can i ask wife to leave house?

[andy8110]

I live in NYS and was curious if i can ask my wife to leave our home? She recently informed me that she is dating another man and i dont feel like living in same home.
We have children.

 

[Zigner]

I live in NYS and was curious if i can ask my wife to leave our home? She recently informed me that she is dating another man and i dont feel like living in same home.
We have children.

Yes, you can ask her to leave the home. Unfortunately, the flip side of the coin is that she is under no obligation to comply until a court orders her to do so.

 

[adjusterjack]

You can "ask."

She can refuse.

You can file for divorce and seek possession of the house pending the divorce.

Doubtful that a judge would kick her out with children though.

 

[xylene]

I think you need to see a lawyer and a therapist.

You can 'ask' your wife to do just about anything, and asking her to move out seems pretty reasonable.

But I am thinking that by 'ask' you mean more like 'insist' or 'demand' and she is unwilling, so that's why you need a lawyer.

 

[andy8110]

thank you

I was afraid of that

 

[andy8110]

how will or can this effect any custody agreements?

Can this effect her position in regards to any custody agreements?

 

[LdiJ]

Can this effect her position in regards to any custody agreements?

No...having an affair does not make her an unfit mother for custody purposes. It makes her a bad wife, but not an unfit mother.

 

[andy8110]

last question

Am i under any legal obligation to watch kids everynight she wants to spend at her boyfriend house? Can i refuse ?

 

[Zigner]

Am i under any legal obligation to watch kids everynight she wants to spend at her boyfriend house? Can i refuse ?

What happens if you refuse and she leaves anyway?

ETA: Don't use your kids as pawns in this.

 

[andy8110]

point taken.

I understand your point. Its hard to get over the being used part of this.

 

[Zigner]

I understand your point. Its hard to get over the being used part of this.

Believe me - I understand. This is a tremendously emotionally charged time for you, so try to take a minute to breathe and don't act rashly.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Am i under any legal obligation to watch kids everynight she wants to spend at her boyfriend house? Can i refuse ?

You lost me here.

So you want her and the kids out of the house? The marital home is the only thing you really care about here?

Let me put it another way: you're asking to get out of parenting your own kids. You're not interested in custody of your own kids.

Most people worry about the kids, and that's the reason they want the marital home.

 

[Zigner]

You lost me here.

So you want her and the kids out of the house? The marital home is the only thing you really care about here?

Let me put it another way: you're asking to get out of parenting your own kids. You're not interested in custody of your own kids.

Most people worry about the kids, and that's the reason they want the marital home.

That's one way to interpret it, however, I interpreted it as the man trying to think of anything he can do to break up his wife's relationship with the other guy. That's not going to happen.

 

[not2cleverRed]

That's one way to interpret it, however, I interpreted it as the man trying to think of anything he can do to break up his wife's relationship with the other guy. That's not going to happen.

Yeah, you probably have more insight in that area. And I agree, it's not going to happen. Wifey should also realize that expecting her husband to put up with her openly having an affair is emasculating.

I think Dad should document the hours he's spending as primary caretaker of the children, and realize that the children are suffering from Mom's behavior as well. *Someone* has to take care of the kids. Would he prefer it be Wifey and her par amour? Ew. Just ew.

I used to be friends with some in OP's situation in NYS. The friend chose to leave rather than sharing a bedroom, and didn't file for years because of the house issue - idiot just continued paying the mortgage while renting a room, and going over every day to take care of the kids until "wifey" got home at 1-2 AM. I say "idiot" because he did this for years.

By contrast, a relative was shocked that, after she moved out to "find herself" leaving the kids behind, her ex husband got both house and kids.

 

[Just Blue]

Am i under any legal obligation to watch kids everynight she wants to spend at her boyfriend house? Can i refuse ?

"watch the kids"? Seriously? They are YOUR children!