Sara Abrams
Active Member
What is the name of your state?CA
My ex husband has professional supervised visitation due to his long-term methamphetamine addiction and placing our children in unsafe situations. He has been hell-bent on revenge ever since I filed for divorce 3 years ago, and has been recording his own conversations with the children for that long. He has admitted to this in three separate pleadings, one for each year. I was told by my attorney that even though he has professional supervised visits, I still had to allow phone calls. So I did, though I never felt comfortable (I have now been told by a different attorney that she was wrong- who to trust?)
Nearly every night he'd call our children. The times I overheard their conversations they caused me severe distress. He'd tell them things like, "Just you wait and see. This is all your mom's fault. The truth will come out. You'll be living with me soon." It got to the point where I would go to my room, lock the door, and put a pillow over my head and sing while they spoke. I was so afraid that I'd overhear what he was telling them and try to take the phone, and that this would be a violation of our order (not to interfere with other parent's phone call).
After being given supervised visitation, he only ended up exercising it for one month. He went 3 months without seeing them, and they'd tell me things like, "Dad told us you're keeping us from him. Dad told us you're lying to the courts."
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I bought two children's books on parental drug abuse. I read them to them, and then asked, "Do you know why I read you these stories? Your dad has a drug problem." I explained that there is help out there for people who suffer from this disease.
That night my son talked to him on the phone and told him what I'd said. I got a text from him that I'd violated our order (not to disparage other parent/talk about court case). He has now filed contempt of court for that matter alone. In his affidavit he included a transcript of the conversation he had with our son. In it, he tells my son that he doesn't have a drug problem, that in fact I manipulated his drug tests and that my son will find this all out soon.
He has failed 11 drug tests in one year. I cannot believe that his attorney allowed him to put this motion through. It seems incredibly unethical, especially given the fact that the recording is illegal. It also starts at the 0:00 mark, which shows he was already prepared to record.
I'm so confused. I feel as if I don't have any rights. He's committed so many crimes against me, but every time I report them to the police they say these are civil issues. I feel if the more crimes of his I report the worse I make myself look- that I just look crazy and out to get him. But how can I live like this? I have thought about stooping to his level and recording calls as well, but I don't feel right about it and am worried I would get in trouble.
Any advice would be appreciated.
My ex husband has professional supervised visitation due to his long-term methamphetamine addiction and placing our children in unsafe situations. He has been hell-bent on revenge ever since I filed for divorce 3 years ago, and has been recording his own conversations with the children for that long. He has admitted to this in three separate pleadings, one for each year. I was told by my attorney that even though he has professional supervised visits, I still had to allow phone calls. So I did, though I never felt comfortable (I have now been told by a different attorney that she was wrong- who to trust?)
Nearly every night he'd call our children. The times I overheard their conversations they caused me severe distress. He'd tell them things like, "Just you wait and see. This is all your mom's fault. The truth will come out. You'll be living with me soon." It got to the point where I would go to my room, lock the door, and put a pillow over my head and sing while they spoke. I was so afraid that I'd overhear what he was telling them and try to take the phone, and that this would be a violation of our order (not to interfere with other parent's phone call).
After being given supervised visitation, he only ended up exercising it for one month. He went 3 months without seeing them, and they'd tell me things like, "Dad told us you're keeping us from him. Dad told us you're lying to the courts."
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I bought two children's books on parental drug abuse. I read them to them, and then asked, "Do you know why I read you these stories? Your dad has a drug problem." I explained that there is help out there for people who suffer from this disease.
That night my son talked to him on the phone and told him what I'd said. I got a text from him that I'd violated our order (not to disparage other parent/talk about court case). He has now filed contempt of court for that matter alone. In his affidavit he included a transcript of the conversation he had with our son. In it, he tells my son that he doesn't have a drug problem, that in fact I manipulated his drug tests and that my son will find this all out soon.
He has failed 11 drug tests in one year. I cannot believe that his attorney allowed him to put this motion through. It seems incredibly unethical, especially given the fact that the recording is illegal. It also starts at the 0:00 mark, which shows he was already prepared to record.
I'm so confused. I feel as if I don't have any rights. He's committed so many crimes against me, but every time I report them to the police they say these are civil issues. I feel if the more crimes of his I report the worse I make myself look- that I just look crazy and out to get him. But how can I live like this? I have thought about stooping to his level and recording calls as well, but I don't feel right about it and am worried I would get in trouble.
Any advice would be appreciated.
