Can he just show back up and move in?

[needdivorce]

Don't forget to petition the court for a restraining order, if it's not issued automatically as part of the criminal proceedings.

Coming from a violent upbringing, I actually see the son showing up and fighting as a negative. Adult problems should be handled by adults (and the police as necessary). As someone who felt I had to assault my stepfather more than once, that didn't do me any favors later in life. You're lucky your son was not arrested as well. Food for thought.

Thank you for this advice. My son and I went to the courthouse this morning and the judge gave us a temporary order. He did include my daughter on it too. We go to court on Wednesday of next week to appear in the courtroom.

How could my son get in trouble for getting him off me and preventing further injury? The judge told him he did what he should have done to help me. This is the first time something like this has ever happened to me.

Not2cleverred,

My son and my dad replaced the door later that night, but it was not cheap. I will look into making him reimburse my dad for the cost of the door and materials to fix it.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for this advice. My son and I went to the courthouse this morning and the judge gave us a temporary order. He did include my daughter on it too. We go to court on Wednesday of next week to appear in the courtroom.

How could my son get in trouble for getting him off me and preventing further injury? The judge told him he did what he should have done to help me. This is the first time something like this has ever happened to me.

Not2cleverred,

My son and my dad replaced the door later that night, but it was not cheap. I will look into making him reimburse my dad for the cost of the door and materials to fix it.

Your son if obviously not in any trouble about this. What people were warning you about is that sometimes the police simply arrest everyone involved in domestic violence, even those who were just trying to defend themselves or others. I do not see how your son could have done anything differently than he did. There virtually isn't a soul on the face of the earth who would not go to the physical defense of their mother.

Don't worry about your son. Just worry about doing what needs to be done to make you and your family safe.

 

[needdivorce]

This man is getting on my nerves!

He went to the courthouse and saw a different judge from the one that issued a TPO on behalf of me and my kids and got one that protected him. He stated we were married and it was a case of domestic violence when my son "attacked" him for no reason. According to the paperwork, he has been given use of the house. I called the courthouse and talked to the judge that issued my order and he wants my son and I to come in this afternoon. I have to bring the divorce paperwork as well as the police report to get it so that my kids and I do not have to leave the home. It is very crazy here. This man will go to any lengths to get inside this house! I don't know what to do anymore.

I want to add that my house sits on my parents' property and my dad has adamantly told the police that he is not allowed on the property. Period.

 

[LdiJ]

He went to the courthouse and saw a different judge from the one that issued a TPO on behalf of me and my kids and got one that protected him. He stated we were married and it was a case of domestic violence when my son "attacked" him for no reason. According to the paperwork, he has been given use of the house. I called the courthouse and talked to the judge that issued my order and he wants my son and I to come in this afternoon. I have to bring the divorce paperwork as well as the police report to get it so that my kids and I do not have to leave the home. It is very crazy here. This man will go to any lengths to get inside this house! I don't know what to do anymore.

I want to add that my house sits on my parents' property and my dad has adamantly told the police that he is not allowed on the property. Period.

Please let us know what happens.

 

[single317dad]

He went to the courthouse and saw a different judge from the one that issued a TPO on behalf of me and my kids and got one that protected him. He stated we were married and it was a case of domestic violence when my son "attacked" him for no reason. According to the paperwork, he has been given use of the house. I called the courthouse and talked to the judge that issued my order and he wants my son and I to come in this afternoon. I have to bring the divorce paperwork as well as the police report to get it so that my kids and I do not have to leave the home. It is very crazy here. This man will go to any lengths to get inside this house! I don't know what to do anymore.

I want to add that my house sits on my parents' property and my dad has adamantly told the police that he is not allowed on the property. Period.

The debacle you have now is one reason children should stay out of their parents' affairs. That ship has sailed now, so on to the matter at hand.

Your husband has probably lied to the court, and most probably misled the court, to get what he wanted. Your father has no say in the matter yet; if the judge decided this was the marital residence (after being misled or lied to) and gave your ex possession, then the property owner needs to bring a separate action to remove him.

Usually, in standard TPO forms, there's a question about related cases in other courts. If your ex had answered that question honestly (assuming it exists), this situation may have been avoided. Either way, judges don't like being lied to or misled.

You have two courts which have issued conflicting orders. Today's hearing will be of great importance to you. Good luck.

 

[needdivorce]

We took the divorce papers, a copy of the police report on the incident and copies of the papers that were served. The judge looked at everything and then called the officer listed on the report. He asked him what exactly was going on when he got there. Once the judge heard what the officer had to say, he then called the judge who signed the orders. He told the other judge that there was a TPO order in place already preventing my ex from coming to my house or having contact with us. He told what the officer had told him as well as told him the divorce was final. He said his opinion was that my ex had lied to him about everything other than my son fighting him and told him why my son was involved. He said in his opinion that the original order needed to remain in place and the second order dropped. He said I should have possession of the home since he had been gone for over a year and a half and it was in my name only. The judges agreed to drop the second order and leave the first one in place. The finalities of everything will be finalized on Wednesday at the hearing.


Singledad, I feel like you are trying to make my son look like a criminal. I am in no way able to fight off anyone. I have had numerous strokes and also had several brain operations. My son was at his home, and helping his mother who was being attacked by someone who, until a few weeks ago had disappeared and had no reason to be at our home. Had my son, who is an adult, not come to my aid, the 7 minutes it took for the sheriff's dept to get here could have done serious damage to me. I don't feel like my son is in trouble for this. There have been no charges brought up against him either.

The line on his form about other cases involved in this issue was left blank. The order he filed was after he was released from jail on bond. He was served in jail the order from me and my kids.

 

[nocontact]

We took the divorce papers, a copy of the police report on the incident and copies of the papers that were served. The judge looked at everything and then called the officer listed on the report. He asked him what exactly was going on when he got there. Once the judge heard what the officer had to say, he then called the judge who signed the orders. He told the other judge that there was a TPO order in place already preventing my ex from coming to my house or having contact with us. He told what the officer had told him as well as told him the divorce was final. He said his opinion was that my ex had lied to him about everything other than my son fighting him and told him why my son was involved. He said in his opinion that the original order needed to remain in place and the second order dropped. He said I should have possession of the home since he had been gone for over a year and a half and it was in my name only. The judges agreed to drop the second order and leave the first one in place. The finalities of everything will be finalized on Wednesday at the hearing.


Singledad, I feel like you are trying to make my son look like a criminal. I am in no way able to fight off anyone. I have had numerous strokes and also had several brain operations. My son was at his home, and helping his mother who was being attacked by someone who, until a few weeks ago had disappeared and had no reason to be at our home. Had my son, who is an adult, not come to my aid, the 7 minutes it took for the sheriff's dept to get here could have done serious damage to me. I don't feel like my son is in trouble for this. There have been no charges brought up against him either.

The line on his form about other cases involved in this issue was left blank. The order he filed was after he was released from jail on bond. He was served in jail the order from me and my kids.

Glad things worked out for you in the end.

I don't think Singledad was trying to make your son look like a criminal. He was just stating the problems that can arise from having the children involved in these heated issues. It just complicates things more. That said, your son was just trying to protect his mother (you) and when all the information is presented, the judge would see the "bigger picture." But again, it just brings on more court issues before being resolved.

 

[LdiJ]

We took the divorce papers, a copy of the police report on the incident and copies of the papers that were served. The judge looked at everything and then called the officer listed on the report. He asked him what exactly was going on when he got there. Once the judge heard what the officer had to say, he then called the judge who signed the orders. He told the other judge that there was a TPO order in place already preventing my ex from coming to my house or having contact with us. He told what the officer had told him as well as told him the divorce was final. He said his opinion was that my ex had lied to him about everything other than my son fighting him and told him why my son was involved. He said in his opinion that the original order needed to remain in place and the second order dropped. He said I should have possession of the home since he had been gone for over a year and a half and it was in my name only. The judges agreed to drop the second order and leave the first one in place. The finalities of everything will be finalized on Wednesday at the hearing.


Singledad, I feel like you are trying to make my son look like a criminal. I am in no way able to fight off anyone. I have had numerous strokes and also had several brain operations. My son was at his home, and helping his mother who was being attacked by someone who, until a few weeks ago had disappeared and had no reason to be at our home. Had my son, who is an adult, not come to my aid, the 7 minutes it took for the sheriff's dept to get here could have done serious damage to me. I don't feel like my son is in trouble for this. There have been no charges brought up against him either.

The line on his form about other cases involved in this issue was left blank. The order he filed was after he was released from jail on bond. He was served in jail the order from me and my kids.

While I do think that singledad was being a little to focused, on the whole "not getting the children involved, and your son could have been arrested bit", since your ex could have done serious damage to you, I do not believe that he was intentionally downplaying the severity of the situation or the validity of your son's actions.

I think that he simply focused on different issues than others did, and that made him come across wrongly to you.

 

[single317dad]

Singledad, I feel like you are trying to make my son look like a criminal. I am in no way able to fight off anyone. I have had numerous strokes and also had several brain operations. My son was at his home, and helping his mother who was being attacked by someone who, until a few weeks ago had disappeared and had no reason to be at our home. Had my son, who is an adult, not come to my aid, the 7 minutes it took for the sheriff's dept to get here could have done serious damage to me. I don't feel like my son is in trouble for this. There have been no charges brought up against him either.

I never said he was a criminal; I said he's lucky he wasn't arrested (or worse). People who aren't criminals are arrested every single day, and left to defend against charges.

Morally, I'm all for a good whack in the head for an aggressor. Legally, that attitude is troublesome, and we're here to provide legal advice.

What you had was an enraged son (your words) who may easily have brought a gun to the fight (again, your words). What was a simple property dispute in the initial post could have escalated to a murder charge that, while defensible, would have resulted in great expense and loss of freedom for some length of time.

I'm glad he was able to defend you. I believe he did the honorable thing.

 

[LdiJ]

I never said he was a criminal; I said he's lucky he wasn't arrested (or worse). People who aren't criminals are arrested every single day, and left to defend against charges.

Morally, I'm all for a good whack in the head for an aggressor. Legally, that attitude is troublesome, and we're here to provide legal advice.

What you had was an enraged son (your words) who may easily have brought a gun to the fight (again, your words). What was a simple property dispute in the initial post could have escalated to a murder charge that, while defensible, would have resulted in great expense and loss of freedom for some length of time.

I'm glad he was able to defend you. I believe he did the honorable thing.

The only thing that I think you are kind of ignoring is the fact that if her son had not intervened, SHE might be dead.

 

[TigerD]

Coming from a violent upbringing, I actually see the son showing up and fighting as a negative. Adult problems should be handled by adults (and the police as necessary). As someone who felt I had to assault my stepfather more than once, that didn't do me any favors later in life. You're lucky your son was not arrested as well. Food for thought.

Yeah, my stepfather beat me with a 2x4 when I was a kid. When I was in high school, I threw him through a framed wall in our house - knocking out 4 studs and destroying the drywall. He broke several bones - it was the last time he ever raised a hand to me.

I'm proud of the OP's son. It takes a lot of courage to stand up to an adult in a situation like that.

OP: I'm glad everyone is okay. Now go to the courthouse and file for an order of protection. The clerks will help you. And if you don't have one - get a firearm and train to use it. Because, after all, an order of protection is just a piece of paper.

TD

 

[stealth2]

Thing is, there is a fine line between acting in defense - getting Dad off Mom - and taking it too far (beyond the scope of defending self or other), such as whooping Dad senseless/shooting him/etc. That is what I think SD was getting at.