really nothing now to fight over except for what is in court.


My only issue is that our next court date is also the first day of school in my town. I guess I need to file some kind of emergency notification that we need to get this handled sooner.

another issue is mom is going out of country for a month July through Aug so that is really throwing a wrinkle in the works.



The exact ruling today was just for summer vacation custody hours and moms vacation out of country. and to stop SS and CS.


I dont have a copy but that is all that the judge had ordered, her lawyer said he will send me a copy.



judge also stated this may need to go to a evidentiary hearing, but he says once its all said and done, we will be back in the same shoes were in right now.

he also stated that mom is the one who moved away for whatever reason and now we have all this to deal with.


Im a little stressed its getting dragged out, Atleast I have a mediator and a child specialist stating child should stay with me, and the mother is the one who moved 30 min away, and the child does have paternal family here, and none with mom.

 

[gr8rn]

Why do you think you will need to file for emergency anything? I'm not seeing any emergency, so it looks like you send child to school and head to the courthouse that day...you have no emergency so,it's doubtful you will get a court date sooner...

 

[outhouse]

OK heres the status for anyone following

there was no evidentiary hearing.

4 months of hell is over, I hope I can start sleeping normal again



Moms lawyer racked up $6300 in lawyer fees they tried sticking me with
Mom wanted custody that would result in me having a few days a month and child going to school in a heavily crime ridden place
Equal legal status, instead of me having the final decision
More spousal support
more child support



I used the family code 2032 under "conduct" to fight her lawyer for fees, I stated father had won the right to have
the final say so due to moms criminal negligence after being charged with child endangerment 4 years ago. Mom was fighting this courts ruling not mine. It worked, mom didnt get a penny. I did have full custody when the 730 evaluation gave me that right.


The judge ruled the child would stay in school with me here, as well I was given more custody so I could have 1 weekend a month on top of the mon -fri schedule I have.

Mom also has to do all the driving, picking up child friday after school and bringing her to school Monday morning which is a 45 minute drive on her part each way.

mom lost all spousal support as i did pay all SS in full for half the time of a short term marriage

child support was cut 20 dollars a month.




I did loose the right to make the final decision if parties fail to agree, my only reason for wanting it was to keep the child in school here so its not a great loss.

Now it was my own fault, I should have taken the 730 evaluation to the mediators and it would have been put in. I assumed the courts mediators and judges would already know the case they were dealing with. That was a mistake on my part that wont happen again if somthing simular comes up.



this time around I had a lot more fear in how things would turn out, her new lawyer was a snake in the grass, and doing a good job of trying to whittle away at the judges every ruling. But he was sloppy and I ended up embarrassing him this last day of court. he got caught not sending me court stamped documents when I showed the judge what he was sending me as well, he wasnt mailing me findings and orders after hearing, so the judge had me mail him the findings I prepare. On the $6300 I put a really good presentation together enough the judge stood him right up and wouldnt let him get a word out other then yes or no, the judge already knew the answer to.







AS long as our child does well in school, she will remain here with me. After 2 weeks of first grade in my parent teacher conference, teacher stated my daughter is already at a second grade level in reading and math after just truning 6 and being one of the younger children in class.

 

[stealth2]

Thanks for the update.

 

[outhouse]

After the last year in court, and 3 different judges.

The last commisioner sent us back to mediation again. We just had mediation 10 ish months ago.


We got into mediation and this is a new lady, I tell her the mom is being charged with contempt for enrolling the child in school while I still had the legal decision to do so. Mother lied to mediator and claimed she did not enroll the minor child. The mediator latched on to mom and got her to confess she was lying.

As we are discussing the mediator had to stop mom mid sentance and told her to stop argueing with her, it was very rude.

Mediator asked me if I wanted full legal custody, and I stated no, I just want the tie breaker for medical and schooling issues, as I had before.

She just asked what we each wanted, asked us if we agreed or did not agree, and moved on. About all I know for certain that she will add, is the mom wanted the minor child to be in extra curricular activities, and I agreed to one day a week during school.



It looks like I might get the legal custody back I lost, since the mom had really blown it with this mediator. Ill keep you updated. The report should be out in a few days.




is it common to be sent back to mediation when no changes have been made to either parties, or childs lives?

 

[stealth2]

Honestly? It really seems that the courts are trying to bring it home to BOTH of you that it's time to grow up and learn how to co-parent. Figure out how to work together, rather than involving the courts at every step and little disagreement. Or continue spending your money allowing someone else make you do it. SMH.

 

[single317dad]

I don't like people running into court on every little issue either, but if my ex went so far as to enroll our son in a different school, you can bet your sweet patootey I'd have her back in court. Sometimes co-parenting isn't possible.

 

[CJane]

Is child in SCHOOL, or is child in Pre-K? I seem to remember that all of this started over a fight for Pre-K.

I'm interested in knowing if Mom 'enrolled the child in school', or if Mom enrolled the child in a pre-shool/daycare in her area on her days. Kind of a BIG difference.

 

[outhouse]

Honestly? It really seems that the courts are trying to bring it home to BOTH of you that it's time to grow up and learn how to co-parent. Figure out how to work together, rather than involving the courts at every step and little disagreement. Or continue spending your money allowing someone else make you do it. SMH.

Except for one problem.

The mother.


It is not just me the mother has trouble communicating with. The mother has argued with every judge and every mediator to the point of yelling at mediators during interviews, and like this time trembling with anger after lying to the mediator.

The judges could see the mother behaviour except, she has always had unlimited funds for lawyers, so she hasnt had much direct contact with the different judges.


You would also be ignoring the 730 evaluation that states mother will not co-parent and that father should have the legal say so if parties fail to agree.



Whats really going on is the law attorneys see a cash cow with mother, and are milking it for what its worth promising mother the world, and delivering almost nothing in return. After a year and $8000 mother is back in front of mediators, lying and arguing. I can see how you feel its my fault. [facepalm]


Im editing to tell you this. I have not filed one motion against mother. The mother has always filed digging herself out of the child endangerment charges that buried her, as well as not parenting properly witnessed by multiple mediators and noted in the 730 evaluation.

 

[outhouse]

I don't like people running into court on every little issue either, but if my ex went so far as to enroll our son in a different school, you can bet your sweet patootey I'd have her back in court. Sometimes co-parenting isn't possible.

thing is I didnt drag her back in.

She started it all again.


All im doing is addressing motions directed at me.

 

[outhouse]

Is child in SCHOOL, or is child in Pre-K? I seem to remember that all of this started over a fight for Pre-K.

I'm interested in knowing if Mom 'enrolled the child in school', or if Mom enrolled the child in a pre-shool/daycare in her area on her days. Kind of a BIG difference.

I started all this child was 1.5 when I first entered court.

Child is now 6 in first grade.


Child had preschool down in sac 3 days a week which amounted to mothers free state supported daycare, during mothers parenting time when child was 4 years of age.


I had the legal right to choose schools and placed minor child 45 minutes away in my hometown for kindergarden last year. Mother new child was going to enter school here and did not start fighting until new boyfriend came into picture and child was already 3/4 the way through kindergarden.

Mother did not pay any attention to the childs schooling less one email before she started back in court while the child was in kindergarden.



The whole time child has been in first grade, I have been in court. Mothers lawyer had stated in 5 months they wanted to come back to court for a check up on childs progress, and the judge agreed. We get back into court and now its a complete re evaluation of custody, and a new judge. Mother did not want mediation, but the new judge ordered us back.

Mother blew it in front of mediator, I wouldnt be too suprised to see mom placed back on supervised visits, but I doubt it. She really ticked off the mediator who scolder her to quit argueing after catching her lying about being in contempt. Mediator also told her she is not understanding whats going on, and claimed that is not what father had stated. She was argueing for weird half days for holidays like valentines.

 

[outhouse]

Looks like joint legal custody will be ordered, actually.

And you were right.


This time I did my homework, and brough the 730 evaluation to the mediator. This mediator was on the ball and stated she already read it.

The last mediator who is know retired, as well as the judge, never read any of it at all.


The new mediator asked me if i wanted full custody, so I have a feeling the courts are tired of mother continual disatisfaction with every court ruling being put in place. They have been nothing but flexible always ruling giving in to mother to a point.

As it stands mother has 30 hours a week quality time, and father 24 hours. [when child is awake and not in school] Im not opposed to this current order either. Mother agreed and was going to agree and avoid court, then at the last weekend before mediation she took the gample and hired a new laywer and decided to keep fighting.

But mother wont be happy unless she had full custody and child in school in her city.