Wife took the kids, won't tell me where they are.

[PicoDeWhy]

I'm in Oregon.

Wondering what my options are.
I'm a full time stay-at-home dad with nothing like this ever having occurred before.
I made a common mistake the other day by leaving the
front door unlocked while my 4 year old and 14 month old played in the living room while
I was doing something in another room. I always lock it and just forgot when I went out to get the mail.
Expected wife home from work any minute.
She got home and both kids were at the end of the driveway and possibly in the street.
She left with the kids and the next day withdrew $9,900 from our joint acct., about 80% of all our funds.

If I want to see my kids do I need a lawyer now?

 

[Zigner]

I'm in Oregon.

Wondering what my options are.
I'm a full time stay-at-home dad with nothing like this ever having occurred before.
I made a common mistake the other day by leaving the
front door unlocked while my 4 year old and 14 month old played in the living room while
I was doing something in another room. I always lock it and just forgot when I went out to get the mail.
Expected wife home from work any minute.
She got home and both kids were at the end of the driveway and possibly in the street.
She left with the kids and the next day withdrew $9,900 from our joint acct., about 80% of all our funds.

If I want to see my kids do I need a lawyer now?

1) It's NOT a "common" mistake. Or are you trying to say this is something you do often?

2) Have you communicated with your wife at all?

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm in Oregon.

Wondering what my options are.
I'm a full time stay-at-home dad with nothing like this ever having occurred before.
I made a common mistake the other day by leaving the
front door unlocked while my 4 year old and 14 month old played in the living room while
I was doing something in another room. I always lock it and just forgot when I went out to get the mail.
Expected wife home from work any minute.
She got home and both kids were at the end of the driveway and possibly in the street.
She left with the kids and the next day withdrew $9,900 from our joint acct., about 80% of all our funds.

If I want to see my kids do I need a lawyer now?

Where the heck is your mailbox? How long did it take you to get the mail? How long were the children left unsupervised? Sounds like you will need an attorney. Sounds like you may heading for a divorce.

 

[CSO286]

Where the heck is your mailbox? How long did it take you to get the mail? How long were the children left unsupervised? Sounds like you will need an attorney. Sounds like you may heading for a divorce.

OG, it sounds like he was in the home with the kids with the front door unlocked when wife quietly came home and slipped out with the children.

I wouldn't necessarily call that unsuperivsed. How often have you been making dinner while the children, even toddlers, were simply in another room?

 

[CustodyKing]

The longer she has the children without you, the more 'status quo' she establishes....The more 'status quo' she establishes, the more likely you will NOT be primary custodian after a divorce.

You need a lawyer, you need that lawyer to file for divorce and to file an ex parte order to return the children/pickup order. You need to do this quick.

 

[TheGeekess]

I'm in Oregon.

Wondering what my options are.
I'm a full time stay-at-home dad with nothing like this ever having occurred before.
I made a common mistake the other day by leaving the
front door unlocked while my 4 year old and 14 month old played in the living room while
I was doing something in another room. I always lock it and just forgot when I went out to get the mail.
Expected wife home from work any minute.
She got home and both kids were at the end of the driveway and possibly in the street.
She left with the kids and the next day withdrew $9,900 from our joint acct., about 80% of all our funds.

If I want to see my kids do I need a lawyer now?

OG, it sounds like he was in the home with the kids with the front door unlocked when wife quietly came home and slipped out with the children.

I wouldn't necessarily call that unsuperivsed. How often have you been making dinner while the children, even toddlers, were simply in another room?

The children were near the street.

 

[stealth2]

I'm in Oregon.

Wondering what my options are.
I'm a full time stay-at-home dad with nothing like this ever having occurred before.
I made a common mistake the other day by leaving the
front door unlocked while my 4 year old and 14 month old played in the living room while
I was doing something in another room. I always lock it and just forgot when I went out to get the mail.
Expected wife home from work any minute.
She got home and both kids were at the end of the driveway and possibly in the street.
She left with the kids and the next day withdrew $9,900 from our joint acct., about 80% of all our funds.

If I want to see my kids do I need a lawyer now?

Mom apparently came home and found two very young children out by the street. If this led her to take them and leave OP? I suspect it is not the first such incident of his not watching them well.

 

[CSO286]

The children were near the street.

Ooops! Missed that!

 

[single317dad]

OP, how do you know that the children were near the street? Did you see them there? Did you know they were outside? Did your wife tell you this?

My front door is unlocked most of the time. My 5 year old knows not to go outside without permission, and has known such since before he turned three. Does your 4 year old bolt out the door to the street every time the door is left unlocked? Did he possibly see Mom come home and ran out to meet her?

I speculate that the leaving and hoarding of funds is unrelated to the issue of the kids' escape.

If I want to see my kids do I need a lawyer now?

If you think you might need a lawyer, you're probably right. You and Mom could certainly come to an agreement regarding custody and visitation without an attorney, but if that was the case you probably wouldn't be here.

 

[PicoDeWhy]

Ha! What a joke this is. No wonder it's free.

Fyi, it WAS the first time it happened. I have many many friends and family that would happily vouch for the fact that
I've been pulling super-dad duties for almost 5 years now. I don't want to have to get a lawyer, because as my wife has been the primary breadwinner of our family, she'll have to pay for my lawyer and likely alimony to me until I get on my feet.

I'd like to save us the trouble and heartache that'll take a long time to recover from.

 

[PicoDeWhy]

Thank you.

OP, how do you know that the children were near the street? Did you see them there? Did you know they were outside? Did your wife tell you this?

My front door is unlocked most of the time. My 5 year old knows not to go outside without permission, and has known such since before he turned three. Does your 4 year old bolt out the door to the street every time the door is left unlocked? Did he possibly see Mom come home and ran out to meet her?

I speculate that the leaving and hoarding of funds is unrelated to the issue of the kids' escape.



If you think you might need a lawyer, you're probably right. You and Mom could certainly come to an agreement regarding custody and visitation without an attorney, but if that was the case you probably wouldn't be here.

This sounds like solid insight and advice. Thank you. I did not see them there. She came in with both of them.

 

[Isis1]

actually, "SuperDad", only one attorney asked you questions and gave you advice. the rest of us never claimed to be attorneys.

the problem is....we have to ask questions to get the bottom of the story and to get a good feel of the situation you are in.

normally, you being the primary caretaker would give you a good advantage of being the primary parent. if the children escaping the residence was a one time issue, then it would not have much of an impact. but the situation would drastically change if this was a habit of yours.

mom leaving and running with the children over this one occurrence is suspect. either this isn't her only gripe, or she's been planning this for some time and jumped at the first opportunity.

we can only tell you that mom cannot be forced to give over the children without you filing a divorce and demanding a visitation schedule of some sort.

 

[CJane]

This sounds like solid insight and advice. Thank you. I did not see them there. She came in with both of them.

So, she brought the children inside, and a fight ensued and THEN she left? She didn't just pull into the street, see the kids playing out there, grab them and take off?

Because those are two very different scenarios, and only one of them is what you originally presented here.

 

[Proserpina]

Fyi, it WAS the first time it happened. I have many many friends and family that would happily vouch for the fact that
I've been pulling super-dad duties for almost 5 years now. I don't want to have to get a lawyer, because as my wife has been the primary breadwinner of our family, she'll have to pay for my lawyer and likely alimony to me until I get on my feet.

I'd like to save us the trouble and heartache that'll take a long time to recover from.

What makes you think Mom will be paying your legal fees and paying you alimony?

 

[LdiJ]

]Fyi, it WAS the first time it happened. I have many many friends and family that would happily vouch for the fact that
I've been pulling super-dad duties for almost 5 years now. I don't want to have to get a lawyer, because as my wife has been the primary breadwinner of our family, she'll have to pay for my lawyer and likely alimony to me until I get on my feet.

I'd like to save us the trouble and heartache that'll take a long time to recover from.

If it was just the 4 year old that made it outside...I might agree that more with your position...but your 14 month old was outside as well. Who lets a 14 month old out of their sight at all unless the child is in a playpen or otherwise restrained?