Separation Agreement

[monkeydoll]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

So I drafted a separation agreement that would be part of our divorce decree ( haven’t filed for divorce yet). It was pretty simple as we don’t own anything or have any properties or debt together. We do have a child and I wrote in there that I will retain primary physical custody with visitations from the dad every other weekend. So I told my ex I drafted the sep. agreement and that we needed to meet so he could read it and we can have it notarized, as lazy as he is my ex said he was not gonna read it, he just asked me where to sign Of course I was extremely happy since he did not challenge any of the things I wrote in there since he DID NOT read it . Now, don’t I wish I wrote in there that he has to pay me a $1MM wishful thinking lol. So my question are, is this legally binding? Can he change his mind later and say oops sorry I did not read it and I don’t agree and no he wasn’t drunk , I asked him twice to read it and he was just like I don’t need to just tell me where to sign . Also he signed the waiver of service of process and waiver of future service of process, so I don’t think he will have to go to court, since he waived that, right? Is there anything I should have added to the agreement? Will the judge challenge anything on it, or since he signed it and its been notarized, does it mean we are all set? Also my ex lives in MD but Im filing in VA which is where me and my DD reside.Thank you

 

[stealth2]

If it's not filed with the court, then it is not enforceable.

So... did you put anything in there that really puts one over on him?

 

[monkeydoll]

If it's not filed with the court, then it is not enforceable.

So... did you put anything in there that really puts one over on him?

Well I am filing it with the divorce papers so it will be part of our divorce decree and that is stipulated on the agreement, right? Will the court have any reason to say "No we can't use this document" even though it is signed by both parties and notarized? I actually did not put anything in there that is going to hurt him. I put that I had sole physical custody which I thought he might challenge but he did not read it, so He also signed a waiver of service of process and waiver of future service of process, so I don’t think he will have to go to court, since he waived that, right ?

 

[stealth2]

What about legal custody?

 

[LdiJ]

Well I am filing it with the divorce papers so it will be part of our divorce decree and that is stipulated on the agreement, right? Will the court have any reason to say "No we can't use this document" even though it is signed by both parties and notarized? I actually did not put anything in there that is going to hurt him. I put that I had sole physical custody which I thought he might challenge but he did not read it, so He also signed a waiver of service of process and waiver of future service of process, so I don’t think he will have to go to court, since he waived that, right ?

The only reason that a court might reject such an agreement is if there was something in it that was blatantly contrary to the law or blatantly unenforceable.

 

[monkeydoll]

What about legal custody?

I put in it that we will share legal custody since that is the norm right?

 

[monkeydoll]

The only reason that a court might reject such an agreement is if there was something in it that was blatantly contrary to the law or blatantly unenforceable.

I don't think anything I put in there is illegal or even unreasonable at that

 

[ecmst12]

But he can still change his mind and challenge it in court until it becomes a final order.

 

[latigo]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

So I drafted a separation agreement that would be part of our divorce decree ( haven’t filed for divorce yet). It was pretty simple as we don’t own anything or have any properties or debt together.

We do have a child and I wrote in there that I will retain primary physical custody with visitations from the dad every other weekend. So I told my ex I drafted the sep. agreement and that we needed to meet so he could read it and we can have it notarized, as lazy as he is my ex said he was not gonna read it, he just asked me where to sign

Of course I was extremely happy since he did not challenge any of the things I wrote in there since he DID NOT read it . Now, don’t I wish I wrote in there that he has to pay me a $1MM wishful thinking lol.

So my question are, is this legally binding? Can he change his mind later and say oops sorry I did not read it and I don’t agree and no he wasn’t drunk , I asked him twice to read it and he was just like I don’t need to just tell me where to sign .

Also he signed the waiver of service of process and waiver of future service of process, so I don’t think he will have to go to court, since he waived that, right? Is there anything I should have added to the agreement?

Will the judge challenge anything on it, or since he signed it and its been notarized, does it mean we are all set? Also my ex lives in MD but Im filing in VA which is where me and my DD reside.Thank you

I am assuming that somewhere in this self-serving document there is clause mentioning the father’s obligation to provide you with regular financial assistance for the care and needs of his child.

If so, do you know of any legal authority from Virginia, that lacking personal jurisdiction over a parent, a court of that state can bind the parent to a support order? In other words, do so solely on the strength of such an agreement?

Perhaps it could, but if I were you, I would wish to be able to cite that authority to the court.

Also, I have to seriously question the legal effectiveness of this pre-filing, blanket “waiver of service of process”.

Are you in a position to magically convince the Virginia court that you are entitled to a default divorce decree incorporating the contents of the “separation agreement” without the defendant have seen your petition for dissolution?

How do you expect the case to ever reach the default hearing docket, without there being an order of default entered?

If you think that the court will direct the clerk to enter the defendant’s default solely on the strength of his agreement to waive service of summons and complaint dated prior to the commencement of the action, you are in for a shock!

Furthermore, there would be nothing to prevent the father from making a formal appearance in the Virginia divorce case in an attempt to repudiate the agreed custody and visitation arrangements, whether he was drunk or not!

Those considerations, meaning the best interests of the child, outweigh all others.

 

[CustodyKing]

We do have a child and I wrote in there that I will retain primary physical custody with visitations from the dad every other weekend.

I put that I had sole physical custody which I thought he might challenge

I don't think anything I put in there is illegal or even unreasonable at that

Really? Seems you mentioned this a lot....I was going to wait till the third mention to point it out, but I think two shows that even YOU think that is unreasonable.

 

[TheGeekess]

Really? Seems you mentioned this a lot....I was going to wait till the third mention to point it out, but I think two shows that even YOU think that is unreasonable.

Oh, look, it's NYWannabeTeacher.

 

[monkeydoll]

I am assuming that somewhere in this self-serving document there is clause mentioning the father’s obligation to provide you with regular financial assistance for the care and needs of his child.

If so, do you know of any legal authority from Virginia, that lacking personal jurisdiction over a parent, a court of that state can bind the parent to a support order? In other words, do so solely on the strength of such an agreement?

Perhaps it could, but if I were you, I would wish to be able to cite that authority to the court.

Also, I have to seriously question the legal effectiveness of this pre-filing, blanket “waiver of service of process”.

Are you in a position to magically convince the Virginia court that you are entitled to a default divorce decree incorporating the contents of the “separation agreement” without the defendant have seen your petition for dissolution?

How do you expect the case to ever reach the default hearing docket, without there being an order of default entered?

If you think that the court will direct the clerk to enter the defendant’s default solely on the strength of his agreement to waive service of summons and complaint dated prior to the commencement of the action, you are in for a shock!

Furthermore, there would be nothing to prevent the father from making a formal appearance in the Virginia divorce case in an attempt to repudiate the agreed custody and visitation arrangements, whether he was drunk or not!

Those considerations, meaning the best interests of the child, outweigh all others.

Ok, to clarify some points raised. I do not think the document is self-serving, reason why I asked my ex to read it first, I asked him twice and he said no twice. I did not stipulate anything in it that would potentially hurt him down the line. Our child currently resides with me and he sees her on weekends which is the exact arrangement I put in the document that she will primarily reside with me and have visitations with her dad on weekends. Also as far as jurisdiction goes, I had him sign a paper that states that he submits to the jurisdiction of the commonwealth of VA and that was notarized as well, so that should work as far as jurisdiction goes right? I did not put any financial agreement in the separation agreement as far as child support because I have an open case with the Department of Child Support and Services that is an independent agency in the state of VA that also has jurisdiction in child support cases in the state of VA. I will mail his letter that states that he consents to VA jurisdiction to that agency. Now the agreement to waive service of summons is something I had him sign just because he has already seen the divorce papers and is not objecting to anything on it, I made him sign that because from my research that makes the process goes faster since he doesn’t have to be served with the divorce papers as he is not objecting to anything on them. And to your last question, I really do not object to him being present in court for the final divorce decree, that would be his choice but he lives in MD and I know how my ex is, so if he has a choice not to go, that’s what he will choose. That paper to waive summons was only filed because I want this to be over quickly rather than dragging it since we have been separated for 2 years already.

 

[monkeydoll]

Really? Seems you mentioned this a lot....I was going to wait till the third mention to point it out, but I think two shows that even YOU think that is unreasonable.

How is that unreasonable since our child has been primarily living with me for the past 2 years with visitation from him on weekends and he has never said that was unreasonable?

 

[monkeydoll]

But he can still change his mind and challenge it in court until it becomes a final order.

I understand this. Thank you!

 

[Ladyback1]

Really? Seems you mentioned this a lot....I was going to wait till the third mention to point it out, but I think two shows that even YOU think that is unreasonable.

ummm....reading comprehension isn't your strong suit is it? The posts that mention it (aside from the original) were posts in response to specific questions. jeez....

When I divorce we had a stipulated parenting plan that was signed into effect PRIOR to the divorce. It was the first thing that my attorney did.
And yeah, I did pull one over on the Ex. He agreed to the clause that stated overnight visitations were solely at my discretion. Not that he has even tried for any sort of visitation in the last 3 years...but still.