Ex owes me 5,000

[bmatthews]

Iowa, U.S.
Hello all, I'm in a bit of a predicament. I loaned an ex of mine, who was my girlfriend at the time obviously, $5,000 for a vehicle. I payed with it with my check, but the titles in her name. Please spare me the lecture on how dumb it was..It was a special circumstance. She has no parents, her dad ran off and her mom committed suicide when she was 16. She's a really nice girl, and really good person and she's smart and fairly motivated, but she doesn't have a lot of family to support her. Going through college this can be rather difficult. I know she gets a really nice amount of government aide for student loans and whatnot and she's on food stamps so that helps. Honestly guys, I was just helping her. I couldn't empathize with her, I come from a solid upper middle class family and I had not known struggle like her. The money was basically my savings from working in high school, and it's not like I'm dying without it right now as I'm doing fine. I do realize, however, that it is a good chunk of cash that I busted my ass for. From the start, we had the agreement that she would pay me back, and to this day she still swears on it. It's been 5 months and I haven't seen a dime. She keeps talking about how she's getting a new job or something, I'm not sure. She also said she'd get me a loan but I don't see who would loan anything to her (besides my dumb ass). Anyway..I've got a few things I'd consider beneficial.
I'll start with my most civil aces in the hole (if they even are):
1.) I have saved text messages from her phone stating promises of paying me back and working on payment plans, which I understand in court would establish that it was a transaction done with both sides understanding it was a loan, and that she was NOT being gifted the money.
2.) I've got a squeaky clean criminal record and she's got a shoplifting charge on there..which I'm not sure if this is even a factor but I'm going in order of how civil these tactics are.
3.) Here is the method I do not want to resort to. I have in my possession several naked pictures of her. She may or may not know that I possess them, but I have thought about using this as leverage. I would not text her that though, I would call so she would have no evidence and couldn't use it against me saying I threatened her.
Honestly guys, I want to do this right. I don't want to resort to the latter and I need some options. Please give it to me straight and spare me the lecture on what a dumbass I am. Thanks

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

So you have no enforceable contract and you are going to compound your poor choices by going to prison for blackmail?

 

[bmatthews]

So you have no enforceable contract and you are going to compound your poor choices by going to prison for blackmail?

I don't know what I'm doing lol. I'm here, I just want options..if there are any. Those texts aren't decent evidence?

 

[Proserpina]

I don't know what I'm doing lol. I'm here, I just want options..if there are any. Those texts aren't decent evidence?

It really depends on the content, whether or not they're admissible, and (perhaps) you being able to prove that she actually sent them.

As you can see, the blackmail angle is about THE most stupid thing you can do. Sure, you might get small claims to rule in your favor - but it's not going to help you much if you're languishing in a metal cage somewhere, now is it?

(And don't think for one single nanosecond that she'd need you to put it in writing before action could be taken against you)

 

[bmatthews]

It really depends on the content, whether or not they're admissible, and (perhaps) you being able to prove that she actually sent them.

As you can see, the blackmail angle is about THE most stupid thing you can do. Sure, you might get small claims to rule in your favor - but it's not going to help you much if you're languishing in a metal cage somewhere, now is it?

(And don't think for one single nanosecond that she'd need you to put it in writing before action could be taken against you)

Alright Alright, cut me some slack guys, I'm a nursing student lol. Never dived into law of any sort. The texts are clearly from her number, her current number, I made sure I didn't save the pictures I took of them as her name because think of it this way: I could have a close friend help me out by texting me a conversation stating the agreement we have, and then save that number as "Ex's name" and say it was her when it wasn't. The identifier in the message is actually (xxx-xxx-xxxx) phone number. Is that a decent start?

 

[Proserpina]

Alright Alright, cut me some slack guys, I'm a nursing student lol. Never dived into law of any sort. The texts are clearly from her number, her current number, I made sure I didn't save the pictures I took of them as her name because think of it this way: I could have a close friend help me out by texting me a conversation stating the agreement we have, and then save that number as "Ex's name" and say it was her when it wasn't. The identifier in the message is actually (xxx-xxx-xxxx) phone number. Is that a decent start?

My dear nursing student. You're at a point in life where you have to consider - seriously - your decision-making processes.

Stick to what's actually legal and decent, rather than trickery and/or fraud and/or anything else squiffy.

If you can't make a case based on what you have, then you can't make a case. Bear in mind that small claims court has a much lower burden of proof; it goes by "preponderance of evidence" versus "beyond reasonable doubt".

So. You've really got nothing to lose except the filing fee, I suppose. Try your luck in small claims.

 

[bmatthews]

My dear nursing student. You're at a point in life where you have to consider - seriously - your decision-making processes.

Stick to what's actually legal and decent, rather than trickery and/or fraud and/or anything else squiffy.

If you can't make a case based on what you have, then you can't make a case. Bear in mind that small claims court has a much lower burden of proof; it goes by "preponderance of evidence" versus "beyond reasonable doubt".

So. You've really got nothing to lose except the filing fee, I suppose. Try your luck in small claims.

Really? Small claims doesn't come with heft fees? Is 5,000 k still considered a small claim?

 

[Proserpina]

Really? Small claims doesn't come with heft fees? Is 5,000 k still considered a small claim?

Iowa's small claims limit is $5000. Looks like you're good there.

And yeap, the fees are relatively very low compared to a higher court; that's part of why small claims is there

Here you go - a PDF basically explaining the whole thing:

http://www.iowalegalaid.org/files/A3ED30CF-AFFE-7431-9310-0D521E4312AF/attachments/44B42758-808A-4DDC-B62E-61E9E3240BE8/small-claims-court-jul-2012.pdf

Uh..sorry, awfully long link.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Your problem is you have no promise of terms or time for repayment, even if a court assumed the texts created a contract.

 

[bmatthews]

Your problem is you have no promise of terms or time for repayment, even if a court assumed the texts created a contract.

What if I texted her saying something like:
We agreed that you'd start making payments of at least $100/ month 5 months ago and you have yet to pay me anything.

If she aknoweldges that, is that a decent piece of evidence?

Also, in the off chance that I won small court, how do they make her pay it back?
If I lose, can I try it again?
I don't need a lawyer do I?

 

[bmatthews]

Currently on record, I have a text that reads:
"I'm getting you a loan, I already told you I was you ****ing psycho." word for word lol
Does that somewhat establish the agreement we had that she had to pay me back?
Is it not entirely impossible for me to create and have her respond to those terms now? What would the difference be if I can prove it came from her number?

 

[Proserpina]

What if I texted her saying something like:
We agreed that you'd start making payments of at least $100/ month 5 months ago and you have yet to pay me anything.

If she aknoweldges that, is that a decent piece of evidence?

Also, in the off chance that I won small court, how do they make her pay it back?
If I lose, can I try it again?
I don't need a lawyer do I?

No, of course you don't get to try again if you don't win.

Small claims may not allow attorneys - check with...you know..that PDF file I provided?

Bear in mind that getting the judgement is the easy part. The court isn't there to assist you actually collecting, and collection is the hard part.

 

[Silverplum]

I plan to respond to all RL inquiries today by beginning with, "My dear nursing student..."


You know I will.

 

[bmatthews]

I've got good news! She called me today to inform me that she's got a job now, and payments can be expected within a few weeks directly to my bank. She's going to hold on the the transaction receipts for proof of payment. Crisis avoided guys.

 

[davew128]

I've got good news! She called me today to inform me that she's got a job now, and payments can be expected within a few weeks directly to my bank. She's going to hold on the the transaction receipts for proof of payment. Crisis avoided guys.

Right.