My husband filed on grounds of Adultry

[HRZ]

As a practical matter you are right...bite your lip and get it done and move on.....it's 99.999 % likely that adultry never comes up anyplace as an issue...and if he leaves the country w/o a divorce action under control...you might have a problem to close the exit loop later on.

IF you need a top secret clearance or plan on running for Senate you might want legal counsel now .....just my lay view , otherwise ,

BIte your lip and get free.

 

[CTU]

As a practical matter you are right...bite your lip and get it done and move on.....it's 99.999 % likely that adultry never comes up anyplace as an issue...and if he leaves the country w/o a divorce action under control...you might have a problem to close the exit loop later on.

IF you need a top secret clearance or plan on running for Senate you might want legal counsel now .....just my lay view , otherwise ,

BIte your lip and get free.

Please stop posting to family law.

Thanks.

Bye.

 

[Zigner]

it doesn't sound like zealotry because I have not laid out all the details, because this is a legal forum, not a "bitch about religious stuff" forum. There is a lot more that I can tell you, but I was giving just a bit of things to be relevant. Believe me when I say that he went from non-religious when we met to religion being the most important thing in his life. More important then me, his life, his kids, his job, everything. All conversations had there are references made to Jehovah, no enjoyment is had in life anymore, everything is about how he can better serve his God and being ready for Paradise after the world ends. That is no way to live.

To be fair, each of the things you mention are only your opinion.

How can I end up paying him support when He's made more then me all along? We maintained separate bank accounts, have nothing to divide, and I was ill for much of the year and half of the actual marriage part of our relationship? So he paid the majority of the rent, and shared expenses. I paid for my car and personal stuff.

I don't think you told us previously how long you had been married. Any spousal support is unlikely and, if awarded (to either of you) likely to be for a VERY short period of time.

 

[Ohiogal]

I know what I did when he accused me of it. a few flirtatious emails with someone that I have never met in person hardly is adultery. If you believe it is, then you need to look up the legal definition again. Also, you shouldn't pass judgment on a situation you aren't in and know very little of. My husband is hardly innocent, not adultery, but abuse and neglect. He once a month about would tell me how he never really loved me, and how I forced him to say he loved me, forced him to move in with me, forced him to propose, forced him to marry me. He compared me to all his prior gfs and ex wives (yes there are 3). I was extremely depressed, I felt like dirt and was literally sick from it. The boyfriend I currently have from England became that recently as feelings developed between us over time, after my husband I separated. As of yet, we still have not met in person being that he's 3500+ miles away with an ocean in between us. So it's not like there has been sexual intercourse or any sexual acts which is what constitutes adultery in the state of Maryland, not just emotional attachments. We do have plans to meet in the coming year, but with the rate things are progressing in my divorce case, I could very well be divorced by that time.

Funny. Lecturing me on legal definitions? You are so hilariously ignorant.

 

[Zigner]

Funny. Lecturing me on legal definitions? You are so hilariously ignorant.

It appears that, in Maryland, a component of adultery is intercourse.

I find it strange that the OP is so ready to just admit to adultery when none has occurred. Particularly when the burden of proof is on her husband, not her.

 

[Ohiogal]

It appears that, in Maryland, a component of adultery is intercourse.

I find it strange that the OP is so ready to just admit to adultery when none has occurred. Particularly when the burden of proof is on her husband, not her.

I find it strange that she has no issue screaming about how she has been faithful when she has a boyfriend in UK and is still married. She really isn't pure as the falling snow, now is she?

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

So I received my paperwork yesterday and he has indeed filed on these grounds though there was nothing going on. He accused me because there was a few emails where I was being flirtatious with someone I never met. He was abusive emotionally throughout the marriage, but that is besides the point. He has to file this way because of his religion, he's a Jehovah's Witness, if he filed for any other reason, the church would throw him out. My brother states that a divorce decree that shows adultery as the reason for my divorce on my end could be bad for me in the future, in terms of if I ever apply for a mortgage, or if I need to immigrate to another country like the UK. (I have a boyfriend in England). I want out of the bad marriage as quickly as possible and don't have money to hire an attorney, is it worth the trouble to fight him on the adultery? we have no kids, no money, no joint property. Is it really going to effect me negatively in the future? it is 2017, not 1950. Any input is appreciated. thanks.

perplexed.

Perplexed is me, too. You are married, and have a boyfriend. But you don't think you're in an adulterous relationship. Okay.

 

[Ohiogal]

Perplexed is me, too. You are married, and have a boyfriend. But you don't think you're in an adulterous relationship. Okay.

An emotional affair doesn't count -- apparently she thinks only the humpty dance counts when some courts have a broadly different view.

 

[Zigner]

An emotional affair doesn't count -- apparently she thinks only the humpty dance counts when some courts have a broadly different view.

In the OP's state, intercourse has to have occurred for there to be cause for a divorce on the grounds of adultery. I'm not disagreeing with you from a moral standpoint, just pointing out the law in the OP's state.

 

[Ohiogal]

In the OP's state, intercourse has to have occurred for there to be cause for a divorce on the grounds of adultery. I'm not disagreeing with you from a moral standpoint, just pointing out the law in the OP's state.

Nope. You are wrong:
From https://www.peoples-law.org/grounds-absolute-divorce

To prove adultery, you do not need to show actual intercourse occurred. You must prove that the offender had the disposition and opportunity for intercourse outside of the marriage.
Examples of an adulterous “disposition”: Public displays of affection, such as hand-holding, kissing, and hugging, between the guilty spouse and the non-spouse.
Example of an adulterous “opportunity”: Proving that your spouse was seen entering the non-spouse’s apartment alone at 11 p.m. and not coming out until 8 a.m. the following morning.
If you can’t prove both disposition and opportunity, your claim of adultery is mere speculation. It is not enough for your spouse to simply admit to adultery. You must prove through the use of evidence (ex: text messages, photographs, emails, etc.) that your spouse committed adultery. However, if the offending spouse is the husband and a child is born outside of the marriage, this is usually enough to prove a claim of adultery.

Text messages and if she has been with the boyfriend (he ever been in this country? Have they actually met?) ... That could show it. Disposition -- she has a boyfriend -- opportunity.... she has met with him without hubby. So nope, actual intercourse NOT necessary to prove adultery.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

From OG's link.

Adultery
Adultery has been defined as “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than the person’s spouse.” (Black's Law Dictionary) If a party claims and proves that his or her spouse committed adultery, the court can grant the divorce right away.

The law is not completely clear about how adultery relates to same-sex marriages. However, the Maryland Attorney General has issued an opinion suggesting that adultery should include “a spouse’s extramarital sexual infidelity with a person of the same sex.” See the Opinion here. (link is external)

To prove adultery, you do not need to show actual intercourse occurred. You must prove that the offender had the disposition and opportunity for intercourse outside of the marriage.

Examples of an adulterous “disposition”: Public displays of affection, such as hand-holding, kissing, and hugging, between the guilty spouse and the non-spouse.
Example of an adulterous “opportunity”: Proving that your spouse was seen entering the non-spouse’s apartment alone at 11 p.m. and not coming out until 8 a.m. the following morning.
If you can’t prove both disposition and opportunity, your claim of adultery is mere speculation. It is not enough for your spouse to simply admit to adultery. You must prove through the use of evidence (ex: text messages, photographs, emails, etc.) that your spouse committed adultery. However, if the offending spouse is the husband and a child is born outside of the marriage, this is usually enough to prove a claim of adultery.

Adultery may be a factor in determining the right to alimony (support that one spouse pays the other). It may be a factor in awarding custody of the children only if the court determines that the adulterous behavior had a detrimental (harmful) effect on the children.

Since the boyfriend is in the UK both disposition (as defined above) and certainly opportunity can't happen

 

[Zigner]

Nope. You are wrong:
From https://www.peoples-law.org/grounds-absolute-divorce


Text messages and if she has been with the boyfriend (he ever been in this country? Have they actually met?) ... That could show it. Disposition -- she has a boyfriend -- opportunity.... she has met with him without hubby. So nope, actual intercourse NOT necessary to prove adultery.

From the same website: https://www.peoples-law.org/crimes-against-marriage

Adultery
Adultery laws are important to unmarried cohabitants if one of the partners is still married to another person. Generally, adultery is defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person other than that person's husband or wife. The sexual intercourse necessary for adultery must involve some penetration of the female organ by the male organ, but a “completion” of the sexual intercourse is not required. Adultery is a ground for divorce in Maryland. Therefore, the married person who has sexual intercourse with another person could be sued for divorce.


The thing we're dealing with is the standard of proof required. You DO have to convince the judge that intercourse is more likely than not to have occurred. So, yes, I agree that you don't have to have pictures or a video of the event occurring, but you do have to convince the judge that it occurred by a preponderance of the evidence. In this case, it could not have occurred because they never met. Therefore, there has been no adultery as defined by Maryland law.

 

[Ohiogal]

From OG's link.



Since the boyfriend is in the UK both disposition (as defined above) and certainly opportunity can't happen

Has boyfriend ever come to the US or she ever travelled there? If so then yes, disposition and opportunity can happen. It is NOT as simple has intercourse.

 

[Ohiogal]

From the same website: https://www.peoples-law.org/crimes-against-marriage

Adultery
Adultery laws are important to unmarried cohabitants if one of the partners is still married to another person. Generally, adultery is defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person other than that person's husband or wife. The sexual intercourse necessary for adultery must involve some penetration of the female organ by the male organ, but a “completion” of the sexual intercourse is not required. Adultery is a ground for divorce in Maryland. Therefore, the married person who has sexual intercourse with another person could be sued for divorce.


The thing we're dealing with is the standard of proof required. You DO have to convince the judge that intercourse is more likely than not to have occurred. So, yes, I agree that you don't have to have pictures or a video of the event occurring, but you do have to convince the judge that it occurred by a preponderance of the evidence. In this case, it could not have occurred because they never met. Therefore, there has been no adultery as defined by Maryland law.

Where did she say she has NEVER met her boyfriend? She says he is in the UK. Has he EVER travelled to the US? Has she travelled to the UK?

ETA: Never mind, saw it. But my point is OP doesn't get to lecture me regarding legal definitions. She is another who can rot.

Because sex is not a requirement. And she is cheating on her husband by having a boyfriend. HER words -- boyfriend. The fact that she has a BOYFRIEND she has never met just makes her a fool.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I believe the OP said they had never met in person. I could be wrong.