Is it bigamy?

[feistyman83]

Hi my name is shy I'm from Washington and I have questions about bigamy. I was married for 4 years then things started to go bad between my wife and I and we had a two year old son As well. we ended up separating after an argument and the day we separated she met another guy at the bar, a soldier in the army A sergeant. It wasn't long after their meeting that he had proposed to her somewhere around the middle of the second month of them dating. she then told me she wanted a divorce. I was trying to get her back I didn't want to lose my wife I only wanted to be married to one person are vows were for eternity not till death do us part. But after my attempt at trying to get her back flowers, gifts, counseling to fix the problems that I may have brought to our marriage myself. she still wouldn't budge. so being the guy I am, which is the guy that just wants her to be happy, I gave in and gave her the divorce papers. I got a lawyer and petitioned the divorce, she wanted to do the simple online divorce but I know that were both naive so I got a lawyer to make sure everything was done right. So we filed our divorce split our belongings everybody was happy and got what they wanted. And we decided that 50 50 custody was the right thing to do for our son to have both parents would be better than not. So after a while they had gotten married now this is 5 years later and she's telling me that her divorce with me finalized 3 days after her marriage with him. now I'm not hundred percent sure if that's accurate I've been trying to find the date that our divorce finalized, but it's nowhere on my divorce papers for some reason. and now I've been apart of my sons life this entire time since he was born my son is my world. However there has been times that my sons mom and her husband didn't like my roommates and what they were doing at the house nothing illegal but they wouldn't let me have him over night, even though his mom had, the last time he stayed the night, put him to sleep there. And again when I lived with a family and Guy his wife and their son and daughter friends of mine for a long time. She wouldn't let me have them on the weekdays, because of his schooling she said we have to do what's best for him and I told her I would be able to get him to school that's not a problem she didn't think I would I only have weekdays off so is really hard for me to spend time with him that was a problem for me. now she's married to a soldier like I said, and he is getting orders to move to Korea for one year for training if he goes alone and then he'll come back to Colorado not Washington meaning they'll move to Colorado to wait for him and then we'll be there for 3 years now if his family goes with him to Korea they stay there for 2 years and then move to some other state when they get back this all starts September 2016. There is two patients in our divorce paperwork saying that he has to stay in the school districts in the surrounding cities but I want to know if what they did with the marriage thing is it illegal if he really married her three days aunt before divorce finalized is that big me and could I stop them from taking my son from his home. She asked me what's wrong all the time she doesn't understand that my family is my son and she's taking my family away from me I did not give birth to a military kid why do I have to suffer?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

The answer is yes, it is bigamy. Now look at the whole picture from a perspective of what is best for your son. If mom is charged with bigamy, dad2 will be subject to the UCMJ for knowingly providing benefits to a non legal spouse. He will likely go to prison, lose everything paying back Uncle Sugar and your wife will likely get a slap on the wrist. Do you really want to destroy your sons entire future over 3 days and an overseas assignment? It is not your wife who will "really suffer" it is her husband and your son.

 

[feistyman83]

I'm not the type of person that would ruin another person's life which is why I didn't report into the military board when he was pursuing my wife in the first place committing adultery. And basically not follow the parenting plan and his mom and I are still best friends we talk everyday we spend time together everyday and yes her husband hates it but she instigates most of it and we've been really cordial since the divorce and and we are basically in both of our words best friends we have problems here in there but she confides in me about them he's not the greatest person to her she's already got a DV charge against another girl which he lied to her about and we just recently found that out on a background search on top of that he drinks a lot while she takes care of everything and he plays video games all day after work what should my son is now addicted to video games and I hate it all last summer my son would ask to go out and he would put them in front of a video game at the age of 5 and I was playing destiny and other games that I don't believe are fit for a 6 year old. And I would go over there and take my son out on his bike and I would take the dude bike and ride bikes with my son at their house just to hang out with him a little bit on their time to I don't want to lose my son he's going to be gone for years I'm missing all the important time of his life if that guy would have been a man and stepped out of the way of my marriage and we divorced without him in the way then fine but the fact that he moved in with her after a weekend at her grandma's house when she move to and married her before we were even divorced and he's supposed to be protecting my country I don't respect that at all.

 

[feistyman83]

And how is it that my son will suffer if they get punished for their crimes and he stays with me, but won't suffer if they take him to some other state or country till he's no longer in the military?

 

[I'mTheFather]

You have a lot of problems going on here. At least it seems that way. It's a little difficult to interpret your posts.

First, you don't even know if she remarried before the divorce was final.
Second, if you did nothing to enforce the custody order, then that's a moot point.
Third, if it comes down to admitting what she told you and defending her husband, she'll defend her husband.

Your only recourse here is to argue against the move. I wouldn't hold out much hope since it sounds as though you haven't exercised all your visitation, nor done anything to enforce it.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

You seem to think a judge will somehow consider this a change in status quo for the child and grant you custody. That is likely the least possible outcome. If you do not report it, a court will likely only arrange a visitation schedule long distance. If you destroy their lives, they will likely still be moving a distance away. She is unlikely to get jail time or enough for you to get custody. what is clear is that you will destroy the entire financial base your child is living under. The judge is not going to pat you on the back and say Atta Boy for doing so.

 

[Proserpina]

The climate in Washington state (I don't mean "rainy", however true that may be) is pro-relocation. This means that in order to successfully challenge a relocation, the burden is on the non-relocating party - Dad, that's you - to show that relocation is absolutely not in the best interest of your child.

But before we go down that path, exactly how often have you seen your child during say ... the past year? Is it in line with your actual custody agreement, or not?

 

[stealth2]

Also, consider how your living situation is conducive to the child. Not saying that it precludes your having custody, but....is it really in his best interests to be living with strangers?

 

[feistyman83]

So first let me start off by thanking all of you for your info I sincerely appreciate it. So first off, currently I am not up to date on my visitations, I will admit I did have a minor setback and that was my job, I was with green Mountain Coffee roasters for a few years and they had a drastic change in schedule. They went to 12 hour days from 5pm-5am was my shift and working close to 6 days a week because of the mandatory overtime and I was making big steps there. However that kind of schedule really kills my personal life. I'd have him pretty much 85% of the time and I was taking care of my late uncle as well... wasn't easy still to this day haven't coped with the divorce and that just made life harder back then. So now I have him 5-6 days a week I am in a way better situation and moved an hour away from work to be closer to him and spend more time on him. Now I've not only been taking him but I watch their baby as well and the mom even comes over here to stay when they are fighting wicj seems to be every week almost (I promise our friebd ship is strictly plutonium nothing has happened I just let her stay here because I have a room for the boys and it's safe) and my roommate is an elementary school teacher and also teaches Bible study at the church behind my house... he's a really great guy for a child my sons age to be around. Now another thing per my divorce papers I had it written down and signed by her and by the judge that she has to not only present me with written notification that I then have to sign but also that my son is to remain in the Puyallup summer or Bonney Lake school system... I do hag 50% custody and no one is keeping track of nights he's been over it'll all be word of mouth. And lastly one of the main reasons I don't want this to happen I'm a good person I'm not trying to ruin anybody's life special offers and especially now that sounds and especially not there be I love him just as much as if you were my own has spent a lot of time with him and have russian girl this year but he's been alive and he's amazing and cool and sweet and awesome. And his mother and I are best friends part of something that hurts me is that she's leaving to I'm losing my son and my best friend my best friend's child who I've grown attached to my world getting ripped apart from me it sucks what I don't want to have happen is that they go to another state in there disarray differen arguing and he's not going to have anyone to feel safe because they have no friends of family there his family's in Hawaii her family is all here in my family is here and if they go to another country I know her a bajillion times better than him to know that she won't be happy there she is not worldly and I mean that in the slightest respect so you think that weather in peril going to another country horrible he leaves for Korea and she stays here she's already said she probably isn't going to stay with him but then as flip-flops and said she'd never divorce him which for their marriage but I wanted to stay strong become strong become an unbreakable bond. the hard part here is that I still love her but just like why I divorced her to make her happy I will continue to fight for her marriage to work but I will not send my son with a broken marriage to a foreign state or country where first off she has to move to the other state alone she doesn't know how she's going to do it would tell him and the two kids one being a baby and he's a fussy really hard baby sometimes and the other being 6 years old and starting to present attitude and to move all by yourself she's only been out of the state a couple times and I was recently she's a hard enough time driving to another city with GPS but to move to another state where she knows no one that's not going to work for her she's at her family's everyday they're tight knit. Well anyways sorry for rambling but I'm trying to avoid big amazing I guess this is more about getting info that's beneficial in helping with my decision

 

[stealth2]

I'm sorry, but your posts are nearly impossible to read. Please use paragraphs at the very least. Typos, we can work around. But these huge blocks of text AND poor English? No. And just keep it to the facts, not the editorializing.

Thank you.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I did get that they do not have a nuclear relationship.

 

[stealth2]

I did get that they do not have a nuclear relationship.

Well, a plutonium relationship seems rather..... toxic.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Well, a plutonium relationship seems rather..... toxic.

But with a Russian girl involved...

 

[stealth2]

but with a russian girl involved...

hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[I'mTheFather]

And don't most people want a big amazing whatever, rather than trying to avoid it?

Oh, then again, with plutonium involved, it may be a big amazing kerpow. Maybe the post makes more sense than I thought.