CA - Audio recording minor child in my own home

[Just Blue]

My son came over to try to corner me into caving on the court case. He kept asking “are you going to let me choose where I want to live or not” “I’m just trying to do what’s in my best interests” “the things that made me want to not live here are one time you snapped at me when your car overheated last summer, you don’t show me enough love, you still had sex with my father after you were divorced, you could have a better job but you don’t even try”

I didn’t guide this conversation. I let him say his piece while I was an active listener. At one point, I said “but you lied” he responded with “yes, I lied because I thought it would be better for everyone. So everyone would think I was a happy normal kid that wanted to go to college and s&!t, but I don’t”

Your son need therapy and his "toys" revoked for speaking to you that way.

 

[arkera]

Trust me, everyone in therapy together and separately needs to happen. But the trial date is coming up, and the allegations that I’m abusing our child are destroying me. Taking my time from 50% to zero are destroying me. Time will mend this, but I’m freaking out that no one is believing that I am incapable of hurting my child. I screw up, yes, but I don’t lose my mind and turn to violence like he’s stated.

 

[arkera]

Your son need therapy and his "toys" revoked for speaking to you that way.

I have no sway over him at this time, his father has full temporary custody pending the outcome of the upcoming trial. There is nothing I can take away. I’ve seen him twice in five months, once so he could pick up some of his things, and once so he could tell me that I’m a horrible parent.

 

[quincy]

I have no sway over him at this time, his father has full temporary custody pending the outcome of the upcoming trial. There is nothing I can take away. I’ve seen him twice in five months, once so he could pick up some of his things, and once so he could tell me that I’m a horrible parent.

If you don't already have an attorney, get one.

 

[Just Blue]

I have no sway over him at this time, his father has full temporary custody pending the outcome of the upcoming trial. There is nothing I can take away. I’ve seen him twice in five months, once so he could pick up some of his things, and once so he could tell me that I’m a horrible parent.

I'm sorry...I know this must be terrible for you.

 

[stealth2]

I agree that you absolutely need an attorney.

 

[arkera]

This is a really fancy way of saying "my way or the highway" in approaches to child rearing.

You can expect people to be intractable when you are intractable. Your son is or is going to be in high school.

I didn't understand your comment... I was trying to say that the parents (me and dad) who have more experience and perspective should lead, and the children follow.

I was not implying that I am the more experienced parent, so therefore dad should listen to me.

Or were you saying that parents should not be calling the shots, for some reason?

 

[Zigner]

I was not implying that I am the more experienced parent, so therefore dad should listen to me.

That was exactly what was inferred. You are right, the parents are the parents and the children are the children.

 

[arkera]

If you don't already have an attorney, get one.

@quincy and @stealth2 - I started with an attorney, but she cost thousands of dollars just to write up a statement (or help me write up my statement) and that I was still "pro se" which I guess means on my own. Ex doesn't have an attorney, because he thinks this is open and shut. I love all my kids but I have three younger and a tight budget. I don't have another $5k to throw at someone who put forth very little effort and still somehow made me feel like this was an impossible climb. But that was before this recording... now it's not so much son said mom said...

I really just hope I can play this for the judge and that the abuse part of the case will disintegrate, and the custody go at least back to 50/50.

 

[stealth2]

@quincy and @stealth2 - I started with an attorney, but she cost thousands of dollars just to write up a statement (or help me write up my statement) and that I was still "pro se" which I guess means on my own. Ex doesn't have an attorney, because he thinks this is open and shut. I love all my kids but I have three younger and a tight budget. I don't have another $5k to throw at someone who put forth very little effort and still somehow made me feel like this was an impossible climb. But that was before this recording... now it's not so much son said mom said...

I really just hope I can play this for the judge and that the abuse part of the case will disintegrate, and the custody go at least back to 50/50.

However, a lawyer will be able to listen to the tape and tell you more definitively whether it is admissible or not.

 

[arkera]

However, a lawyer will be able to listen to the tape and tell you more definitively whether it is admissible or not.

Understood. Maybe an hour of her time in the next couple days isn’t a bad idea.

Thank you all for your advice and support.

 

[bcr229]

An attorney would also know the process to get the recording entered into evidence, if it can be.