"but officer she hit me"

[idea0001]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? COLORADO


After a night of beer drinking and arguing, she went to bed about two hours before him. He thought she was asleep. He went to bed, she must have been laying there festering. She started in again. Calling him names yelling, cussing, he tried to ignore her, finally he snapped and yelled at her to shut the f up. She elbowed me in the nose, rolled on top of him and hit him at least three times. He received a bloody nose and cut lip. Did not hit her back. He was very angry, got up and showed his brother and his friend the blood. He then went back into the bedroom and pulled a mirror off the wall, tv from the dresser, drawers from the dresser, smashed them with his foot. He end up going to jail for Property damage. Pleading not guilty going to trial.
The police did get pics of the damage, showed them the dried up blood around my nose and the cut on my lip. He said, "you probably deserved it". Any advice on how to get out of "DV for Property Damage".

 

[single317dad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? COLORADO

Any advice on how to get out of "DV for Property Damage".

Stop barging around the house smashing things, maybe?

I'm highly sympathetic to a male who has been assaulted by a female yet ends up on the short end of a DV charge, but that's not the whole story here. What you did was an entirely separate act -- in fact, your own separate episode of domestic violence.

My legal recommendation, aside form that already given, is threefold: 1) discuss this matter with your attorney and don't admit to any more crimes on the internet (or elsewhere); 2) get help for your anger problem (which will likely be part of your DV conviction or diversion); 3) end this toxic relationship.

Good luck to you.

 

[stealth2]

Why would you go back into the bedroom (and destroy stuff) instead of calling the cops when she hit you?

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? COLORADO


After a night of beer drinking and arguing, she went to bed about two hours before me. I thought she was asleep. I went to bed, she must have been laying there festering. She started in again. Calling me names yelling, cussing, I tried to ignore her, finally I snapped and yelled at her to shut the f up. She elbowed me in the nose, rolled on top of me and hit me at least three times. I received a bloody nose and cut lip. Did not hit her back. I was very angry, got up and showed my brother and his friend the blood. I then went back into the bedroom and pulled a mirror off the wall, tv from the dresser, drawers from the dresser, smashed them with my foot. I end up going to jail for Property damage. Pleading not guilty going to trial.
The police did get pics of the damage, showed them the dried up blood around my nose and the cut on my lip. He said, "you probably deserved it". Any advice on how to get out of "DV for Property Damage".

Did you explain things to the police as you have here, giving all the details about her attacking you and your subsequent actions in breaking the items?

 

[Ladyback1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? COLORADO


After a night of beer drinking and arguing, she went to bed about two hours before me. I thought she was asleep. I went to bed, she must have been laying there festering. She started in again. Calling me names yelling, cussing, I tried to ignore her, finally I snapped and yelled at her to shut the f up. She elbowed me in the nose, rolled on top of me and hit me at least three times. I received a bloody nose and cut lip. Did not hit her back. I was very angry, got up and showed my brother and his friend the blood. I then went back into the bedroom and pulled a mirror off the wall, tv from the dresser, drawers from the dresser, smashed them with my foot. I end up going to jail for Property damage. Pleading not guilty going to trial.
The police did get pics of the damage, showed them the dried up blood around my nose and the cut on my lip. He said, "you probably deserved it". Any advice on how to get out of "DV for Property Damage".

Here's my take on the situation: Your response was out of proportion to her hitting you. (However, I would also presume that the two of you have a very incendiary relationship to begin with--and then throw in a little alcohol...)
Per the above, she didn't follow you into the living room to continue the abuse. You were able to walk away.
You chose to re-enter the room and restart, if you will, the argument.
(and yes, unfortunately, male victims of abuse are sometimes held to a different standard than females).

And while both of you behaved badly, I can only imagine the rage that it took to destroy the furnishings of the bedroom.

You should be listening to and talking with your attorney.

 

[Zigner]

You should be listening to and talking with your attorney.

I suspect the OP already gave a free and full confession to the police.

 

[Ladyback1]

I suspect the OP already gave a free and full confession to the police.

well....that would make him less than smart, wouldn't it!?

(from the perspective of a former victim of domestic abuse---I was more terrified of the EX when he was raging and throwing/destroying things, than when he would just hit/shove/push me. When he was throwing things (in a rage) there was absolutely no telling what he'd throw, where'd it go or what he would do to destroy something. One time, he punched a door, left a hole. That was not good enough, and he ripped the door off the hinges and completely destroyed it. I didn't dare move, speak or even breathe too hard--he could have turned on me. Destroying possessions is a way that abusers intimidate their victims)

 

[idea0001]

yes zigner I told them she hit me, but I think she lied and said I hit her first. ladyback she was in no danger. and I do not see how destroying my personal property can compare with a bloody nose and cut lip. If she had had a, KNIFE handy who knows what might have happened. At least in all my anger I knew that I was NOT going to hit her.
stelth2, after I showed my bro and his friend, they laughed at me. that did not help.

shigle317, what is a diversion program

 

[single317dad]

shigle317, what is a diversion program

I have no idea if your court will offer one, or if you are eligible for one if offered, but it would be something along these lines:

http://jeffco.us/district-attorney/diversion-services/domestic-violence-or-drug-offender-program/

 

[stealth2]

yes zigner I told them she hit me, but I think she lied and said I hit her first. ladyback she was in no danger. and I do not see how destroying my personal property can compare with a bloody nose and cut lip. If she had had a, KNIFE handy who knows what might have happened. At least in all my anger I knew that I was NOT going to hit her.
stelth2, after I showed my bro and his friend, they laughed at me. that did not help.

shigle317, what is a diversion program

If you have never had to deal with someone in a rage, you have no idea how terrifying it can be. And your knowing you weren't goimg to hit her doesn't mean she knew that. While you were throwing stuff around.

 

[idea0001]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? COLORADO


After a night of beer drinking and arguing, she went to bed about two hours before him. He thought she was asleep. He went to bed, she must have been laying there festering. She started in again. Calling him names yelling, cussing, he tried to ignore her, finally he snapped and yelled at her to shut the f up. She elbowed me in the nose, rolled on top of him and hit him at least three times. He received a bloody nose and cut lip. Did not hit her back. He was very angry, got up and showed his brother and his friend the blood. He then went back into the bedroom and pulled a mirror off the wall, tv from the dresser, drawers from the dresser, smashed them with his foot. He end up going to jail for Property damage. Pleading not guilty going to trial.
The police did get pics of the damage, showed them the dried up blood around my nose and the cut on my lip. He said, "you probably deserved it". Any advice on how to get out of "DV for Property Damage".

I started this post as if it happened to me. Sorry, It happened to my son. Trial coming up soon. I now understand the situation better.

 

[single317dad]

I started this post as if it happened to me. Sorry, It happened to my son. Trial coming up soon. I now understand the situation better.

You posted confidential information related to his trial publicly? Glad you're not my mom.

 

[Ohiogal]

I started this post as if it happened to me. Sorry, It happened to my son. Trial coming up soon. I now understand the situation better.

So you lied to us. How pathetic. You are definitely not an upstanding individual. I see where your son gets it.

 

[Ohiogal]

You posted confidential information related to his trial publicly? Glad you're not my mom.

Or dad. But apparently truth doesn't matter. Because OP is a pathetic liar.

 

[stealth2]

I started this post as if it happened to me. Sorry, It happened to my son. Trial coming up soon. I now understand the situation better.

So, really - you have no idea what happenned because you were not there. The best thing you can do is (a) stop posting about his legal issues and (b) help him pay for a lawyer.