How to change visitation order to include third parties

[Carminaav]

It's an emergency if OP goes to pick up the child and she refuses to let the OP pick up the kid, or deliberately hides their address/location.

It might not be emergency if she just won't drop the kid off when OP isn't home, and she's not trying to hide the child from him.

Carmin, is your child currently with you, or are you still trying to find where she is?

 

[Carminaav]

Child is home now yet it did take police assistance to find mom to return the child twice. I do not have her address and she always calls or texts from different phone numbers. She refuses to tell me where she lives. Its just so irritating that i’m my eyes she gets always with this petty nonsense. Just drop off the child at the home that she was pick up at. I look at it like this, It’s okay for her to pick up the child from grandma, 3rd party, when I’m at work early in the morning but not OK for her to return the child to grandma when i’m getting off work a little bit late. I feel she started this mess now that the supervised visitation were lifted because she completed her 52 week battery program. Peronally I don’t that class worked for her.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Child is home now yet it did take police assistance to find mom to return the child twice. I do not have her address and she always calls or texts from different phone numbers. She refuses to tell me where she lives. Its just so irritating that i’m my eyes she gets always with this petty nonsense. Just drop off the child at the home that she was pick up at. I look at it like this, It’s okay for her to pick up the child from grandma, 3rd party, when I’m at work early in the morning but not OK for her to return the child to grandma when i’m getting off work a little bit late. I feel she started this mess now that the supervised visitation were lifted because she completed her 52 week battery program. Peronally I don’t that class worked for her.

Then it is not an emergency. But you should still file. A non-emergency motion requires a longer wait. If you were dealing with someone normal, it'd scare the you-know-what out of her, but she sounds like she has problems beyond battery/anger management.

Is it possible that she has a drug problem?

 

[HRZ]

I agree Mom is twisting the intent of the exchange provision as it relates to pu and delivery at dads home to frustrate the role of Dads mother (3d party) to implement a transfer at dads house ....but taken literally that's the exact language in order ? and apparently Mom only twists intent when it suits her not to return child !

Unfortunately it's probably another trip to court to " clarify" . PS I'd suggest you use counsel and also seek to add a requirement that each parent provide the other in advance in writing at least 72 hours of their address or any changes to one provided earlier ..or whatever safety of child requirement your lawyer can get court to add..

 

[Carminaav]

I agree Mom is twisting the intent of the exchange provision as it relates to pu and delivery at dads home to frustrate the role of Dads mother (3d party) to implement a transfer at dads house ....but taken literally that's the exact language in order ? and apparently Mom only twists intent when it suits her not to return child !

Unfortunately it's probably another trip to court to " clarify" . PS I'd suggest you use counsel and also seek to add a requirement that each parent provide the other in advance in writing at least 72 hours of their address or any changes to one provided earlier ..or whatever safety of child requirement your lawyer can get court to add..

 

[Carminaav]

Attorneys are so expensive. Every year I exhaust all my income tax return on an attorney. Since, this situation has occurred they want a $5000 retainer fee to help me. Which is not possible.

 

[LdiJ]

Carminaav, why do you keep quoting posts without responding? What is your purpose in doing that?

 

[Carminaav]

forgive me I’m new at this. I notice I want to respond ivan iphone and the phone just takes it to another page and then i get lost.

 

[HRZ]

OP?..unfortunately the exact words of the order prevent the presence of 3d parties to be at exchange ...and Mom is entitled to follow exact words until some order to the contrary is in place .

Are you posting that Mom shows up at your house to make a pick up with her new BF in tow ? Can two play the same unreasonable game and a pick up is refused if BF is present ? Seems stupid but that's a different matter.

OP as a total aside, to over pay your taxes so as to get a big refund is poor investment logic....you are giving Feds an interest free loan of your money ..
Money you might wiser nvestment elsewhere.

IF attorney needs a $5000 retainer either you are seeking super grade attorney for a rather basic motion or there is some can of worms in your problem bucket you are not posting.

BTW does Mom have funds to mount a decent defense if you launch a professional advocate into equation? I think you both are fighting over a stupid point NOT in the child's overall interest. Money better socked away for college or whatever.

 

[Carminaav]

OP?..unfortunately the exact words of the order prevent the presence of 3d parties to be at exchange ...and Mom is entitled to follow exact words until some order to the contrary is in place .

Are you posting that Mom shows up at your house to make a pick up with her new BF in tow ? Can two play the same unreasonable game and a pick up is refused if BF is present ? Seems stupid but that's a different matter.

OP as a total aside, to over pay your taxes so as to get a big refund is poor investment logic....you are giving Feds an interest free loan of your money ..
Money you might wiser nvestment elsewhere.

IF attorney needs a $5000 retainer either you are seeking super grade attorney for a rather basic motion or there is some can of worms in your problem bucket you are not posting.

BTW does Mom have funds to mount a decent defense if you launch a professional advocate into equation? I think you both are fighting over a stupid point NOT in the child's overall interest. Money better socked away for college or whatever.

It’s getting confusing now. Mother brings BF. i just hand over child as instructed. Mother knows I’ll be at work and then feels she can change her mind and want to apply the “No third party at exchanges at SUPERVISED visitation..” This is not a supervised visit. I don’t care if she brings BF. I mention that because she points fingers at me because I require 3rd party for my exchange yet she doesn’t think the rule should apply to her. i do not require visitation the child lives with me.

 

[HRZ]

OP your supposed quote of that portion of the order does NOT support that view, even if your view makes a lot of sense.:" Other than visitation supervisor, mom and child, no third party at exchanges or to be present during moms supervised visits "

As posted it makes sense to refuse to turn child over to mom if Mom has BF in tow! Knife cuts both ways , even if stupid . .

 

[Carminaav]

understandable and yes knife can cut both ways but I don’t think she’s worth the time. I know she is trying to get me upset or even start an argument between us by First she brings the BF, second says No third party, third will not return my daughter home while i’m at work. All along she doesn’t pay her child support does not provide for our daughter let alone never has bought her an outfit but yet has all the in the world to waste. I’m to busy trying to raise a daughter, I have to pick my battles.

 

[not2cleverRed]

OP your supposed quote of that portion of the order does NOT support that view, even if your view makes a lot of sense.:" Other than visitation supervisor, mom and child, no third party at exchanges or to be present during moms supervised visits "

As posted it makes sense to refuse to turn child over to mom if Mom has BF in tow! Knife cuts both ways , even if stupid . .

I think it would be better for Carmin to not act vindictively and add fuel to this fire.

Carmin already has custody. Mom, until recently, has only had supervised visitation.

Carmin would do well to take the high road, so that Carmin retains credibility. Your suggestion could hurt Carmin's credibility.

I suspect Mom doesn't have loads of cash, if she's bouncing around from address to address. And $5,000 retainer sounds pretty standard where I am (NY), and parts of CA are just as expensive.

 

[not2cleverRed]

understandable and yes knife can cut both ways but I don’t think she’s worth the time. I know she is trying to get me upset or even start an argument between us by First she brings the BF, second says No third party, third will not return my daughter home while i’m at work. All along she doesn’t pay her child support does not provide for our daughter let alone never has bought her an outfit but yet has all the in the world to waste. I’m to busy trying to raise a daughter, I have to pick my battles.

Good. Keep focusing on the best interests of your daughter.

 

[stealth2]

I may have missed it and am not inclined to reread the thread to see, but how much time are we talking about between the ordered time and your availability? Are we talking a few hours or overnight/a day? Is daughter in any actual danger by spending that extra time? How often does this occur? Honestly? If you take it to court (vs coming to an agreement w/Mom), I can see Mom requesting (and very possibly receiving, especially if the time is not significant) right of first refusal.