child support modification (my husband's for his 18 year old daughter)

[Ladyback1]

What is his current status, medically? What is preventing him from SGA (substantial gainful activity) at this time?
What was his income last year?

I ask these questions because he would probably qualify for SSDI.

 

[Proserpina]

What is his current status, medically? What is preventing him from SGA (substantial gainful activity) at this time?
What was his income last year?

I ask these questions because he would probably qualify for SSDI.

Hon, can I put this another way? Even with expedited filing there's a better-than-decent chance that he won't see the first check

I'm trying really hard not to upset the OP because she'll be going through hell as it is. Even if you know beforehand and go through anticipatory grief, it doesn't actually do much to help the initial aftermath of the passing itself. I'm even struggling for the right words and you all know how long-winded I can be

This is, truly, a case where I believe very strongly that compassion needs to come before the wallet. His daughter is going to grieve, OP is going to grieve and yes, even Mom will grieve (come on, he IS the father of her child). It also won't affect his daughter's SSDI dependent benefits (and this assumes that he'd qualify for SSDI versus SSI - social security quarters, all of that mess).

I don't really know what else to say.

So I best shush for now.

 

[Ohiogal]

I would think "dying" might just convince the folk at child support.

Y'know, I get your point, but there are times when we SERIOUSLY need to turn down the venom.

This isn't the "usual" case. At all. Even IF.

No venom at all. The point is, a diagnosis may not mean much. If he has the diagnosis and yet can still work (which apparently he can) then he can be imputed. If he has the diagnosis and the doctor says he can't work (and dad has shown he can't work by applying for disability and other things) that is different. Again, a DIAGNOSIS is not going to be enough. Dad apparently can work. He has been working. That is the point. Unless he has more than just a diagnosis that he may die in the next couple months -- well.... he can be imputed. THOSE ARE FACTS.

According to OP, he is working in his wedding band. His business has dropped because of DJs (competition) and not playing anything beyond the 70s. That doesn't mean he cannot work. Therein is the issue that says to me he CAN work. Because HE IS WORKING.

 

[Proserpina]

No venom at all. The point is, a diagnosis may not mean much. If he has the diagnosis and yet can still work (which apparently he can) then he can be imputed. If he has the diagnosis and the doctor says he can't work (and dad has shown he can't work by applying for disability and other things) that is different. Again, a DIAGNOSIS is not going to be enough. Dad apparently can work. He has been working. That is the point. Unless he has more than just a diagnosis that he may die in the next couple months -- well.... he can be imputed. THOSE ARE FACTS.

According to OP, he is working in his wedding band. His business has dropped because of DJs (competition) and not playing anything beyond the 70s. That doesn't mean he cannot work. Therein is the issue that says to me he CAN work. Because HE IS WORKING.

Yeap, I read the posts.

I'm just not convinced that the average judge will push the issue too far. We both know that you don't need a definitive life expectancy in order to file for a change, if only because physicians are very careful about giving "time limits". Could he last five years? He could, yes. Could he last five years without being debilitated? Unlikely, but there's no guarantee either way.

OG, you know me. You know that as a general rule I'm not parked in the "awww yes you should get support lowered because you have a nasty cold/have to move to the beach in Florida because you have a condition that can only be cured by living next to the beach/stubbed your toe on your Mercedes/Mom is a big old meanie" camp. But sometimes we get situations which are so out of the box that not only do we as responders get thrown for a loop, the presiding judge/commissioner/whatever may also be looking for something other than the black and white child support guidelines.

Y'know?

 

[Ladyback1]

Hon, can I put this another way? Even with expedited filing there's a better-than-decent chance that he won't see the first check

I'm trying really hard not to upset the OP because she'll be going through hell as it is. Even if you know beforehand and go through anticipatory grief, it doesn't actually do much to help the initial aftermath of the passing itself. I'm even struggling for the right words and you all know how long-winded I can be

This is, truly, a case where I believe very strongly that compassion needs to come before the wallet. His daughter is going to grieve, OP is going to grieve and yes, even Mom will grieve (come on, he IS the father of her child). It also won't affect his daughter's SSDI dependent benefits (and this assumes that he'd qualify for SSDI versus SSI - social security quarters, all of that mess).

I don't really know what else to say.

So I best shush for now.

Please don't call me "hon"---we don't know each other well enough for terms of endearment!

It depends on what kind of backlog situation the state DDS (disability determination service) is running other.
A claim can be approved within as little as 4 weeks, if it is expedited and there is a compassionate allowance.
Again, it really does depend on what sort of backlog...

 

[Proserpina]

Please don't call me "hon"---we don't know each other well enough for terms of endearment!

It depends on what kind of backlog situation the state DDS (disability determination service) is running other.
A claim can be approved within as little as 4 weeks, if it is expedited and there is a compassionate allowance.
Again, it really does depend on what sort of backlog...

I've lived it. With a terminal patient. He was approved in far less than 90 days. Unfortunately he only lived long enough to get a few checks.

I will refrain from calling you anything but your name, deary (if necessary).

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Whatever you do, don't call her Shirley.

I've lived it. With a terminal patient. He was approved in far less than 90 days. Unfortunately he only lived long enough to get a few checks.

I will refrain from calling you anything but your name, deary (if necessary).

 

[Proserpina]

Whatever you do, don't call her Shirley.

Dude that's the FIRST thing that went through my head! lol

 

[stealth2]

NJJ requires a court order to stop CS. So your husband needs to file to have it ended. Also - has he filed for disability? Is he even eligible for it, being self-employed? (I don't know - but I was shocked when, recently during a hospital stay, they brought me the paperwork to apply). Lots of coulda-woulda-shouldas which are all kind of moot. But HE needs to fix this.

And Brookdale's a pretty good school. Good for his daughter!

 

[RRevak]

Whatever you do, don't call her Shirley.

And now I completely adore you *as I wipe coffee from my computer screen*

 

[tibeaux]

Hon, can I put this another way? Even with expedited filing there's a better-than-decent chance that he won't see the first check

I'm trying really hard not to upset the OP because she'll be going through hell as it is. Even if you know beforehand and go through anticipatory grief, it doesn't actually do much to help the initial aftermath of the passing itself. I'm even struggling for the right words and you all know how long-winded I can be

This is, truly, a case where I believe very strongly that compassion needs to come before the wallet. His daughter is going to grieve, OP is going to grieve and yes, even Mom will grieve (come on, he IS the father of her child). It also won't affect his daughter's SSDI dependent benefits (and this assumes that he'd qualify for SSDI versus SSI - social security quarters, all of that mess).

I don't really know what else to say.

So I best shush for now.

Thanks again for all the input--nothing shocks me, since I've already researched his cancer and am well aware of the prognosis. But to answer the question of imputed income and his ability to work---he is feeling FINE now, and is definitely capable of working. The problem is that he's been a musician all his life and never held down a "regular" job. he has other talents, like plumbing, car repair, and audio engineering, but these days you need a degree or certificate to work in these businesses. So anything he does is more on an informal basis.

 

[tibeaux]

NJJ requires a court order to stop CS. So your husband needs to file to have it ended. Also - has he filed for disability? Is he even eligible for it, being self-employed? (I don't know - but I was shocked when, recently during a hospital stay, they brought me the paperwork to apply). Lots of coulda-woulda-shouldas which are all kind of moot. But HE needs to fix this.

And Brookdale's a pretty good school. Good for his daughter!

Thanks! Believe it or not, he's not in any way disabled ...he swims about 30 laps 3X per week. I'm very thankful that he's doing this well, and perhaps that's why I'm upset about our financial situation...if he was in a steady decline, I wouldn't whine about it. (But that does bring up the issue of what to do should he start to decline.)

 

[Just Blue]

Please don't call me "hon"---we don't know each other well enough for terms of endearment!

It depends on what kind of backlog situation the state DDS (disability determination service) is running other.
A claim can be approved within as little as 4 weeks, if it is expedited and there is a compassionate allowance.
Again, it really does depend on what sort of backlog...

Ms. LB.

"Hon" is a term meant as friendly. Don't find contention where none exists.

 

[stealth2]

Thanks! Believe it or not, he's not in any way disabled ...he swims about 30 laps 3X per week. I'm very thankful that he's doing this well, and perhaps that's why I'm upset about our financial situation...if he was in a steady decline, I wouldn't whine about it. (But that does bring up the issue of what to do should he start to decline.)

Then, I would think, he should be able to work at least p/t.

 

[Zigner]

You aren't supporting his daughter or his ex. HE is reimbursing his ex for raising their joint daughter. You seem to accept all the excuses he hands out for not having a relationship with his daughter. I vote for the fact that he didn't care that much.

This is spot-on right now. The OP has been recently diagnosed and is presently still able to work. He has chosen to remain a musician for all of these years. The OP has chosen to support him. Those are the facts. The father chose to not do anything to better himself in the last 15 years.