Spouse Used My Credit Card for Divorce

[Johnboy7701]

What is the name of your state? Good morning, I’m currently in the military in Washington State. I am still currently in training about 4 hours away from home for 30 days. My spouse and I had been getting along fine for the first week while being away. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She had messaged me saying her debit card split in half, and she needed to buy groceries until her new card came in. I didn’t suspect any wrongdoing because it was just a normal day. One day while out here I received a text message from capital one asking if I had made a purchase at a gas station and I asked her and she stated no. I didn’t think anything of it and continued on with my day. I checked my other credit card statement a couple days later because I had noticed funds missing and being transferred from my checking account. I was in shock next when I looked at my credit card from USAA and there was $9,000 in charges to my credit card which is only in my name. She filed for divorce, took ATM withdrawals to pay for her new apartment, paid for new furniture all without any knowledge. We have a 5 year old son and she just started a new job working for the Army at the hospital. I tried contacting the lawyer she went to and they didn’t care she used my card without my knowledge and argued in a defensive manner with me the whole time. I’m still away from home but did report it to USAA and Capital One as credit card fraud. I’m curious to what the next steps they are going to do and the chances of them actually doing something since the charges all combined are about $9700 with both credit cards. She acted like I gave her permission to use my cards, even though I have all the text messages stating it was only to be used for groceries. Thanks for your time and it’s very hard to be away from home while dealing with all of this.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Odds are this will all be handled in the divorce settlement. For now freeze the accounts.

 

[Johnboy7701]

Odds are this will all be handled in the divorce settlement. For now freeze the accounts.

I have frozen all accounts, changed bank accounts and so fourth. I was just curious to see what legal aspects the credit card company may pursue since it wasn’t a small amount. Thanks for your time

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Probably none because she was your wife and you gave her access to the card. They won't care that the access was limited.

 

[Johnboy7701]

Probably none because she was your wife and you gave her access to the card. They won't care that the access was limited.

Only thing is I only gave her access to buy groceries, not $9700 is expenditures. I guess I’ll wait to see what the credit card companies tell me.

 

[justalayman]

How did she sign for all of the activities?

Anyway, while you could leave this for the divorce, stick with maintaining any activity behind the purchase of groceries was a fraudulent use. Report it to the credit card company that way and let them deal with the legalities. If they ask if you will agree to prosecute, if you say no they will refuse to accept the use as fraud. Coukd you have your wife prosecuted for the fraudulent use?

 

[Johnboy7701]

How did she sign for all of the activities?

Anyway, while you could leave this for the divorce, stick with maintaining any activity behind the purchase of groceries was a fraudulent use. Report it to the credit card company that way and let them deal with the legalities. If they ask if you will agree to prosecute, if you say no they will refuse to accept the use as fraud. Coukd you have your wife prosecuted for the fraudulent use?

We have a child together, but since she told me nothing about wanting a divorce and lied about the whole thing until it was noticed by me, I wouldn’t have an issue prosecuting her. She probably should have thought about that before charging all that money. Her initial reaction was that the court would decide what she owes and so fourth. So my sympathy with her is very limited.

 

[stealth2]

We have a child together, but since she told me nothing about wanting a divorce and lied about the whole thing until it was noticed by me, I wouldn’t have an issue prosecuting her. She probably should have thought about that before charging all that money. Her initial reaction was that the court would decide what she owes and so fourth. So my sympathy with her is very limited.

Will you be deployable? How do you envision custody working?

 

[Johnboy7701]

Nope, I’ll actually be retiring around July of next year after 20 years. We’ve only been married 8, but I’m probably not going to be staying around here and she probably will. She’s from here and I’m pretty sure her sister has had a big impact on her actions that led to all this. She talks to her all the time but never tells me anything. So I guess we will see how it goes.

 

[Just Blue]

We have a child together, but since she told me nothing about wanting a divorce and lied about the whole thing until it was noticed by me, I wouldn’t have an issue prosecuting her. She probably should have thought about that before charging all that money. Her initial reaction was that the court would decide what she owes and so fourth. So my sympathy with her is very limited.

Why do you think that you could "prosecute her"? Are you a DA in the county this occurred in? If so...Why are you posting here?

 

[not2cleverRed]

Why do you think that you could "prosecute her"? Are you a DA in the county this occurred in? If so...Why are you posting here?

Johnboy was responding to Justalayman's question, "Coukd you have your wife prosecuted for the fraudulent use?" Justalayman was trying to prepare Johnboy for the fact that if he reports the cc use as fraud, he might have to agree to help them prosecute her.

I think that Johnboy should consider that she has been planning this for a while. Clearly she didn't think that things were fine and dandy.

 

[Just Blue]

Johnboy was responding to Justalayman's question, "Coukd you have your wife prosecuted for the fraudulent use?" Justalayman was trying to prepare Johnboy for the fact that if he reports the cc use as fraud, he might have to agree to help them prosecute her.

I think that Johnboy should consider that she has been planning this for a while. Clearly she didn't think that things were fine and dandy.

Sounds a bit like the STBX had an escape plan.

 

[stealth2]

Does she work, have access to funds herself?

 

[HRZ]

Washington is a community property state and everything acquired while married is up for a split, including debt.

MY guess is she has been planning ahead ...and you are caught trying to catch up and much of the pot has been raided .

Some laymans suggestions :

1. Close down every possible access to your money / cc 's et al you can like today . Keep exquisite records of transactions . You post you have done so...double check .

2. IF you gave limited permission to use a cc expect that permission will be liberally interpreted in her favor, but just how did she access your bank accounts ...??

3 . She may have designs on your military retirement benefits?

4. Delay may favor the enemy, you want counsel seasoned and licensed in WA darn soon . Her lawyer works for her , NOT you!

5. And I'd not rush to pay any bills that could be in the marital pot for division , absent a review with your attorney first .

6. Personally any comments about retirement or extension of your service need to discussed only with your counsel. The last thing you want is some decent current pay to be factored into child support and a near term " voluntary " reduction in pay not being grounds for adjustment of CS. BTW does wife's new job pay more?

7. And I'd not discuss move away plans except with counsel...don't give the enemy any free leverage as to child custody or visitation tug of wars .

 

[Zigner]

Let me distill a portion of what HRZ said, just so it is perfectly clear. The money in "your" account belonged equally to her. She can't steal what she own, so there will be no prosecution for fraud.