Separation Agreement

[latigo]

Ok, to clarify some points raised. I do not think the document is self-serving, reason why I asked my ex to read it first, I asked him twice and he said no twice. I did not stipulate anything in it that would potentially hurt him down the line. Our child currently resides with me and he sees her on weekends which is the exact arrangement I put in the document that she will primarily reside with me and have visitations with her dad on weekends. Also as far as jurisdiction goes, I had him sign a paper that states that he submits to the jurisdiction of the commonwealth of VA and that was notarized as well, so that should work as far as jurisdiction goes right? I did not put any financial agreement in the separation agreement as far as child support because I have an open case with the Department of Child Support and Services that is an independent agency in the state of VA that also has jurisdiction in child support cases in the state of VA. I will mail his letter that states that he consents to VA jurisdiction to that agency. Now the agreement to waive service of summons is something I had him sign just because he has already seen the divorce papers and is not objecting to anything on it, I made him sign that because from my research that makes the process goes faster since he doesn’t have to be served with the divorce papers as he is not objecting to anything on them. And to your last question, I really do not object to him being present in court for the final divorce decree, that would be his choice but he lives in MD and I know how my ex is, so if he has a choice not to go, that’s what he will choose. That paper to waive summons was only filed because I want this to be over quickly rather than dragging it since we have been separated for 2 years already.

Your intentions are clear and well meaning, but your method, especially in regard to conferring personal jurisdiction, is highly suspect.

What you ought to do is once the action is filed is to deliver a copy of the Virginia summons and complaint to the father and have him sign and return an affidavit in which he:

(1) Acknowledges receipt of the court documents; (2) waives his right to appear and contest the action, and (3) consents to the entry of a decree conforming to the prayer in you complaint or petition for divorce.

In fact I would have you attach a copy of a proposed decree as an exhibit to his affidavit.

What you want to avoid is after spending the time and effort as you propose is to have the court send you back to square one. Because the only time the judge will be examining the court file will be at or shortly prior to the default hearing.

The other option as suggested by another contributor is to do it all by a stipulated judgment. However that would entail the husband incurring a filing or appearance fee.

Good luck

 

[monkeydoll]

ummm....reading comprehension isn't your strong suit is it? The posts that mention it (aside from the original) were posts in response to specific questions. jeez....

When I divorce we had a stipulated parenting plan that was signed into effect PRIOR to the divorce. It was the first thing that my attorney did.
And yeah, I did pull one over on the Ex. He agreed to the clause that stated overnight visitations were solely at my discretion. Not that he has even tried for any sort of visitation in the last 3 years...but still.

Yup, parenting plans can be stipulated prior to divorce and they can be legally binding in most cases

 

[monkeydoll]

Your intentions are clear and well meaning, but your method, especially in regard to conferring personal jurisdiction, is highly suspect.

What you ought to do is once the action is filed is to deliver a copy of the Virginia summons and complaint to the father and have him sign and return an affidavit in which he:

(1) Acknowledges receipt of the court documents; (2) waives his right to appear and contest the action, and (3) consents to the entry of a decree conforming to the prayer in you complaint or petition for divorce.

In fact I would have you attach a copy of a proposed decree as an exhibit to his affidavit.

What you want to avoid is after spending the time and effort as you propose is to have the court send you back to square one. Because the only time the judge will be examining the court file will be at or shortly prior to the default hearing.

The other option as suggested by another contributor is to do it all by a stipulated judgment. However that would entail the husband incurring a filing or appearance fee.

Good luck

How is that suspect? I want VA to have jurisdiction because that's where I live and its just easier and I did tell him that VA would have jurisdiction and he SIGNED that paper knowing fully well what it states, so why are you saying that it is suspect? What is suspect behind that? Why is it a bad thing to have one court get jurisdiction over the case? We both want the same thing which is getting divorced and move on with our lives the fastest way possible. So why have this go through 2 courts and drag the entire process when it can all be done in one court by him consenting to submit to the VA court?

Now as far as the divorce papers are concerned, why are you saying that i need to wait till the court gets them to have him sign the waiver of service? He has already seen the papers, so why can't I just file them together? Is this not accepted by the courts? I haven't sent the papers yet, I still have them with me, so any advice is helpful as far as that is concerned.

 

[latigo]

How is that suspect? I want VA to have jurisdiction because that's where I live and its just easier and I did tell him that VA would have jurisdiction and he SIGNED that paper knowing fully well what it states, so why are you saying that it is suspect? What is suspect behind that? Why is it a bad thing to have one court get jurisdiction over the case? We both want the same thing which is getting divorced and move on with our lives the fastest way possible. So why have this go through 2 courts and drag the entire process when it can all be done in one court by him consenting to submit to the VA court?

Now as far as the divorce papers are concerned, why are you saying that i need to wait till the court gets them to have him sign the waiver of service? He has already seen the papers, so why can't I just file them together? Is this not accepted by the courts? I haven't sent the papers yet, I still have them with me, so any advice is helpful as far as that is concerned.

You've made it clear that you aren't here for legal advice. What you want is for someone to say how clever you are in dreaming up a scheme to avoid set procedural rules.

If you think that you are able to obtain an effective waiver of service of process BEFORE the commencement of your divorce action, then I suggest that you first induce the Virginia legislature to amend Section 8.01-286(a) of the Virginia Code.

Because as it stands now the lead phrase in that subsection reads:

“IN AN ACTION PENDING . . . . “

Furthermore, the title to the official court form of the plaintiff’s Request for Waiver (Form cc-1433) begins with:

“NOTICE OF COMMENCEMENT OF ACTION . . . “

And in that Request for Waiver form there is a check box where the requesting party certifies that he/she/it has provided the opposing party with a copy of the subject document as filed with the court!
______________

Your argumentative and contentiousness nature as displayed here on issues of no particular personal significance, other than your petulance, impatience and intolerance for censuring, leaves little to wonder as to why the broken marriage.

 

[monkeydoll]

You've made it clear that you aren't here for legal advice. What you want is for someone to say how clever you are in dreaming up a scheme to avoid set procedural rules.

If you think that you are able to obtain an effective waiver of service of process BEFORE the commencement of your divorce action, then I suggest that you first induce the Virginia legislature to amend Section 8.01-286(a) of the Virginia Code.

Because as it stands now the lead phrase in that subsection reads:

“IN AN ACTION PENDING . . . . “

Furthermore, the title to the official court form of the plaintiff’s Request for Waiver (Form cc-1433) begins with:

“NOTICE OF COMMENCEMENT OF ACTION . . . “

And in that Request for Waiver form there is a check box where the requesting party certifies that he/she/it has provided the opposing party with a copy of the subject document as filed with the court!
______________

Your argumentative and contentiousness nature as displayed here on issues of no particular personal significance, other than your petulance, impatience and intolerance for censuring, leaves little to wonder as to why the broken marriage.

Thank you for your speculations as far as my broken marriage, not worth commenting on so- Moving on-
I was advised to get the request for waiver of service and file it with the divorce papers. Again, the STBX has seen the divorce papers that need to be filed with the court. So, one more time, why is it that these 2 can't be filed together if the other documents that are part of the divorce have been provided to both parties? And if you can, please just stay on the legal issues at stake here and ignore my petulance, impatience and intolerance, they won't get cured through this forum. Thank you very much!

 

[monkeydoll]

@latigo. I did some more research about the waiver and you are CORRECT, I don't think it can be filed prior to the other documents, so I will file first and then get the waiver from him.

Does anyone know how long I should wait after filing to get the waiver signed? Also, since he lives in another state, how will he get served? Can I just serve him with the papers or is there a specific formal process to this?

Trying to do as much as we can to have it done the fastest way possible.

Thank you everyone for your help

 

[Ohiogal]

@latigo. I did some more research about the waiver and you are CORRECT, I don't think it can be filed prior to the other documents, so I will file first and then get the waiver from him.

Does anyone know how long I should wait after filing to get the waiver signed? Also, since he lives in another state, how will he get served? Can I just serve him with the papers or is there a specific formal process to this?

Trying to do as much as we can to have it done the fastest way possible.

Thank you everyone for your help

You are a party and YOU cannot serve him. You really need to read the rules of civil procedure if you don't have an attorney.

 

[monkeydoll]

You are a party and YOU cannot serve him. You really need to read the rules of civil procedure if you don't have an attorney.

Thank you. Can I have a friend serve him? Or does it have to go through the courts?

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you. Can I have a friend serve him? Or does it have to go through the courts?

READ THE RULES. Now. Go. If you can't read the rules, you need an attorney.

 

[monkeydoll]

READ THE RULES. Now. Go. If you can't read the rules, you need an attorney.

I did and this is what it said and the reason why I thought I could file the waiver of notice before filing but someone on this thread told me earlier that it was not acceptable. This is what I found on the VA divorce page ( my ex lives in a bordering state, not VA) :

A $12 service fee if the complainant wishes to have a defendant that resides in Virginia served by the Sheriff. If the defendant does not reside in the State of Virginia, or if the complainant does not wish to have the document served by a sheriff, the complainant must make arrangements to have the documents served on the defendant. This may be accomplished by using a private process server; or if the defendant is willing to accept service, having the subpoena issued to the complainant so that the complainant may arrange for the defendant to accept service before a notary public or execute a waiver of notice.

My understanding of this was that I could do it myself since is said it could be issued to the complainant so that the complainant may arrange for the defendant to accept service. What's your understanding of this?

 

[Ohiogal]

I did and this is what it said and the reason why I thought I could file the waiver of notice before filing but someone on this thread told me earlier that it was not acceptable. This is what I found on the VA divorce page ( my ex lives in a bordering state, not VA) :



My understanding of this was that I could do it myself since is said it could be issued to the complainant so that the complainant may arrange for the defendant to accept service. What's your understanding of this?

File service instructions with the clerk having them serve a copy by certified mail.

 

[monkeydoll]

File service instructions with the clerk having them serve a copy by certified mail.

There is also this:
A Defendant may also accept
or waive
service pursuant
to Va. Code
Ann.
§20
-
99.1:1 by
signing a proof of service or an
“
Acceptance of Service
”
indicating that the defendant has
received the papers
in the suit. A D
efendant may also waive service of process by fil
ing
an Answer to the Complaint.
(
FORM
4)
B.
T
YPES OF SERVICE
1
.
ACCEPTANCE
OR WAIVER
OF SERVICE:
•
Pursuant to Va. Code
Ann.
§20
-
99.1:1, a Defendant may accept service by signing an
"Acceptance/Waiver of Service of Process and Waiver of Future Service of
Process and Notice"
–
(
FORM 4
)
.
This must be signed under oath before a notary
public or deputy clerk and it cannot be done prior to the filing of the suit.
•

My ex already signed this in front of a notary. Do I still have to get him served?