17 year old doesn't want to return to custodial parent

[A_PAYNE]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

 

[Silverplum]

Does s/he also refuse to go to school? Is that why you posted under Criminal Law?

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

Are you the 17-year-old, the noncustodial parent or the custodial parent (or someone else entirely)?



(the Juvenile Law section seems appropriate, I think)

 

[A_PAYNE]

In February my husband and I was told that his 17 year old daughter had to come live with us because the mother couldn't deal with her anymore. We welcomed the daughter got her enrolled in school where she stayed until May when school ended for summer. At that time she got into some trouble and decided she wanted to go back to her moms. After being at her mom's for a week she was sent to rehab. She was in rehab for 28 days got out and went back to her mom's house. After being there a week her mom kicked her out and told her not to come back. My husband works out of state and was not home when this happened so the daughter went and stayed at her bf house with his mother's permission to be there. When her mother found out where she was she called the police and filed a missing person report so the police would go pick her up and bring her home. When the police went to get her she refused to go back and they told her and her mom that because she is 17 they can not make her go back. After discussing coming back to live with her father and I we decided to give it another chance. She has one year of school left and we just want her to finish.The problem is that her mom is furious that she has chosen to come back to our home instead of going back to her house. My stepdaughter and her mother do not have a good relationship and her mother has kicked her out numerous times before she came to live with us this past Feb. My stepdaughter is still enrolled in school by us has already gotten a job and will start her senior year in 2 weeks. My question is can her mother take my husband to court and can he get into any legal trouble for allowing her to stay here?

 

[A_PAYNE]

I'm sorry I'm new to this and must have posted under the wrong forum

 

[Silverplum]

I'm sorry I'm new to this and must have posted under the wrong forum

You're fine.

 

[A_PAYNE]

Thank you. You wouldn't happen to have any advice would you?

 

[quincy]

In February my husband and I was told that his 17 year old daughter had to come live with us because the mother couldn't deal with her anymore. We welcomed the daughter got her enrolled in school where she stayed until May when school ended for summer. At that time she got into some trouble and decided she wanted to go back to her moms. After being at her mom's for a week she was sent to rehab. She was in rehab for 28 days got out and went back to her mom's house. After being there a week her mom kicked her out and told her not to come back. My husband works out of state and was not home when this happened so the daughter went and stayed at her bf house with his mother's permission to be there. When her mother found out where she was she called the police and filed a missing person report so the police would go pick her up and bring her home. When the police went to get her she refused to go back and they told her and her mom that because she is 17 they can not make her go back. After discussing coming back to live with her father and I we decided to give it another chance. She has one year of school left and we just want her to finish.The problem is that her mom is furious that she has chosen to come back to our home instead of going back to her house. My stepdaughter and her mother do not have a good relationship and her mother has kicked her out numerous times before she came to live with us this past Feb. My stepdaughter is still enrolled in school by us has already gotten a job and will start her senior year in 2 weeks. My question is can her mother take my husband to court and can he get into any legal trouble for allowing her to stay here?

At first I thought that you might be the 17-year-old posting, which is why I thought the Juvenile Law section might be appropriate. But that was before I saw that you could write in complete sentences and knew how to use capital letters.

Your stepdaughter is not going to be charged with any crime for leaving home at age 17 but the police can still pick her up and return her to her mother's house if her mother insists on having her home. So, this is less a matter of the 17-year-old getting into legal trouble for running away and more a matter of custodial care for the daughter while she finishes up school.

Why do you think it is that the mother is willing to have the daughter live with you and your husband at times and doesn't want her living with you and your husband at other times? Is there any reason for this that you can understand? It seems from what you have said that the daughter does better when she is living with her dad.

If the mother is the custodial parent, though, I suppose the mother could take your husband to court for violating the custody order. That said, I am not sure any judge will insist that the daughter return to the mom's house. The daughter will be 18 before long and at 18 she will be able legally to decide where she wants to live.

Your husband might want to sit down with his former wife to discuss their daughter's living situation and where best to have her live while she finishes up her senior year in high school, if the parents are able to talk civilly and sanely about this. Perhaps they can make an arrangement that suits not only them but is one that the daughter will not fight. When parents can show their children that they are united in whatever it is they decide to do, the children have no ability to argue it.

Wait for others to post who know far more than I do about custody issues, which is what this seems to be (more than a runaway 17-year-old issue, which is what I thought it might be).

 

[A_PAYNE]

Thank you for your reply. We are not sure why her mother sent her to us to begin with since we have tried to get her to let her come live with us in the past and she refused. The reason she doesn't want her living with us now is because of child support. When she allowed her to come live with us in Feb. the child support was modified to reflect the new living situation. This caused a big decrease from what she was getting. When my stepdaughter expressed her desire to go back to her mother's even though her mother was the one that kicked her out she couldn't wait to move her back so she could have the child support increased again. My husband and I do know for a fact that that is the reason she is making a big deal out of her being with us now. She has told my husband that she couldn't pay her bills since letting the daughter live with us. She is married and both her and her husband have jobs and own their house. After picking up the daughter she even told us that her mom told her the only reason she wanted her back was for the increase in child support she would get.

The mother and daughter have not had a good relationship in a long time. She has 2 other siblings and they don't get along with the mother either. This information about her only wanting the kids for child support is not new to us we've known for awhile that's the only reason she wants to keep the kids which was why we were so shocked she let her come live with us in the first place.

I will admit that my husband and his ex wife do not get along at all. Because the kids have a much better relationship with my husband than they do her she despises him. When she kicked the daughter out my husband was states away but she still blamed him for who the daughter chose to stay with, for not making the daughter call her, and for not making her come home but when the daughter left she called her dad and told him what was going on he then called her mother and told her where she was that if she wanted her back to go get her. The mother said no she was on her own.

The daughter is now back at our house and still enrolled in school here since her mother never put her back in school where she lives. She technically only stayed 2 weeks with her mom this summer before coming back and she already has a job here. The police have already told her and her mother that they could not make her go back because of her age but that was in a different Parrish and I know not every Parrish follows the same rules.

I'm worried now because the mother told my husband she spoke to an attorney and knows what she can do. My husband works out of state and does not have the time to be going to court.

 

[stealth2]

The whole rehab thing is concerning. What was she in rehab for? It seems odd that she'd have gone from no drug/alcohol issues to rehab w/in a week back at Mom's. Is it possible that she was using before moving in with Dad and while living with him? How is she doing in school? What is she planning for after HS?

Most importantly, this IS a child in need of help - with her using (whatever), with herself and with her relationship issues.

 

[LdiJ]

I also think it could be problematic that dad works out of town. I suppose that means that the child is really just living with you during the week rather than either of her parents? I am not sure how a judge would feel about that.

Of course, there is always the option of simply leaving the child support alone. Many parents have done that in order to protect the best interests of their children in the short term. She will graduate from high school in about 9 months. The extra child support for those 9 months might be worth it.

 

[A_PAYNE]

She was smoking marijuana before she came to live with her dad and I. Her mother knew she was doing it and still sent her to live with us. When we found out we wanted to put her in rehab. Since it was the end of the school year she wanted to try to go back to her mom's. She was there a week before she went into rehab. When she got out of rehab she went back to her mother's house and by the end of the week her mother kicked her out and told her not to come back knowing she had nowhere to go. She has been doing good since getting out of rehab.

I could care less about the child support because in 9 months she will be 18 and graduated in 10 months. My husband pays his child support every month faithfully and we still provide the necessary things for his children because the child support is not used for them. My concern is that she be somewhere she can finish high school without the stress of worrying where she's gonna live when her mom decides to kick her out. It's her mom that wants her back to get the increase in child support again as she has told us that herself as well as telling her daughter that was why she wanted her back.

The daughter does not want to go back to her moms. She has already established friends here since coming in Feb. she has been back here 2 days and has already gotten a job and will be starting school in 2 weeks. She wants to finish her last year here. We have been discussing her plans for after HS and as of right now are planning what she should do.

Her dad works 2 weeks and is home 2 weeks. He has been working this rotation for years. The mother knows his work schedule and had no problem sending her in Feb. to live with us. Yes I am the one home taking care of her while her father works but I have been apart of her life for 8 years. I'm not some stranger that her dad is leaving her with we have a decent relationship and she feels comfortable staying with me while her dad is working.

My concern is since the police have told the mother that they will not bring her back and the daughter chose to come back to our house instead of her mother's that her mom is going to take my husband to court. We are not holding her here against her will nor did we coerce her into coming here. The daughter simply refused to go back to her mother's after finding out that she didn't have to. My husband and I don't want her out on the street or living from friend to friends house so when she asked if she could come back we said yes.

 

[Ohiogal]

She was smoking marijuana before she came to live with her dad and I. Her mother knew she was doing it and still sent her to live with us. When we found out we wanted to put her in rehab. Since it was the end of the school year she wanted to try to go back to her mom's. She was there a week before she went into rehab. When she got out of rehab she went back to her mother's house and by the end of the week her mother kicked her out and told her not to come back knowing she had nowhere to go. She has been doing good since getting out of rehab.

I could care less about the child support because in 9 months she will be 18 and graduated in 10 months. My husband pays his child support every month faithfully and we still provide the necessary things for his children because the child support is not used for them. My concern is that she be somewhere she can finish high school without the stress of worrying where she's gonna live when her mom decides to kick her out. It's her mom that wants her back to get the increase in child support again as she has told us that herself as well as telling her daughter that was why she wanted her back.

The daughter does not want to go back to her moms. She has already established friends here since coming in Feb. she has been back here 2 days and has already gotten a job and will be starting school in 2 weeks. She wants to finish her last year here. We have been discussing her plans for after HS and as of right now are planning what she should do.

Her dad works 2 weeks and is home 2 weeks. He has been working this rotation for years. The mother knows his work schedule and had no problem sending her in Feb. to live with us. Yes I am the one home taking care of her while her father works but I have been apart of her life for 8 years. I'm not some stranger that her dad is leaving her with we have a decent relationship and she feels comfortable staying with me while her dad is working.

My concern is since the police have told the mother that they will not bring her back and the daughter chose to come back to our house instead of her mother's that her mom is going to take my husband to court. We are not holding her here against her will nor did we coerce her into coming here. The daughter simply refused to go back to her mother's after finding out that she didn't have to. My husband and I don't want her out on the street or living from friend to friends house so when she asked if she could come back we said yes.

Now you are overstepping.

 

[A_PAYNE]

Please explain how I am overstepping. I understand I am just her stepmom and I have no decision making rights in this situation.

I did not tell her to leave when her mother kicked her out, I did not tell her she did not have to go back the police did,I have not told her not to talk to her mother. These are all things that she chose to do. She asked her father and I if she could come back here we didn't make her. Of course her father is not gonna let her stay on the streets nor would I so we said ok.

My concern is my husband and what could happen to him if the mother decides to take him to court. Like I said in my previous post she's 9 months from turning 18 she's been enrolled in school here since Feb. has a job and friends and just wants to finish her last year of school here.

 

[quincy]

... My concern is since the police have told the mother that they will not bring her back and the daughter chose to come back to our house instead of her mother's that her mom is going to take my husband to court. We are not holding her here against her will nor did we coerce her into coming here. The daughter simply refused to go back to her mother's after finding out that she didn't have to. My husband and I don't want her out on the street or living from friend to friends house so when she asked if she could come back we said yes.

Here is a link to (what seems to me to be) the applicable Louisiana law, Interference with the custody of a child, LA Rev Stat §14:45.1: http://law.justia.com/codes/louisiana/2011/rs/title14/rs14-45-1/

The other forum members can tell you better than I what the odds are of the police being interested at all in returning a 17-year-old girl from the home of her father to the home of her mother on a custody violation, or of charging the father or you with custody interference.