How to change visitation order to include third parties

[stealth2]

Exactly!! I’m at my wits end with this crazy woman. And to think it’s only been 6 weeks of unsupervised visitation because she just got unsupervised visitation after 3 years of SUPERVISED visitation.

Well..... you picked her.

 

[Carminaav]

Well..... you picked her.

 

[LdiJ]

Even if they are both involved, what I said is true. In fact, it is more common when they're both involved, since the situation often arises during a divorce situation when neither parent wants to allow the visitation.

I will stop this line at this point because it's going to distract the OP from what's going on with her situation.

I left it at first, but for the sake of others reading this thread I have to disagree. It is absolutely NOT more common when there are two involved parents. When there are two involved parents it is generally expected that the children will visit with extended family on their own parent's time. If both parents are opposed, even when divorced or separated, CA courts are far less likely to interfere.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I left it at first, but for the sake of others reading this thread I have to disagree. It is absolutely NOT more common when there are two involved parents. When there are two involved parents it is generally expected that the children will visit with extended family on their own parent's time. If both parents are opposed, even when divorced or separated, CA courts are far less likely to interfere.

Moreover, per OP's more recent postings, this is a *not* a situation of 2 involved parents.

Up until 6 weeks ago, mom had only *supervised* visitation, while OP had primary custody.

I'm a little concerned, as this sounds like a relatively recent change in the court order, and mom wants to take her inch and make it a mile. And I am wondering *why* mom had supervised visitation.

 

[Carminaav]

Also, to add, in general, when both parents are involved, a California court is not going to assign any third party visitation rights. They will expect each parent to arrange for extended family visitation on their own time, but again, that is not meant to imply that the child can spend 100% of your visitation time elsewhere all the time.

 

[Carminaav]

Moreover, per OP's more recent postings, this is a *not* a situation of 2 involved parents.

Up until 6 weeks ago, mom had only *supervised* visitation, while OP had primary custody.

I'm a little concerned, as this sounds like a relatively recent change in the court order, and mom wants to take her inch and make it a mile. And I am wondering *why* mom had supervised visitation.

 

[LdiJ]

OP, why do you quote posts without making a response? You have done that several times in this thread.

 

[Carminaav]

Non custodial parent has supervised visitation due to criminal case and DV case. Did time in 2016.

 

[Carminaav]

sorry, I’m new at this and if I don’t respond so quickly or repost the quotes. However I appreciate the information provided has given me new insight on my situation.

 

[LdiJ]

Moreover, per OP's more recent postings, this is a *not* a situation of 2 involved parents.

Up until 6 weeks ago, mom had only *supervised* visitation, while OP had primary custody.

I'm a little concerned, as this sounds like a relatively recent change in the court order, and mom wants to take her inch and make it a mile. And I am wondering *why* mom had supervised visitation.

I agree with you that after the OP provided more information, it was less a case of two ordinarily involved parents. Up until mom got off supervised visitation mom's extended family might have had reason to file for third party visitation as mom was perhaps unable to share her supervised visitation with her extended family.

Dad's family, on the other hand, clearly continued to have access to the child via dad. If I understood dad's further postings clearly, mom is being difficult about returning the child after visitation because dad is not present, because he is working. Trying to get a third party added to the visitation orders is not the appropriate solution for that problem. Requiring mom to return the child to dad's home to the care of dad's designated child care provider IS.

Dad need's to file for contempt against mom.

 

[Carminaav]

Oh ok. I was considering exparte because she refuses to return the child. I thought applying 3rd party, grandma, to receive the child for the 1hr that i get home, oh did i forget to mention we live with grandma, in the court order was the only way to go about it. The third party was a thought becaus the mom is stuck on the court orders that state : “Other than visitation supervisor, mom and child, no third party at exchanges or to be present during moms supervised visits.” So mom believes that means she does not have to release the child other than to ME after visitation. These are unsupervised visits. These order were made this way because she had supervised visits. But now unsupervised Shes just thinks she can pick and chose the words in the court order and apply it to her convience . Yet get this, she always arrives at the exchanges with her new boyfriend. I’m tired of explaining she can’t apply orders to and and not apply them to herself but i’m feel i’m talking to the wall. And her we are her not returning my daughter. Thank you for your help.

 

[Zigner]

I left it at first, but for the sake of others reading this thread I have to disagree. It is absolutely NOT more common when there are two involved parents. When there are two involved parents it is generally expected that the children will visit with extended family on their own parent's time. If both parents are opposed, even when divorced or separated, CA courts are far less likely to interfere.

You misunderstood. I was speaking to the fact that this sort of situation is more likely to occur during a divorce. I wasn't speaking to the likelihood of success.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Oh ok. I was considering exparte because she refuses to return the child. I thought applying 3rd party, grandma, to receive the child for the 1hr that i get home, oh did i forget to mention we live with grandma, in the court order was the only way to go about it. The third party was a thought becaus the mom is stuck on the court orders that state : “Other than visitation supervisor, mom and child, no third party at exchanges or to be present during moms supervised visits.” So mom believes that means she does not have to release the child other than to ME after visitation. These are unsupervised visits. These order were made this way because she had supervised visits. But now unsupervised Shes just thinks she can pick and chose the words in the court order and apply it to her convience . Yet get this, she always arrives at the exchanges with her new boyfriend. I’m tired of explaining she can’t apply orders to and and not apply them to herself but i’m feel i’m talking to the wall. And her we are her not returning my daughter. Thank you for your help.

I think you mean something other than "exparte". Perhaps you mean "pro se" - without an attorney?

In any case, you have file a motion, asking that the judge find mom's actions to be in contempt of the court order.

If you do not have the documentation to support your claim, wait until you do. However, it seems like you have reported the problem with the police more than once - perhaps those records would be enough to support your claim effectively.

My understanding is that your goal is for the child to be picked up/dropped off at the times listed in the court order. Focus on that, and that it is not in the best interest of the child to be in a tug of war.

 

[Zigner]

I think you mean something other than "exparte". Perhaps you mean "pro se" - without an attorney?

Perhaps the OP was alluding to an emergency ex parte motion...

 

[not2cleverRed]

Perhaps the OP was alluding to an emergency ex parte motion...

It's an emergency if OP goes to pick up the child and she refuses to let the OP pick up the kid, or deliberately hides their address/location.

It might not be emergency if she just won't drop the kid off when OP isn't home, and she's not trying to hide the child from him.

Carmin, is your child currently with you, or are you still trying to find where she is?