Legal options to uphold debt repayment plan

[ShyCat]

I understand that it will be difficult for the agreement to hold up in court and that I just have to hope she does the good moral thing and pays her portion. I don't see how asking her to pay back her debts is holding a gun to her head. She screwed me over, I said how could you do that to me after everything I did for you and she said she would pay her share. Just because someone doesn't have a legal obligation doesn't mean they can't do the right thing anyway.

You came here, to a legal advice board, for legal advice. So, we're done here, right?

 

[MovingOnAndUp]

You came here, to a legal advice board, for legal advice. So, we're done here, right?

Are you a tough guy in real life or do you just play one on the internet?

 

[Proserpina]

I understand that it will be difficult for the agreement to hold up in court and that I just have to hope she does the good moral thing and pays her portion. I don't see how asking her to pay back her debts is holding a gun to her head. She screwed me over, I said how could you do that to me after everything I did for you and she said she would pay her share. Just because someone doesn't have a legal obligation doesn't mean they can't do the right thing anyway.

The law doesn't work like that.

Let's review:

The reason I attempted to get back her portion of the debt in this manner was because the debt wasn't actually marital. We ran up the credit cards while living together and entered the debt settlement program before we were married. The debt settlement letter refers to the debt as marital. The divorce was written up with the help of legal zoom because there was no disagreement over anything divorce related. The marriage was only about 4 months, but the relationship was 4 years. I knew being the debt wasn't marital that I was not entitled to her paying me back legally. The cards were all in my name so I drafted up the agreement and hoped for the best. I give her a 50/50 chance of paying me back without going into the legal system.

Do you seriously not see what's wrong here?

You lied to the court - you told the court that the debts were marital. Clearly, they were not. I only hope she smartens up and realizes what you're trying to pull here.

 

[MovingOnAndUp]

Yes, I understand that. When we divorced we didn't use lawyers and didn't know all this legal speak. I was asking for further clarification on the first poster that had a long reply that seemed angry at the way this was handled. What I took offense to was people judging me when I was the person wronged here. I did everything right by this women, raised her child, helped her out of jams financially and emotionally and then she cheated on me and we cut ties. The reason I feel she owes her share was a moral one, not a legal one. My question was simply does the agreement hold water legally, in case her morals went out the window. Apparently it does not hold up legally, which is fine. But why are people calling me sleazy and saying what I did is equal to her cheating on me and blowing the best thing her daughter ever had? I understand the legality of the issue now, but you guys are making me out to be a bad guy here when I am so far from it. I was in love with this woman and for whatever reason she blew it and I'm stuck paying a debt settlement that we went into together (not legally), and all I want is for her to do the morally right thing and pay her share. She told me she intends to and I'm hoping she does. The reason I came here was to see if she decides she doesn't want to honor her promise (not legally) do I have any legal recourse. I know now that I don't. This woman completely screwed me over in many ways, not all mentioned here and I want her to do the right thing by me. It would be a no brainer for me to do the right thing in her shoes, I'm probably too nice and trusting a guy, but that's my fault I guess. The bottom line is I believe the white knight she met after we split up is telling her not to pay me, and part of that is because she told him many lies about me just like she told me about her ex before me. I don't understand why I am being called sleazy for trying to repair my life after an atomic bomb of a woman dropped on me.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, I understand that. When we divorced we didn't use lawyers and didn't know all this legal speak. I was asking for further clarification on the first poster that had a long reply that seemed angry at the way this was handled. What I took offense to was people judging me when I was the person wronged here. I did everything right by this women, raised her child, helped her out of jams financially and emotionally and then she cheated on me and we cut ties.

That's nice that you did that for her.

The reason I feel she owes her share was a moral one, not a legal one.

But you came to a legal forum...

My question was simply does the agreement hold water legally, in case her morals went out the window. Apparently it does not hold up legally, which is fine. But why are people calling me sleazy and saying what I did is equal to her cheating on me and blowing the best thing her daughter ever had? I understand the legality of the issue now, but you guys are making me out to be a bad guy here when I am so far from it.

Well, it's probably because your post basically came over as you wanting to blackmail her. She does A & B, otherwise you'll take her to court (for what, I do not know). That's pretty sleazy.

I was in love with this woman and for whatever reason she blew it and I'm stuck paying a debt settlement that we went into together (not legally), and all I want is for her to do the morally right thing and pay her share. She told me she intends to and I'm hoping she does. The reason I came here was to see if she decides she doesn't want to honor her promise (not legally) do I have any legal recourse. I know now that I don't. This woman completely screwed me over in many ways, not all mentioned here and I want her to do the right thing by me. It would be a no brainer for me to do the right thing in her shoes, I'm probably too nice and trusting a guy, but that's my fault I guess. The bottom line is I believe the white knight she met after we split up is telling her not to pay me, and part of that is because she told him many lies about me just like she told me about her ex before me. I don't understand why I am being called sleazy for trying to repair my life after an atomic bomb of a woman dropped on me.

Again though, you're wanting to punish her because she cheated on you - and that's not how it works.

 

[justalayman]

What exactly is fraudulent about what we did? I'm not following.

well, how about your own words:

Edit**************..The reason I attempted to get back her portion of the debt in this manner was because the debt wasn't actually marital.

yet you stated:

The debt settlement letter refers to the debt as marital.

so you have already committed a fraud upon the court. Best hope the court isn't given a second chance to realize it.

Given your statement of; it isn't the money; it's the principle, I suggest you walk away from this.


btw: are you legally qualified to provide preparations of tax filings?

 

[MovingOnAndUp]

Wow. I'm not trying to punish her. I'm paying over $1000 per month ongoing for these debts. If it was something I paid cash for out of my bank account I would be more inclined to chalk it up as a loss, but I pay this money every month to settle the debts, probably for a few years.

 

[MovingOnAndUp]

It's because we didn't know what we were doing!!! We had no money to hire a lawyer to prepare a document. I was in financial ruin when we divorced!

 

[justalayman]

It's because we didn't know what we were doing!!! We had no money to hire a lawyer to prepare a document. I was in financial ruin when we divorced!

what difference does it make? You knowingly claimed it was a marital debt when you knew it wasn't. Do you really need a lawyer to tell you not to lie to a court?

 

[MovingOnAndUp]

I came to a legal forum to see what my recourse was if she decided to not be a person of good morals and decide she didn't want to pay back this money that I layed out for her under the guise of a happy relationship. I don't deserve to be judged as sleazy for hoping my ex would take care of her end after blowing up the marriage.

 

[single317dad]

Wow. I'm not trying to punish her. I'm paying over $1000 per month ongoing for these debts. If it was something I paid cash for out of my bank account I would be more inclined to chalk it up as a loss, but I pay this money every month to settle the debts, probably for a few years.

You're getting off cheap. I'd have gladly paid $36k to have my ex out of my life.

 

[MovingOnAndUp]

We were paying back this debt as a married couple at the time of our split. The debts did not originate at the time we were married, but they were our debts at the time of our marriage. We filed and that's how it came out. We asked questions of the court clerks and they said they could not offer legal advice. The people that accepted our paperwork approved it. We were broke and had no money for council, what were we supposed to do? I was devestated by this split and didn't know what to do? She left it all on me to figure out because she was depressed and didn't care what was happening. I'm not a lawyer, I don't know!!!

 

[justalayman]

I came to a legal forum to see what my recourse was if she decided to not be a person of good morals and decide she didn't want to pay back this money that I layed out for her under the guise of a happy relationship. I don't deserve to be judged as sleazy for hoping my ex would take care of her end after blowing up the marriage.

so it's ok for you to bash her but when your morals are questioned you feel you are being wronged?

Seriously dude. You need to stand in front of a mirror for a long time and realize the person you are looking at has morals that rival the woman's that you are so upset about.


You might try living up to your username.. You surely are not moving on and given your morals, you will never move up.

 

[Proserpina]

I came to a legal forum to see what my recourse was if she decided to not be a person of good morals and decide she didn't want to pay back this money that I layed out for her under the guise of a happy relationship. I don't deserve to be judged as sleazy for hoping my ex would take care of her end after blowing up the marriage.

Oh for Pete's sake. Dial back the melodrama please. You known fine well that this wouldn't even be on the radar if you had stayed together. You're going to torture yourself if you don't let go.

Let it go. More importantly, let her go. She's renting too much space in your head, y'know?

 

[MovingOnAndUp]

Ok, that's you. I'm not going to sit there and let somebody get over on me without trying to make things fair. I don't know what your situation was, and I'm sorry you had to deal with it, but I believe in people taking responsibility for their actions. It was a simple question, stop judging me for something I didn't do.