Should I let 13 month old child stay overnight?

[Just Blue]

I did wonder about OP when I saw he has a significantly older child...

TBH I only read a portion of the thread...But, again, they seem young from what I did read. It would explain the uncertainty of what to do by OP. Thought I would just ask...

 

[UpAllNight83]

Dad has a 15yo. So at least 28? 30?

He is 37 I am 35

 

[UpAllNight83]

TBH I only read a portion of the thread...But, again, they seem young from what I did read. It would explain the uncertainty of what to do by OP. Thought I would just ask...

Yes, I realize this whole situation sounds like teenaged drama it's embarrassing. This is my first and only child at age 34.

 

[Just Blue]

Yes, I realize this whole situation sounds like teenaged drama it's embarrassing. This is my first and only child at age 34.

At 34 I had one child aged 10. Thought she would be my only one...At 37 I received a surprise package, she is now 16.

 

[LdiJ]

Holy moly! I don't think the mom ever sought to have him penalized. I don't even have as much as secondhand knowledge about CS in MI so I need to find a lawyer asap.

Actually I am going to suggest that you do NOT hire an attorney and let the state child support people pursue things on your behalf. You have a dad involved who intends to fight child support tooth and nail and you do NOT need to be paying for an attorney to chase him when the state will do it for free.

Where you might want to hire an attorney is if he takes you to court for visitation or any kind of custody. Save your money for that.

 

[LdiJ]

He's on a breathalyzer tether since May, I just don't know if there's a way to trick it. I am curious why staying overnight has suddenly become so urgent? I'm sure he has some ulterior motive and the urgency only makes me more suspicious.

The urgency means that you need to stop and make sure that he gets no unsupervised access to the child. Make sure that any visitation happens with you supervising the visits.

 

[HRZ]

I agree as a layman...save your money for now and help the state do the best they can to put Dad on the hook for CS....best attorney around cannot squeeze blood out of a stone ...and Dad may be close to a stone ...

if there are no court ordered visitations in place....don't volunteer any just yet.

 

[UpAllNight83]

The urgency means that you need to stop and make sure that he gets no unsupervised access to the child. Make sure that any visitation happens with you supervising the visits.

Actually I am going to suggest that you do NOT hire an attorney and let the state child support people pursue things on your behalf. You have a dad involved who intends to fight child support tooth and nail and you do NOT need to be paying for an attorney to chase him when the state will do it for free.

Where you might want to hire an attorney is if he takes you to court for visitation or any kind of custody. Save your money for that.

This is the straightforward type of advice that I need right now in preparation for the legal battle I will ultimately be in. Makes sense to hold off on lawyer until then. Thank you very much.

 

[UpAllNight83]

I agree as a layman...save your money for now and help the state do the best they can to put Dad on the hook for CS....best attorney around cannot squeeze blood out of a stone ...and Dad may be close to a stone ...

if there are no court ordered visitations in place....don't volunteer any just yet.

Now that he's going to jail there's no hiding for him anymore. That's a great thing and a cause for worry since he has told me he will make things hard for me. Saving for a lawyer when it comes to visitation is sound advice and thank you for your time responding to my post.

 

[stealth2]

This is the straightforward type of advice that I need right now in preparation for the legal battle I will ultimately be in. Makes sense to hold off on lawyer until then. Thank you very much.

I'm going to disagree slightly. Although you may not need to retain an attorney now, NOW is the time to be consulting with several so that when you do need one, you know who you will call/retain. Otherwise, you're caught behind the eight ball. So don't sit around, waiting. And spend the time you have educating yourself on your state's laws, guidelines, etc.

 

[UpAllNight83]

I'm going to disagree slightly. Although you may not need to retain an attorney now, NOW is the time to be consulting with several so that when you do need one, you know who you will call/retain. Otherwise, you're caught behind the eight ball. So don't sit around, waiting. And spend the time you have educating yourself on your state's laws, guidelines, etc.

I filled out some consult forms online Fri So I should be getting some calls tomorrow. This is also good advice so I will be doing a number of things that have been suggested. Thank you for your post.

 

[HRZ]

I agree it makes sense to line up your options and have an attorney you are comfortable to retain if the alarm bell goes off. ...and build up a kitty as best you can, just in case.

 

[LdiJ]

I filled out some consult forms online Fri So I should be getting some calls tomorrow. This is also good advice so I will be doing a number of things that have been suggested. Thank you for your post.

Just don't pay one any money at this point. Some attorneys may suggest paying a retainer now but you do not know when, if ever, dad will take you to court therefore you do not want to spend any money now.

 

[UpAllNight83]

Just don't pay one any money at this point. Some attorneys may suggest paying a retainer now but you do not know when, if ever, dad will take you to court therefore you do not want to spend any money now.

Even if they do I don't have the money to give them right now anyhow. That's why I went for the free consults lol.

I was wondering though, when his dads DNA is taken and parentage confirmed should I file for sole custody? Can I even file for it? I have read that it is NOT recommended to file for sole custody unless there is some extreme reason the other parent is unfit. I think his severe alcoholism is reason enough, the court may disagree. After a year of not seeing him my son may not remember the guy, (he has only been having once a week visits for less than 2 months, the first year of child's life visits were erratic) let alone be comfortable going with him without me. I'm not trying to prevent it from happening, just make sure my son is comfortable.

 

[HRZ]

So far there are no visitation rights in place....why rush kicking a sleeping dog?

IF and when the point comes up you might be smarter to seek supervised visitations or such limitations as your then counsel thinks the court will grant based on Dads issues and the best interests of the child. .....system favors Dad to have or be allowed some involvement