My fiancé is being charged with domestic violence against me

[angelicdreamer]

My state is Michigan
My fiancé is being charged by the prosecutor for domestic violence against me we had an argument at a hospital it was not domestic violence is there anything I can do to stop this

 

[quincy]

My fiancé is being charged by the prosecutor for domestic violence against me we had an argument at a hospital it was not domestic violence is there anything I can do to stop this

Who was it who reported the argument to the police?

There is very little a "victim" of domestic violence can do or say to get charges dismissed - mostly because of the nature of the crime. It is often the case that a real victim will be intimidated into lying to support the abusive partner, for fear of additional abuse later.

I recommend that your fiancé have an attorney. The attorney can check out witness statements (if any) to see where there are weaknesses and where there could have been misunderstandings about what was going on, and the attorney will review any other evidence the prosecutor has that might be used to support the charge, and the attorney will work with your fiancé and the prosecutor to get the charge dismissed.

 

[angelicdreamer]

We were at the ER and they are the ones who called the police our nine-year-old daughter was there and the hospital told the police she was "scared to death" well of course she was we don't argue hardly ever and definitely not in front of our kids. We can't afford a lawyer so they gave him a court appointed lawyer but I have been calling lawyers and getting free consultations and legal advice.

 

[quincy]

We were at the ER and they are the ones who called the police our nine-year-old daughter was there and the hospital told the police she was "scared to death" well of course she was we don't argue hardly ever and definitely not in front of our kids. We can't afford a lawyer so they gave him a court appointed lawyer but I have been calling lawyers and getting free consultations and legal advice.

What brought you to the ER? Were you injured? Was your daughter injured? Did any doctor or nurse in the hospital talk to your daughter privately?

 

[angelicdreamer]

We were there for my fiancé he had something in his genital area and we had been arguing about me thinking he had been cheating. Only person that talked my daughter alone was the officer taking the report. I am bipolar and I have severe trust issues I've been hurt a lot in other relationships domestic violence included.

 

[davew128]

We were there for my fiancé he had something in his genital area and we had been arguing about me thinking he had been cheating.

Was this something a used prophylactic?

 

[angelicdreamer]

No it was a soar that turned out to be an infected ingrown hair can we stay on topic please

 

[Proserpina]

No it was a soar that turned out to be an infected ingrown hair can we stay on topic please

You cannot force the prosecutor to drop the case; enough victims recant or hide the facts that it's become more or less expected for it to happen.

Your fiance needs an attorney and respectfully, you need some counseling (perhaps as a couple).

Admittedly it sounds a little odd that the ER would be needed for an ingrown hair.

 

[angelicdreamer]

This isn't freeadvice on relationships it's freeadvice on legal matters but thanks

 

[angelicdreamer]

We know what he needs to do I'm trying to find out if there is anything I can do honestly I want to press harassment charges or something along those lines on the prosecutor they are ruining our life my fiancé has lost two jobs because of this matter we are behind on our bills getting eviction notices and shut off notices our children are upset because their dad is not at home is there anything I can do

 

[Proserpina]

We know what he needs to do I'm trying to find out if there is anything I can do honestly I want to press harassment charges or something along those lines on the prosecutor they are ruining our life my fiancé has lost two jobs because of this matter we are behind on our bills getting eviction notices and shut off notices our children are upset because their dad is not at home is there anything I can do

These are called consequences for our actions.

No, of course you can't press charges against the prosecutor who is, seriously, trying to protect those kids.

You're welcome.

 

[angelicdreamer]

These are called consequences for our actions.

No, of course you can't press charges against the prosecutor who is, seriously, trying to protect those kids.

You're welcome.

Personal opinions not need it thanks my children are just fine and there's nothing going on people have arguments anyone in a relationship marriage can understand that thanks for the help though

 

[Ohiogal]

Personal opinions not need it thanks my children are just fine and there's nothing going on people have arguments anyone in a relationship marriage can understand that thanks for the help though

Go hire an attorney. Quite frankly, you are missing the point.

 

[CdwJava]

We know what he needs to do

So, he has an attorney. Good for him.

But, is there any kind of an order preventing him from contacting you? If so, how can "we" be doing anything?

I'm trying to find out if there is anything I can do honestly I want to press harassment charges or something along those lines on the prosecutor they are ruining our life my fiancé has lost two jobs because of this matter we are behind on our bills getting eviction notices and shut off notices our children are upset because their dad is not at home is there anything I can do

The prosecutor has absolute discretion in the filing of criminal charges. You have no claim against the prosecutor at all.

It's very possible that the witness or even your child who was interviewed have made statements indicating that he laid hands on you either at the hospital or before. If he did, then you need to come to grips with that and I would strongly encourage you to get assistance. Your county likely has counseling services available, and there are also numerous resources for the victims of domestic violence including counseling and legal resources.

One thing to keep in mind is that if there is any violence (or simply frequent verbal put-downs and arguments) your children) will learn that this is normal behavior for men and women and will only perpetuate the cycle in their own relationships.

Only you know the truth of what happened or did not happen, but don't pretend that it's all okay if it is not. DV can be about more than merely physical assault, it can also involve controlling and verbally abusive behavior as well ... while not always actionable as a criminal matter, these things can be part of the pathology.

Good luck to you.

 

[cbg]

We know what he needs to do I'm trying to find out if there is anything I can do honestly I want to press harassment charges or something along those lines on the prosecutor they are ruining our life my fiancé has lost two jobs because of this matter we are behind on our bills getting eviction notices and shut off notices our children are upset because their dad is not at home is there anything I can do

Yes. There is something you can do.

You can help him find a lawyer. You can tell the truth when interviewed.

But if you mean, is there some action you can take that will force the prosecutor to drop the charges, then No. There is nothing you can do.