Girlfriend wants a child-I do not-She is willing to sign away any right from me for financial compensation

[vp103]

Hi There,
My girlfriend of 3+ years came to me today and said she wants a child (with me). However, she understands that I do not ever want children. She agreed that I A: Did not have to be financially responsible or even involved in the child's life in any way and B: Would be willing to sign a legal document stating I would be clear of any financial responsibilities or child care/support.

Now Yes-I told her to think about adopting-that's a straight no. Option B is pretty simple-find another guy interested but She's very picky and her age is getting up there-basically running out of time before nature prevents her from having a kid.

My question to the forum-Does anyone know if this has been done before? I have to suspect it has been legally written up in some form.

Thanks

 

[LdiJ]

Hi There,
My girlfriend of 3+ years came to me today and said she wants a child (with me). However, she understands that I do not ever want children. She agreed that I A: Did not have to be financially responsible or even involved in the child's life in any way and B: Would be willing to sign a legal document stating I would be clear of any financial responsibilities or child care/support.

Now Yes-I told her to think about adopting-that's a straight no. Option B is pretty simple-find another guy interested but She's very picky and her age is getting up there-basically running out of time before nature prevents her from having a kid.

My question to the forum-Does anyone know if this has been done before? I have to suspect it has been legally written up in some form.

Thanks

Unfortunately it is unlikely to be a workable situation. You didn't give us your state name so you can only get a very general response, but it is not in the best interest of the state to allow one parent to sign away responsibility for a child. Your girlfriend should go to a sperm bank if she wants a child and wants you to have no responsibility.

 

[xylene]

It's probably time to find a new boyfriend.

 

[vp103]

Sorry-The State is NH. I understand the thought process of artificial insemination-however the price tag is hefty ($25k-35K). That is money that could be spent on child and its' well-being.
I'm open to the idea because she wants a child-I'm trying to clarify if a legal document would be possible that outlined the nature and relationship that I outlined above.

 

[xylene]

That's not what artificial insemination costs.

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry-The State is NH. I understand the thought process of artificial insemination-however the price tag is hefty ($25k-35K). That is money that could be spent on child and its' well-being.
I'm open to the idea because she wants a child-I'm trying to clarify if a legal document would be possible that outlined the nature and relationship that I outlined above.

I think that you were researching the wrong thing. I think that you were researching invitro services rather than artificial insemination. Artificial insemination is not particularly expensive at all.

 

[Zigner]

Sorry-The State is NH. I understand the thought process of artificial insemination-however the price tag is hefty ($25k-35K). That is money that could be spent on child and its' well-being.
I'm open to the idea because she wants a child-I'm trying to clarify if a legal document would be possible that outlined the nature and relationship that I outlined above.

No, such a document would not be legally binding.

 

[Just Blue]

Sorry-The State is NH. I understand the thought process of artificial insemination-however the price tag is hefty ($25k-35K). That is money that could be spent on child and its' well-being.
I'm open to the idea because she wants a child-I'm trying to clarify if a legal document would be possible that outlined the nature and relationship that I outlined above.

sigh...

You and she go to a Sperm Bank. The nice nurse gives you a magazine and a cup and directs you to a private room. You peruse said mag and do your thing into the cup. The cup is given back to the nice nurse. GF would be gifted your little swimmers per a simple procedure. This does NOT cost 25K. More like a few hundred as you are gifting the sperm and donor sperm is not needed.

This way it is done legally and you would have zero rights or obligations to the child.

 

[Zigner]

sigh...

You and she go to a Sperm Bank. The nice nurse gives you a magazine and a cup and directs you to a private room. You peruse said mag and do your thing into the cup. The cup is given back to the nice nurse. GF would be gifted your little swimmers per a simple procedure. This does NOT cost 25K.

This way it is done legally and you would have zero rights or obligations to the child.

In the scenario you describe, that is likely not to be true. A true anonymous sperm donor is one thing, but a known sperm donor who is in a relationship with the mother is entirely different.

 

[Just Blue]

In the scenario you describe, that is likely not to be true. A true anonymous sperm donor is one thing, but a known sperm donor who is in a relationship with the mother is entirely different.

Okay...Then OP should totally disregard my advice.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Hi There,
My girlfriend of 3+ years came to me today and said she wants a child (with me). However, she understands that I do not ever want children. She agreed that I A: Did not have to be financially responsible or even involved in the child's life in any way and B: Would be willing to sign a legal document stating I would be clear of any financial responsibilities or child care/support.

Now Yes-I told her to think about adopting-that's a straight no. Option B is pretty simple-find another guy interested but She's very picky and her age is getting up there-basically running out of time before nature prevents her from having a kid.

My question to the forum-Does anyone know if this has been done before? I have to suspect it has been legally written up in some form.

Thanks

Don't.

Just don't.

Here's the problem: what if your girlfriend sometime in the future hits some hard times and has to go on some form of state support? Then it is out of her hands - the state will want to be reimbursed for the cost of supporting your child, to the extent that you are able. It's happened.

If she's dead set against adopting and she's pushing 50, then I guess a sperm bank, etc. are her only options.

 

[adjusterjack]

Better make sure she doesn't poke holes in your condoms when you aren't looking.

 

[LdiJ]

Don't.

Just don't.

Here's the problem: what if your girlfriend sometime in the future hits some hard time and has to go on some form of state support? Then it is out of her hands - the state will want to be reimbursed for the cost of supporting your child, to the extent that you are able. It's happened.

If she's dead set against adopting and she's pushing 50, then I guess a sperm bank, etc. are her only options.

Maybe pushing 40-45 rather than 50.

 

[Zigner]

Hi There,
My girlfriend of 3+ years came to me today and said she wants a child (with me). However, she understands that I do not ever want children.

I also find it strange that you are planning now to end your relationship within the next year.


I have a feeling we're being trolled on this one.

 

[paddywakk]

Like I told my boys - if they don't want children, they take care of birth control. Not every woman is going to take "I don't want children" as an answer.