Ok, to clarify some points raised. I do not think the document is self-serving, reason why I asked my ex to read it first, I asked him twice and he said no twice. I did not stipulate anything in it that would potentially hurt him down the line. Our child currently resides with me and he sees her on weekends which is the exact arrangement I put in the document that she will primarily reside with me and have visitations with her dad on weekends. Also as far as jurisdiction goes, I had him sign a paper that states that he submits to the jurisdiction of the commonwealth of VA and that was notarized as well, so that should work as far as jurisdiction goes right? I did not put any financial agreement in the separation agreement as far as child support because I have an open case with the Department of Child Support and Services that is an independent agency in the state of VA that also has jurisdiction in child support cases in the state of VA. I will mail his letter that states that he consents to VA jurisdiction to that agency. Now the agreement to waive service of summons is something I had him sign just because he has already seen the divorce papers and is not objecting to anything on it, I made him sign that because from my research that makes the process goes faster since he doesn’t have to be served with the divorce papers as he is not objecting to anything on them. And to your last question, I really do not object to him being present in court for the final divorce decree, that would be his choice but he lives in MD and I know how my ex is, so if he has a choice not to go, that’s what he will choose. That paper to waive summons was only filed because I want this to be over quickly rather than dragging it since we have been separated for 2 years already.
Your intentions are clear and well meaning, but your method, especially in regard to conferring personal jurisdiction, is highly suspect.
What you ought to do is once the action is filed is to deliver a copy of the Virginia summons and complaint to the father and have him sign and return an affidavit in which he:
(1) Acknowledges receipt of the court documents; (2) waives his right to appear and contest the action, and (3) consents to the entry of a decree conforming to the prayer in you complaint or petition for divorce.
In fact I would have you attach a copy of a proposed decree as an exhibit to his affidavit.
What you want to avoid is after spending the time and effort as you propose is to have the court send you back to square one. Because the only time the judge will be examining the court file will be at or shortly prior to the default hearing.
The other option as suggested by another contributor is to do it all by a stipulated judgment. However that would entail the husband incurring a filing or appearance fee.
Good luck