Coach showering in front of High School students during athletics?

[LdiJ]

Is there the same concern with 18 year old players showering with the younger players? Maybe all those players are exhibitionists. How is the locker room set up? Is it one big shower or individual showers? Do the individual showers have curtains? If there are curtains and they are not being used, then I could see your point but otherwise, it may be a whole lot of Who Shot John.

Most locker rooms are set up with one big communal shower and maybe a couple of individuals with curtains...and most of the time there is another place for adults to shower.

I find this a little "off" but not totally off. I suspect that the complaint caused the principal to tell the coach to stop doing it.

Yea, the coach could be nefarious, but its more likely that the coach was trying to be part of the whole team thing, without thinking about perceptions...the younger the coach, the more likely that it was that whole team thing.

 

[single317dad]

Oh, the irony and hypocrisy of vilifying a coach (a trusted member of school staff who has presumably passed a background check) who showers with his team while we send our sons and daughters out into the wide world (in amongst every stranger and potential creep) wearing but a few tiny scraps of material. Quite recently in human history, it was common for large and small gatherings of mixed sexes to be partially or completely unclothed. Religion fixed that "problem" for us, and now anyone who would be unclothed in any but the most restricted scenarios must be a sexual predator or a nutcase (thankfully bikini tops and Daisy Dukes in Walmart are still perfectly acceptable). While we've maintained some basic (though constantly regressing) standards for clothing requirements under the guise of "OMG we will all be raped and molested if my child sees a nipple", we haven't really put a significant dent in the actual crimes of rape and molestation. In fact, it can be (and has been) argued that the forced body shaming and repression of curiosity leads to even more violent sexual crime.

By all means, though, label the coach a perv. I'd be more concerned with someone who spent significant time alone with a single child clothed than one who spent a few minutes a day with a locker room full of kids nude.

 

[AnotherTenant]

Here's what bothers me about this situation: there's a huge difference, in emotional terms, between showering with your peers and showering with someone who is in a position of power over you. Especially as a child.

 

[ajkroy]

Singledad, I normally agree with you. However, this time you are waaaaay off the mark. My personal feelings have nothing to do with the way I conduct myself at school. For example, I might enjoy a beer or two at home. But would I ever mention that to the kids? Or, worse, have one with them around? I took 20 senior students to a Red Sox game last week -- I drank only Coca Cola, thank you very much. Yet I am over 21 and it is legal for me to imbibe in Massachusetts. But I didn't.

I could be a nudist in my private life, but I would not conduct myself that way in school. It's as Ladyback said: the appearance of impropriety. And if the coach is not concerned about that in this day and age, then he is either unbelievably naive, careless, or a predator. He does not understand boundaries at all. Regardless, he could be accused of something whether he does it or not. That's the thing that scares most teachers these days. Why isn't he concerned that every student he has can describe his penis? It wouldn't take much for a student to SAY something happened, and how many people would be quick to believe "Well, he gets naked with these kids daily...it isn't that much of a stretch to think that he could do other things, too..."

I spend a lot of time with my students, always with others around or in public. I guarantee you that my students cannot describe my anatomy beyond what they can guess from my scrubs.

 

[xylene]

Sexual abuse is not showering in a locker room. Maybe the son should not shower after practice.

Ignoring questionable showering by a coach is why Joe Paterno died a broken and ignominious pariah, but you're the Guardian ad Litem .

 

[single317dad]

Ignoring questionable showering by a coach is why Joe Paterno died a broken and ignominious pariah

That is not an accurate representation of what was seen happening in the shower. I won't go into detail on this forum, but a simple shower it was not. That you're associating this coach whom you know absolutely nothing about with one of the most famous sexual predators of our time is representative of the broader problem with our society.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ignoring questionable showering by a coach is why Joe Paterno died a broken and ignominious pariah, but you're the Guardian ad Litem .

I don't see it as questionable. No one is saying the coach has showered and played hide the soap with students or anything of that nature. Nor is he hugging or touching the students while showering.

 

[stealth2]

Might not be illegal, but seems a bit (ok A LOT) creepy to me...

and FYI, it may be done with a sexual connotation as some people are true exhibitionists. Furthermore, how do we or those kids or the parent know that the coach isn't "excited" by the young men??

I think, I would be at the next school board meeting.

I suspect HS boys would know if the coach was "excited".

 

[stealth2]

The devils in the details, IMO. Is this after PE class, or after a team practice? How old is the coach?

I know that when I was in HS, no one showered after PE. My kids had the same experience. My one child is an athlete, and in HS, none of the girls showered except after an Away game only. Then, they ALL shower - coaches included. She says it's not weird - they're all a team, players and coaches alike. But maybe girls aren't so weirded out by nudity.

 

[davew128]

What happened to the notion that children are supposed to be believed about sexual abuse?

Because nude equals lewd right?

 

[justalayman]

She said her son is creeped out by it.

What happened to the notion that children are supposed to be believed about sexual abuse?

where was there ANY mention of sexual abuse. OP said her child is creeped out. Being creeped out is nothing more than being uncomfortable. Unless there is a reason the child should be creeped out, I suggest it is simply a matter of the home teachings conflicting with the apparently legal activity.





but I do have a question; why is the coach showering? They typically do not engage in the physical activities the student does.

Personally, I would not shower in front of the kids. To me it is a matter of an established hierarchy being ignored. It changes the way a coach is perceived and, to me, it diminishes the level of respect the coach can demand once everybody has seen him naked.

 

[RRevak]

I'm not sure if I have the ages right. Are we talking about a HS freshman or sophomore (14-15yrs old) or a junior or senior? How old is the coach?

 

[CdwJava]

Just wait until students are allowed to choose their own gender at shower time.

TD

Uh ... <raises hand> ... California?

 

[stealth2]

Just wait until students are allowed to choose their own gender at shower time.

TD

I've said it before and will say it again - a transgender person is going to look for MORE privacy, rather than less. Believe me on this.

 

[TigerD]

I've said it before and will say it again - a transgender person is going to look for MORE privacy, rather than less. Believe me on this.

I strongly doubt the issue will come from actual transgendered people. More like typical high school pervs.

TD