is she in contempt?

[TheGeekess]

they are fine. they are happy when they are with me, too. don't they deserve time with their father? isn't THAT in their best interest?

she's not an awful person. i never said she was.

You missed that chance. Get over it.

 

[carsonneedshelp]

It's not about your happiness at all.

So now you get two weekends a month. What makes you say Mom is screwing you over? She gets child support - is this a reason why you think she's screwing you?

And you have a very recent court order - why didn't you address this in court? Why do you think the court order and custody should be changed?

oops, i made a mistake, i meant we've been officially divorced since dec '13. but last court order was earlier this year

she has a secure job and a home. i'm barely making ends meet. now i'm stuck in dead end jobs just trying to pay her. how is it i have to pay ridiculous amount in child support?

i did address it. now i get 6 visits/month (8 if there's 5th weekend). i'm reduced to being an outsider looking in for my own kids.

it's in the kids best interests to have their father in their lives.

 

[Silverplum]

oops, i made a mistake, i meant we've been officially divorced since dec '13. but last court order was earlier this year

she has a secure job and a home. i'm barely making ends meet. now i'm stuck in dead end jobs just trying to pay her. how is it i have to pay ridiculous amount in child support?

i did address it. now i get 6 visits/month (8 if there's 5th weekend). i'm reduced to being an outsider looking in for my own kids.

it's in the kids best interests to have their father in their lives.

You're complaining about child support, but that's done by formula. There's nothing we can do for you there.

You're also unhappy that you are the non-custodial parent (NCP) and there's nothing we can do for you there, either. You ARE in their lives. You DO have an enforceable schedule to see them.

 

[carsonneedshelp]

Why didn't you just ask for more time initially? Was there a reason you weren't given more custody and if so has that reason changed?

i wasn't living in the area but now i'm back, so i took her to court.

but they're making all these accusations and fighting me. my lawyer said standard would be every other weekend and a weeknight. this way, at least i get to see them almost every weekend but no overnights. i'm trying to find a way to get every weekend with overnights.

judge denied my request for joint legal. i want to be able to make decisions about my own kids.

 

[Ladyback1]

oops, i made a mistake, i meant we've been officially divorced since dec '13. but last court order was earlier this year

she has a secure job and a home. i'm barely making ends meet. now i'm stuck in dead end jobs just trying to pay her. how is it i have to pay ridiculous amount in child support?

i did address it. now i get 6 visits/month (8 if there's 5th weekend). i'm reduced to being an outsider looking in for my own kids.

it's in the kids best interests to have their father in their lives.

You are in their lives!

Child support is calculated using a formula (states use different formulas).
What did you do before the divorce? I find it hard to believe that suddenly after the divorce you would find yourself limited to "dead end" jobs.
Oh, and FYI? You aren't paying "her", you are reimbursing her for what she has to pay to care and provide for the children! She pays out of pocket for EVERYTHING (mortgage/rent, utilities, food, etc.). The least you can do is reimburse her for a portion of the costs.

This is all about the money. This is NOT about the children.
If you cared what was in the best interest of the children, you would quit whining, put on your big boy underoos and enjoy the time you have your children.

 

[LdiJ]

i wasn't living in the area but now i'm back, so i took her to court.

but they're making all these accusations and fighting me. my lawyer said standard would be every other weekend and a weeknight. this way, at least i get to see them almost every weekend but no overnights. i'm trying to find a way to get every weekend with overnights.

judge denied my request for joint legal. i want to be able to make decisions about my own kids.

You will NEVER get every weekend. No matter what happens, you will never get that.

 

[Proserpina]

You will NEVER get every weekend. No matter what happens, you will never get that.

I don't think he wants to use a rational argument.

He's convinced he's screwed because he's the NCP, and has to pay child support, and that means Mom screwed him.

 

[carsonneedshelp]

You are in their lives!

Child support is calculated using a formula (states use different formulas).
What did you do before the divorce? I find it hard to believe that suddenly after the divorce you would find yourself limited to "dead end" jobs.
Oh, and FYI? You aren't paying "her", you are reimbursing her for what she has to pay to care and provide for the children! She pays out of pocket for EVERYTHING (mortgage/rent, utilities, food, etc.). The least you can do is reimburse her for a portion of the costs.

This is all about the money. This is NOT about the children.
If you cared what was in the best interest of the children, you would quit whining, put on your big boy underoos and enjoy the time you have your children.

according to her and her lawyer, they are "already giving me a break." how is it a break when more than half my paycheck goes to her? what am i supposed to live on? i can't raise the kids i have. i can't have afford another relationship or children. how can the state formula be so messed up?

if the kids need clothes, i can get them clothes. can i just give her food and clothes for the kids instead of the child support? i'm not saying she shouldn't get something. i would never deny my kids or not take care of them. i'm just saying the government shouldn't make me pay as much when she can afford to do it more.

i was trying to find myself and my career path when she decided she didn't want to be with me anymore. i didn't like any of the jobs i had before. i didn't go to college to be some errand boy or someones b**** or to pick up after people. i have a degree from a u.c., so it should get me something reasonable.

for your information, we DO have fun. we go to the park. we go to church. we eat together. i'm asking for more time, not less time.

 

[Proserpina]

oops, i made a mistake, i meant we've been officially divorced since dec '13. but last court order was earlier this year

she has a secure job and a home. i'm barely making ends meet. now i'm stuck in dead end jobs just trying to pay her. how is it i have to pay ridiculous amount in child support?

i did address it. now i get 6 visits/month (8 if there's 5th weekend). i'm reduced to being an outsider looking in for my own kids.

it's in the kids best interests to have their father in their lives.

You're in their lives.

When a family splits, this is what happens.

You're all mad at Mom? Change the record. She got custody - when you didn't live in the area to begin with - and child support. I STILL fail to see how she "screwed" you.

Unless you somehow think that supporting your children equates to being screwed, in which case you probably shouldn't have been in a position where either of you was screwing the other. So to speak. Then you wouldn't have to pay for said screwing.

 

[Silverplum]

according to her and her lawyer, they are "already giving me a break." how is it a break when more than half my paycheck goes to her? what am i supposed to live on? i can't raise the kids i have. i can't have afford another relationship or children. how can the state formula be so messed up?

if the kids need clothes, i can get them clothes. can i just give her food and clothes for the kids instead of the child support? i'm not saying she shouldn't get something. i would never deny my kids or not take care of them. i'm just saying the government shouldn't make me pay as much when she can afford to do it more.

i was trying to find myself and my career path when she decided she didn't want to be with me anymore. i didn't like any of the jobs i had before. i didn't go to college to be some errand boy or someones b**** or to pick up after people. i have a degree from a u.c., so it should get me something reasonable.

for your information, we DO have fun. we go to the park. we go to church. we eat together. i'm asking for more time, not less time.

I, for one, am tired of your whining.

Good day.

 

[Ladyback1]

according to her and her lawyer, they are "already giving me a break." how is it a break when more than half my paycheck goes to her? what am i supposed to live on? i can't raise the kids i have. i can't have afford another relationship or children. how can the state formula be so messed up?

if the kids need clothes, i can get them clothes. can i just give her food and clothes for the kids instead of the child support? i'm not saying she shouldn't get something. i would never deny my kids or not take care of them. i'm just saying the government shouldn't make me pay as much when she can afford to do it more.

i was trying to find myself and my career path when she decided she didn't want to be with me anymore. i didn't like any of the jobs i had before. i didn't go to college to be some errand boy or someones b**** or to pick up after people. i have a degree from a u.c., so it should get me something reasonable.

for your information, we DO have fun. we go to the park. we go to church. we eat together. i'm asking for more time, not less time.

You are not getting it....
"find yourself and career path" what a load of crap!

 

[Proserpina]

according to her and her lawyer, they are "already giving me a break." how is it a break when more than half my paycheck goes to her? what am i supposed to live on? i can't raise the kids i have. i can't have afford another relationship or children. how can the state formula be so messed up?

if the kids need clothes, i can get them clothes. can i just give her food and clothes for the kids instead of the child support? i'm not saying she shouldn't get something. i would never deny my kids or not take care of them. i'm just saying the government shouldn't make me pay as much when she can afford to do it more.

i was trying to find myself and my career path when she decided she didn't want to be with me anymore. i didn't like any of the jobs i had before. i didn't go to college to be some errand boy or someones b**** or to pick up after people. i have a degree from a u.c., so it should get me something reasonable.

for your information, we DO have fun. we go to the park. we go to church. we eat together. i'm asking for more time, not less time.

You made choices. Every one of those choices has consequences, both good and bad. Sometimes we have to deal with the choices - sometimes we don't have the luxury of "I didn't like any of the jobs I had before". You do what you do to support your kids - not because you think certain jobs are beneath you.

Ahhh... you have other mouths to feed.

 

[carsonneedshelp]

You will NEVER get every weekend. No matter what happens, you will never get that.

look. her other ex got every weekend! every single weekend with overnights. the only time she had the kids for weekends was for special family occasions and a couple of weeks for vacation. he didn't even love her. why should i not get the same?

 

[cbg]

The bottom line is that being late ONCE, when there were extenuating circumstances and you were kept apprised of her progress, is NOT being in contempt. Which is what you wanted to know.

 

[carsonneedshelp]

You made choices. Every one of those choices has consequences, both good and bad. Sometimes we have to deal with the choices - sometimes we don't have the luxury of "I didn't like any of the jobs I had before". You do what you do to support your kids - not because you think certain jobs are beneath you.

Ahhh... you have other mouths to feed.

i don't have other mouths to feed. i'm saying i can't even afford feeding other mouths. i can't afford another child, where i can be an active parent day in/day out, make decisions for, and have that nuclear family i always dreamed of. that is how she screwed me over. she robbed me of that.

i thought y'all said you aren't pro-mom but here you are, helping her instead. i'm just trying to find more time with my kids.