Low Income Divorce Question. Urgent Help Needed

[Richbee0823]

Hello. I live in California. My husband and I were married for 30+ years. After several years of verbal, physical, and mental abuse by him he assaulted another man he thought I was having an affair with. After doing so he fled the state and is now a fugitive. Where things get tricky is that together we purchased my mothers house and we have a vehicle together. He has left me completely broken hearted, scared and financially suffocated. What is the best way to go about.. 1) Removing his name from the vehicle loan so I can trade the car in for a more affordable car. 2) Remove his name from the home so that I can sell the house before I lose it in foreclosure. I am not looking to be spiteful but I am no longer able to afford both of these expenses and can not risk losing them or ruining what little credit I do have. My husband is a mentally disabled man who made a terrible decision that I am almost positive he will never come back to take responsibility for. Somebody please help me before I end up homeless and lose my mothers house that my father built with his bare hands.

 

[Zigner]

Somebody please help me before I end up homeless and lose my mothers house that my father built with his bare hands.

Huh? you state that your desire is to sell the house.

You can't just "remove" his name from stuff that he owns.

 

[Richbee0823]

Huh? you state that your desire is to sell the house.

You can't just "remove" his name from stuff that he owns.

So if he remains at large for the rest of his life and I cannot afford the mortgage without his portion he contributed what do I do? I know I cannot just remove his name without a judges order or him agreeing too (which he will not do on his own accord even if I could find him) so what are my options? Should I be punished financially and emotionally not to add what would happen to my credit because he is mentally ill and committed a crime and left the state never to be heard from by anyone since? I am looking for advice not chastisement or criticism. I'm scared. I'm 65 years old and haven't been alone in 30+ years I'm worried I'm gonna end up homeless. For those wondering why I didn't leave him years ago is because not only was I in fear of what he would do to me or himself but I am a women of God and did not want to quit on a mentally ill man I was once in love with. Please help 😢

 

[STEPHAN]

How long has he been missing?

 

[Richbee0823]

How long has he been missing?

3 1/2 months. The only reason I know he is still alive is because he went into a Citi Bank in Los Angeles the day his Social Security check was deposited and withdrew everything but $5.00 from our joint bank account leaving me completely poor.

 

[Ohiogal]

Divorce your husband and request you be granted the property. That is what you can do.

 

[Richbee0823]

Divorce your husband and request you be granted the property. That is what you can do.

I am under the impression a divorce will take too long and I run the risk of losing the property and ruin my credit. Other than hiring an attorney which I cannot afford how do I get a divorce done as quick as possible and how long would that take? I am looking for emergency court dates, ruling, etc.

 

[LdiJ]

3 1/2 months. The only reason I know he is still alive is because he went into a Citi Bank in Los Angeles the day his Social Security check was deposited and withdrew everything but $5.00 from our joint bank account leaving me completely poor.

Well, then I hope that you open a new account in your name only and divert any income that YOU have to that account.

 

[Richbee0823]

Well, then I hope that you open a new account in your name only and divert any income that YOU have to that account.

Yes I have done that already but it is still not enough to afford the mortgage, car payment, and insurance. I'm in dire need of information that will help me get this process with done quickly. My nephew is going through a divorce where the wife was able to get an emergency hearing regarding spousal support and custody. I know I will never see a dime from him for spousal support considering he's a fugitive on the run probably in Mexico if I had to guess. I just want to be able to rent out or sell our property (which was my mothers and he only owns half because we are married) and get into a new car that I can afford before I am homeless.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes I have done that already but it is still not enough to afford the mortgage, car payment, and insurance. I'm in dire need of information that will help me get this process with done quickly. My nephew is going through a divorce where the wife was able to get an emergency hearing regarding spousal support and custody. I know I will never see a dime from him for spousal support considering he's a fugitive on the run probably in Mexico if I had to guess. I just want to be able to rent out or sell our property (which was my mothers and he only owns half because we are married) and get into a new car that I can afford before I am homeless.

You can absolutely rent out the property without worrying about him. You do not need both signatures to do that.

 

[Zigner]

Even once the divorce is final (a minimum of 6 months from the filing date), you will still need his signature to sell the property.

 

[Zigner]

...which was my mothers and he only owns half because we are married...

Please explain your thought process on this. The fact is that you chose to buy a house together. That's why he has ownership interest. Furthermore, he doesn't own "half" if you are both listed as joint tenants. You both own 100% of the house.

 

[LdiJ]

Even once the divorce is final (a minimum of 6 months from the filing date), you will still need his signature to sell the property.

There are ways around that, such as in partition cases. It of course would need assistance from the judge.

 

[Zigner]

There are ways around that, such as in partition cases. It of course would need assistance from the judge.

I know, and I knew when I posted that I should have said there were exceptions. With that said, a partition action would be separate from the divorce. It is a time-consuming and costly process that will need the assistance of an attorney to do correctly. I doubt it's a realistic option for this OP.

ETA: I appreciate that you brought it up, though.

 

[LdiJ]

OP,

Have you considered getting roommates so that you can stay in the home and afford it? If you decide to seriously consider that, then make sure you study up on the rules for being a landlord, and make sure that you thoroughly check out any potential roommates.