Frustrated

[Ohiogal]

I note you state that your son has been paying child support. You never stated it was court ordered? If it is NOT court ordered, was PATERNITY ever established?

 

[berdonj]

Fustrated

Well, when I was talking to the admin VP. She mentioned that she was going to talk to each boy separately. I told her that's a good idea.
Then from there she mentioned mediation. Bringing us all together in a meeting to talk. The two boys already mentioned to me how they
love me and their Dad. They are very smart and they forgive their Dad. The Dad already apologized to them. Okay so, now I find out today
from My oldest grandson girlfriend that the Mother told the boys to go into the meeting and to tell the VP that I Grandma is harassing them.
My oldest Grandson said that Mom is making them lie. His girlfriend is a big witness to what is going on when the boys come to visit me. I do
not try to take them anywhere off the campus. I do not see them anywhere else other then in school. Mother wants me fired from my job. In
the past she has been on drugs. This is not normal thinking, cause we are not harming the boys at all. We just support them. I am a teacher
that would never ever harm any child and more so my Grand kids. I love them and I am willing to tell the boys to get out of my room when the
come and visit. The boys are worried now for me, cause the Mother is trying to get at me. It hurts them to see this happening. The school I am at
I have worked there for 15 years. I have a very good reputation and I have lots of witness that can say I do not harm or put any negative thoughts into the boys heads. It's just a simple visit of hi and hello and how they are doing academic wise. I offer them help in their academics if they need it. I am not
trying to make my own visitation on the sly. I feel like everyone is against me in this forum now. Oh and the child support was court ordered for my son to do. He was in jail when she did got her a Public Defender to file sole custody. He couldn't show up for court so therefore he lost custody of the boys.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I'm not against you. Tell them they can move into your house when they are 18. Don't get yourself fired over this.

 

[Proserpina]

Well, when I was talking to the admin VP. She mentioned that she was going to talk to each boy separately. I told her that's a good idea.
Then from there she mentioned mediation. Bringing us all together in a meeting to talk. The two boys already mentioned to me how they
love me and their Dad. They are very smart and they forgive their Dad. The Dad already apologized to them. Okay so, now I find out today
from My oldest grandson girlfriend that the Mother told the boys to go into the meeting and to tell the VP that I Grandma is harassing them.
My oldest Grandson said that Mom is making them lie. His girlfriend is a big witness to what is going on when the boys come to visit me. I do
not try to take them anywhere off the campus. I do not see them anywhere else other then in school. Mother wants me fired from my job. In
the past she has been on drugs. This is not normal thinking, cause we are not harming the boys at all. We just support them. I am a teacher
that would never ever harm any child and more so my Grand kids. I love them and I am willing to tell the boys to get out of my room when the
come and visit. The boys are worried now for me, cause the Mother is trying to get at me. It hurts them to see this happening. The school I am at
I have worked there for 15 years. I have a very good reputation and I have lots of witness that can say I do not harm or put any negative thoughts into the boys heads. It's just a simple visit of hi and hello and how they are doing academic wise. I offer them help in their academics if they need it. I am not
trying to make my own visitation on the sly. I feel like everyone is against me in this forum now.

The problem is that you have no rights at all.

Mom controls to a massive degree.

Look - they're teens. Eventually they're going to figure out who cares and who doesn't. No matter how difficult Mom and Dad can be, kids will figure out the truth on their own.

Don't jeopardize your job. (Unless you've got something similar in mind so you're not compromising your budget)

 

[berdonj]

Thank you, I am just so sad and hurt that this has to come to this point for the boys. They were thrilled
and very happy to just get that little time to spend chatting with their Grandma. Your so right about they
will soon be adults and they can visit us anytime. Not worth me getting all worked up over. I have 2 other Grand
children that are getting lots of love from both Grandpa and Grandma. Thanks to the few of you on this forum
that made me feel better and do the right thing. I do respect the Mom. It was just that I couldn't why it was
wrong of the boys to come say Hi to me in my classroom and talk for 15 minutes with their girlfriends. They
were so happy. Now, it's got to end till they are 18yrs old. The truth will surface very soon between the boys and
their Mother. Hopefully she will show up for mediation when the Admin at the school calls her in along with the two
boys.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you, I am just so sad and hurt that this has to come to this point for the boys. They were thrilled
and very happy to just get that little time to spend chatting with their Grandma. Your so right about they
will soon be adults and they can visit us anytime. Not worth me getting all worked up over. I have 2 other Grand
children that are getting lots of love from both Grandpa and Grandma. Thanks to the few of you on this forum
that made me feel better and do the right thing. I do respect the Mom. It was just that I couldn't why it was
wrong of the boys to come say Hi to me in my classroom and talk for 15 minutes with their girlfriends. They
were so happy. Now, it's got to end till they are 18yrs old. The truth will surface very soon between the boys and
their Mother. Hopefully she will show up for mediation when the Admin at the school calls her in along with the two
boys.

One of the reasons why you received the response you did is because we tend to hear from two groups: Either the grandparent who thinks that they can override the Constitutional rights of the parents, or the parent who is panicking because a toxic grandparent is trying to bully the parent.

There are of course exceptions to this.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well, when I was talking to the admin VP. She mentioned that she was going to talk to each boy separately. I told her that's a good idea.
Then from there she mentioned mediation. Bringing us all together in a meeting to talk. The two boys already mentioned to me how they
love me and their Dad. They are very smart and they forgive their Dad. The Dad already apologized to them. Okay so, now I find out today
from My oldest grandson girlfriend that the Mother told the boys to go into the meeting and to tell the VP that I Grandma is harassing them.
My oldest Grandson said that Mom is making them lie. His girlfriend is a big witness to what is going on when the boys come to visit me. I do
not try to take them anywhere off the campus. I do not see them anywhere else other then in school. Mother wants me fired from my job. In
the past she has been on drugs. This is not normal thinking, cause we are not harming the boys at all. We just support them. I am a teacher
that would never ever harm any child and more so my Grand kids. I love them and I am willing to tell the boys to get out of my room when the
come and visit. The boys are worried now for me, cause the Mother is trying to get at me. It hurts them to see this happening. The school I am at
I have worked there for 15 years. I have a very good reputation and I have lots of witness that can say I do not harm or put any negative thoughts into the boys heads. It's just a simple visit of hi and hello and how they are doing academic wise. I offer them help in their academics if they need it. I am not
trying to make my own visitation on the sly. I feel like everyone is against me in this forum now. Oh and the child support was court ordered for my son to do. He was in jail when she did got her a Public Defender to file sole custody. He couldn't show up for court so therefore he lost custody of the boys.

If dad hasn't talked to them in 15 years how did he apologize to them? And HE could have filed when he got out of jail if he cared. He didn't. For what was he in jail? For how long? Mediation is not enforceable nor binding. Mom NEVER has to agree with you being around the children. I note you are making MOM the enemy and evil one here --i.e. she is the one who has prevented your son from being involved. That is a lie. YOUR SON has prevented himself from being involved. You say mom is wanting the boys to lie, but you are lying to them as well by presenting your son as someone who WANTS to be involved when he doesn't.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you, I am just so sad and hurt that this has to come to this point for the boys. They were thrilled
and very happy to just get that little time to spend chatting with their Grandma. Your so right about they
will soon be adults and they can visit us anytime. Not worth me getting all worked up over. I have 2 other Grand
children that are getting lots of love from both Grandpa and Grandma. Thanks to the few of you on this forum
that made me feel better and do the right thing. I do respect the Mom. It was just that I couldn't why it was
wrong of the boys to come say Hi to me in my classroom and talk for 15 minutes with their girlfriends. They
were so happy. Now, it's got to end till they are 18yrs old. The truth will surface very soon between the boys and
their Mother. Hopefully she will show up for mediation when the Admin at the school calls her in along with the two
boys.

You want support? You want truth? Face the truth that your son owns this issue and this problem and that if he had stepped up when he got out of jail (why was in jail?) that he could have been a parent to his sons. He didn't. Hence he basically abandoned THEM physically by doing nothing for 15 years.

 

[stealth2]

Well, when I was talking to the admin VP. She mentioned that she was going to talk to each boy separately. I told her that's a good idea.
Then from there she mentioned mediation. Bringing us all together in a meeting to talk. The two boys already mentioned to me how they
love me and their Dad. They are very smart and they forgive their Dad. The Dad already apologized to them. Okay so, now I find out today
from My oldest grandson girlfriend that the Mother told the boys to go into the meeting and to tell the VP that I Grandma is harassing them.
My oldest Grandson said that Mom is making them lie. His girlfriend is a big witness to what is going on when the boys come to visit me. I do
not try to take them anywhere off the campus. I do not see them anywhere else other then in school. Mother wants me fired from my job. In
the past she has been on drugs. This is not normal thinking, cause we are not harming the boys at all. We just support them. I am a teacher
that would never ever harm any child and more so my Grand kids. I love them and I am willing to tell the boys to get out of my room when the
come and visit. The boys are worried now for me, cause the Mother is trying to get at me. It hurts them to see this happening. The school I am at
I have worked there for 15 years. I have a very good reputation and I have lots of witness that can say I do not harm or put any negative thoughts into the boys heads. It's just a simple visit of hi and hello and how they are doing academic wise. I offer them help in their academics if they need it. I am not
trying to make my own visitation on the sly. I feel like everyone is against me in this forum now. Oh and the child support was court ordered for my son to do. He was in jail when she did got her a Public Defender to file sole custody. He couldn't show up for court so therefore he lost custody of the boys.

15 years have passed - your son has had plenty of time to file for visitation. PLENTY! And I'm sorry, but... your admin has NO place suggesting mediation, etc. between you and the boys. That is up to their PARENT! Has it occurred to you that these boys (and their friends) are playing you like a well-tuned fiddle?

 

[stealth2]

Hence he basically abandoned me physically by doing nothing for 15 years.

Is there a skeleton in your closet, OG???

 

[wavehopper27]

If mom doesn't want you around the kids then you need to be the adult and, unless there is an emergency, gently send them away if they come looking for you. As others have said, mom holds all the cards until they turn 18 and you need to play by her rules or possibly face consequences.

 

[Ohiogal]

Is there a skeleton in your closet, OG???

Corrected now. I let many typos stand but NOT that one.

 

[stealth2]

corrected now. I let many typos stand but not that one.

lol **************..

 

[Rwedunyet]

I'm curious, too. What exactly do you teach in High school? I certainly hope it's not English or any form of writing. The poor writing skills from a teacher make me wonder if you are a troll or if your school system is seriously lacking.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii, I am a Grandmother and have two Grandson's in High
School. I substitute Teach long term and short term at this one and only HS. My Grandson's are attending the same school.
The Mother has custody of both boys, and the boys have not seen me for like from when they were 2 yrs old. Now, that
they have found out that I am their Grandma. They have been coming to visit and talk story with me.

Now, that both parents are 36 yrs old now. Mother still holds that grudge on my son. This is the reason we are unable to have contact with the children. The oldest boys knows me cause where we live is a small town. Everybody knows every bodies business and my husband and I help raise the oldest boy from baby to 2 years old. Mother's mom kicked her out of the house when she was 17yrs old and allowed her to live with us. My son at the time he was young and made bad choices.(

I understand what most of you are saying. I don't believe I should be terminated or disciplined by the School for my Grandson's coming to visit me on their own. I did and do not pursue them to come and visit me at all. I am suppose to tell them go away from me? There is no court order/grounds for me to stop talking to them if they come to me. They are both 17 yrs and 16 yrs old my Grandsons. I agree with one of you that they soon will be 18 yrs old and will be adults. Then they can leave their Mom and come visit us anytime. Yes, it is my son's fault to have not taking legal action to get visitation rights. We were all staying away from the boys respecting her saying she doesn't want her boys to have contact with us. But, they are now in high school were I teach.

The Dad already apologized to them. Okay so, now I find out today
from My oldest grandson girlfriend that the Mother told the boys to go into the meeting and to tell the VP that I Grandma is harassing them.
My oldest Grandson said that Mom is making them lie. His girlfriend is a big witness to what is going on when the boys come to visit me. I do
not try to take them anywhere off the campus. I do not see them anywhere else other then in school. Mother wants me fired from my job.

lol **************..

 

[single317dad]

I'm curious, too. What exactly do you teach in High school? I certainly hope it's not English or any form of writing. The poor writing skills from a teacher make me wonder if you are a troll or if your school system is seriously lacking.

I wondered the same, until I saw the state was Hawaii. One in four Hawaiians primarily speaks a language other than English.