My wife divorced me, hid summons, and told me 5 months afterwards, we lived together the whole time

[Aaron210]

My wife of 8 years filled for divorce in Nov. 2017 and I was served at work, we went to court in Dec. But agreed to work on things. As far as I knew that's what we were doing, but in Oct. 2018 she filled again and in Nov she went to court and hid everything that came in the mail for me about it. Instead of serving me again her lawyer decided to send certified mail, knowing my work schedule so each time it came I never knew. In April this year she finally told me after I sensed something was wrong and told her to just tell me, this whole time we lived together and she has the decree which I have not seen yet and is at her parents, whom I know had something to do with everything, even paying for her lawyer. She will be moving out beginning of June with my daughter to her parents and everyday I am expected not to question any of it and I feel like I'm being stabbed in the heart every morning I wake up and see her. I am trying not to do anything I might regret and keep my focus at work I do still love her very much. I have not been able to find any similar situations for advice and I'm just looking for ideas for where to go from here. If it is helps I live in Texas.

 

[Just Blue]

My wife of 8 years filled for divorce in Nov. 2017 and I was served at work, we went to court in Dec. But agreed to work on things. As far as I knew that's what we were doing, but in Oct. 2018 she filled again and in Nov she went to court and hid everything that came in the mail for me about it. Instead of serving me again her lawyer decided to send certified mail, knowing my work schedule so each time it came I never knew. In April this year she finally told me after I sensed something was wrong and told her to just tell me, this whole time we lived together and she has the decree I have not seen yet at her parents, whom I know had something to do with everything, even paying for her lawyer. She will be moving out beginning of June with my daughter to her parents and everyday I am expected not to question any of it and I feel like I'm being stabbed in the heart every morning I wake up and see her. I am trying not to do anything I might regret and keep my focus at work I do still love her very much. I have not been able to find any similar situations for advice and I'm just looking for ideas for where to go from here.

You need to hire an attorney.

 

[Aaron210]

You need to hire an attorney.

Thank you for your reply, I figured that would be the best course of action. I just don't know what kind of outcome I should expect and I really don't want to spend a lot of time in court even though I know the way her attorney went about things was probably illegal or shady at the least.

 

[justalayman]

Thank you for your reply, I figured that would be the best course of action. I just don't know what kind of outcome I should expect and I really don't want to spend a lot of time in court even though I know the way her attorney went about things was probably illegal or shady at the least.

It’s difficult to guess at an outcome because nobody here knows anything about your situation and nobody here knows how the divorce was dealt with in court and if your wife lied in any court documents.

For the divorce to be final, it would have to have been by default since you weren’t involved. If she lied about your whereabouts or,anything else, and especially given the fact she withheld your mail about the mattter, I wouldn’t expect a court to be too happy with her.

 

[xylene]

What do YOU want? (besides not spending a lot of time in court - since that objective is already achieved)

Forcing your wife to stay is not on the table.

Are you unhappy with the property settlement? The custody arrangements?

I am expected not to question any of it

This is not a legal issue and one you need to seek counseling for. It seems you got blindsided, and part of it may be your passive nature - the whole bit with you thinking your marriage was fixing itself and even still not wanting to go to court despite having gotten railroaded.

Go ahead and start busting up some expectations man. Number 1 this still in love business, cause she does NOT reciprocate.

 

[Aaron210]

I appreciate everyone's advice, I know there's not a lot to go by but I don't have all the details myself. I know counseling would be beneficial and I don't know her true intentions of everything. For the last year we (or I, as it turns out) have been working on things together and I did not expect anything to fix itself, just to clarify. I know my best answers can probably only come from sitting down with a lawyer and going over everything but again I do appreciate those that replied. I guess I was just looking for some guidance for what I already knew the answer to, but mostly the legal reprecussions if any, for her lawyer who is supposed to uphold the law and knowingly did things behind my back, and also for my ex-wife. I will finally have some time after this weekend to get away from work to go and get a copy of the decree but I have not seen it yet.
Again thank you all for your help and any further suggestions or advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[LdiJ]

I appreciate everyone's advice, I know there's not a lot to go by but I don't have all the details myself. I know counseling would be beneficial and I don't know her true intentions of everything. For the last year we (or I, as it turns out) have been working on things together and I did not expect anything to fix itself, just to clarify. I know my best answers can probably only come from sitting down with a lawyer and going over everything but again I do appreciate those that replied. I guess I was just looking for some guidance for what I already knew the answer to, but mostly the legal reprecussions if any, for her lawyer who is supposed to uphold the law and knowingly did things behind my back, and also for my ex-wife. I will finally have some time after this weekend to get away from work to go and get a copy of the decree but I have not seen it yet.
Again thank you all for your help and any further suggestions or advice is greatly appreciated.

The reality of things is that your marriage is over. You are divorced and that isn't going to change. What could change is the property settlement (division of assets) or the custody orders regarding your child. Of course, that is assuming that either of them are unreasonable.

 

[stealth2]

So, wait. You've known about this for at least a month (I'll assume the end of April rather than the beginning) and you haven't even gone to look at the order? Do you not even (officially) know what was ordered with regards to your child and your time with her? Really? Get thee to a lawyer first thing on Tuesday.

 

[cbg]

I swear this guy posted "down the street" a few years ago. Right state, right passive-aggressive tone. The only thing that doesn't match is that the guy in the other forum had two kids, but even there by the ages he gave and the time that's passed the son would be 18 or older by now.

Dude, your marriage has been over for years.