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Establishing Court Order Child Custody for My Son

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profound

Member
Hi All

My question involves a child custody case from the State of Maryland

My son is currently living with my mother for the past 2+ years. Past 2 summer, I had him going to summer school to keep him active. This summer, I decided to have him spend the summer with his mother since she isn't working and also told me about a summer camp she will register him for. During the whole summer, he barely went to the camp because 1, no one was able to take him 2, his mother is pregnant and couldn't leave due to some medical conditions cause by the pregnancy 3, the boyfriend is too busy. He spends the weekend with him. Although he stays with my mother, I live less than 15 minutes away and visit often throughout the week and also involved with his school such as helping him with his homework and interacting with the school teacher. His mother stays about 45 mins away and stops by every now and then. She doesn't work so I have to provide things such as food and my mother also does. She does Uber every now and then and she has bought food and shoes for him. Fast toward to almost a month ago, the school contacted me to tell me that a transfer was completed to another county where the mother stays. I contacted her and she told me she want him to move with him. She also went over my mother's house and took all his cloths and also asked me for his cloth. Initially, she told me she doesn't have any cloth for him at her house for him to stay during the summer.

My son is 10 and he was staying with his mother almost 3 years ago prior to moving in with my mother. The reason why he was staying with my mother is because I work full time and was also was a student. My mother decided to help out. Prior to him moving out this way, he was staying with him mother for 2 years at an apartment which was under my name. I decided to get them an apartment after I moved on because I didn't want her living with most of her relatives that does drugs, smoke, drink and also being exposed to negativity. After I took my son, I found out she left the apartment with 3 months of unpaid rent. Now I have collection agencies after me. She had lost her job and doing Uber wasn't even to pay her rent and car note.

Thats the history. Now, again the school called about the transfer and she told me she want him back. He doesn't want to live with her. He like the school where he is at now and dont want to move away from his friends. He text me each week about how he want me to come get him and the boyfriend threaten to smash the video game system I bought him if he plays it again.

School starts in about 3 weeks and I will like for him to stay with me. There is no court order at the moment and we were never married. I can pick him up whenever. I contacted few lawyers, however, they can't help much but suggest I should establish child custody through the court system. Another suggest I keep him and dont let her have him for now until I establish court order child custody. Not sure how that is going to work since I have to work and summer school/camps are over with. I am not sure if I can go to the new school and stop the transfer or not. His current school told me they can't do nothing about it.

Little history on her. She abused him when he was 4 or 5 by hitting him in the face with an object and leaving him bloody because he got out of his car seat while she was driving on a suspended tag. . Her explanation was because he was doing too much and she wasn't trying to get pulled over. She doesn't know how to talk to him properly without using foul language towards him or belittle him with words. I had temp custody back then and also restraining order in place. I dropped both less than a month because family talked me into it. We were together for almost 10 years so we both had strong relationship between our families. She supposedly expunged the CPS on her record or was trying to. She dont have a job and Uber is sometimes her only source of income for almost 10 years now. When he is over there, she leaves him home alone or with his older sister and they both dont get along. He will show me scratches from the older sister whenever they are both left alone. She is 15 now. She recently met an undocumented guy. She use to tell people she is concern perhaps he's only with her for marriage so he can get a green card. They just had a baby, 2 car note and insurance, rent and other bills. I am being told she only want my son living with her so she can either ask me for money or claim child support to help cover bills. All this time she haven't had him I have never asked her for a dime.

I just need some help and advice on how to handle this before school starts in less than a month.

Thank you
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
As you and the mother of this child have abdicated your rolls of parent to your mother, you will need an attorney to sort the mess.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
You were never married therefore MOM is the only one with enforceable legal rights. You and your mother have both been irresponsible. If you had cared enough, you would have gotten legal rights in the last ten 10 years and not allowed things to lapse. Mom has done nothing illegal.
 

profound

Member
Can you please explain how being married gives mom the only enforceable legal rights to a child? As far as I know neither one of us have any legal rights to him at the moment. We both were living together, things didn't work so I moved on, got a place for them and helped. She was struggling and decided its best for him to stay with me. I am not sure how you made a fair assessment that my mother and I were both irresponsible. Please explain. Thank you for commenting btw.
 

profound

Member
You were never married therefore MOM is the only one with enforceable legal rights. You and your mother have both been irresponsible. If you had cared enough, you would have gotten legal rights in the last ten 10 years and not allowed things to lapse. Mom has done nothing illegal.
Also, last time I checked an unmarried father has the same rights as a married father, An unmarried father has rights to Custody, visitation, and decisions regarding a child's upbringing. And again, neither parent has any such enforceable legal rights since there is no court order in place.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
Can you please explain how being married gives mom the only enforceable legal rights to a child? As far as I know neither one of us have any legal rights to him at the moment. We both were living together, things didn't work so I moved on, got a place for them and helped. She was struggling and decided its best for him to stay with me. I am not sure how you made a fair assessment that my mother and I were both irresponsible. Please explain. Thank you for commenting btw.
The mother has legal rights by default because there is no doubt the child came out of her. Hence her legal rights.

You, on the other hand, have no assumed legal rights because you were not married at the time. I'm surprised you didn't run into problems when you enrolled your child in school.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Also, last time I checked an unmarried father has the same rights as a married father, An unmarried father has rights to Custody, visitation, and decisions regarding a child's upbringing.
Your statement is not correct, but you need to understand why. The LEGAL PARENTS of the child share certain rights equally. At this point, you do not appear to be the legal father (different from the biological). Even if you are the legal father, that just gives you the right to petition the court for custody and visitation.
And again, neither parent has any such enforceable legal rights since there is no court order in place.
Actually, you're wrong there - I'm not sure why you believe that.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Can you please explain how being married gives mom the only enforceable legal rights to a child? As far as I know neither one of us have any legal rights to him at the moment. We both were living together, things didn't work so I moved on, got a place for them and helped. She was struggling and decided its best for him to stay with me. I am not sure how you made a fair assessment that my mother and I were both irresponsible. Please explain. Thank you for commenting btw.
You posted: There is no court order at the moment and we were never married.

YOU WERE NEVER MARRIED. Hence only mom has rights.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Also, last time I checked an unmarried father has the same rights as a married father, An unmarried father has rights to Custody, visitation, and decisions regarding a child's upbringing. And again, neither parent has any such enforceable legal rights since there is no court order in place.
Well you were wrong the last time you checked. You have the right to petition for those things. Mother is the only default legal custodian. Educate yourself.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Hi All

My question involves a child custody case from the State of Maryland

My son is currently living with my mother for the past 2+ years. Past 2 summer, I had him going to summer school to keep him active. This summer, I decided to have him spend the summer with his mother since she isn't working and also told me about a summer camp she will register him for. During the whole summer, he barely went to the camp because 1, no one was able to take him 2, his mother is pregnant and couldn't leave due to some medical conditions cause by the pregnancy 3, the boyfriend is too busy. He spends the weekend with him. Although he stays with my mother, I live less than 15 minutes away and visit often throughout the week and also involved with his school such as helping him with his homework and interacting with the school teacher. His mother stays about 45 mins away and stops by every now and then. She doesn't work so I have to provide things such as food and my mother also does. She does Uber every now and then and she has bought food and shoes for him. Fast toward to almost a month ago, the school contacted me to tell me that a transfer was completed to another county where the mother stays. I contacted her and she told me she want him to move with him. She also went over my mother's house and took all his cloths and also asked me for his cloth. Initially, she told me she doesn't have any cloth for him at her house for him to stay during the summer.

My son is 10 and he was staying with his mother almost 3 years ago prior to moving in with my mother. The reason why he was staying with my mother is because I work full time and was also was a student. My mother decided to help out. Prior to him moving out this way, he was staying with him mother for 2 years at an apartment which was under my name. I decided to get them an apartment after I moved on because I didn't want her living with most of her relatives that does drugs, smoke, drink and also being exposed to negativity. After I took my son, I found out she left the apartment with 3 months of unpaid rent. Now I have collection agencies after me. She had lost her job and doing Uber wasn't even to pay her rent and car note.

Thats the history. Now, again the school called about the transfer and she told me she want him back. He doesn't want to live with her. He like the school where he is at now and dont want to move away from his friends. He text me each week about how he want me to come get him and the boyfriend threaten to smash the video game system I bought him if he plays it again.

School starts in about 3 weeks and I will like for him to stay with me. There is no court order at the moment and we were never married. I can pick him up whenever. I contacted few lawyers, however, they can't help much but suggest I should establish child custody through the court system. Another suggest I keep him and dont let her have him for now until I establish court order child custody. Not sure how that is going to work since I have to work and summer school/camps are over with. I am not sure if I can go to the new school and stop the transfer or not. His current school told me they can't do nothing about it.

Little history on her. She abused him when he was 4 or 5 by hitting him in the face with an object and leaving him bloody because he got out of his car seat while she was driving on a suspended tag. . Her explanation was because he was doing too much and she wasn't trying to get pulled over. She doesn't know how to talk to him properly without using foul language towards him or belittle him with words. I had temp custody back then and also restraining order in place. I dropped both less than a month because family talked me into it. We were together for almost 10 years so we both had strong relationship between our families. She supposedly expunged the CPS on her record or was trying to. She dont have a job and Uber is sometimes her only source of income for almost 10 years now. When he is over there, she leaves him home alone or with his older sister and they both dont get along. He will show me scratches from the older sister whenever they are both left alone. She is 15 now. She recently met an undocumented guy. She use to tell people she is concern perhaps he's only with her for marriage so he can get a green card. They just had a baby, 2 car note and insurance, rent and other bills. I am being told she only want my son living with her so she can either ask me for money or claim child support to help cover bills. All this time she haven't had him I have never asked her for a dime.

I just need some help and advice on how to handle this before school starts in less than a month.

Thank you
This is a really messed up situation and I don't think that there is any hope of it being resolved before school starts. The child hasn't been living with you and therefore its not status quo for you to have physical custody of the child. Its status quo that grandma has physical custody of the child. You admit that with your work and school schedule that you cannot care for the child, therefore mom would make that argument against you having primary custody in court.

What you need is to find a way that you can keep your child with you, and then file to establish custody in court. This is something that should have been done years ago. Get yourself an immediate consult with a local family law attorney. Even if you end up not hiring one and going it alone, you still need that initial consult.

Even if you were to keep the child and refuse to return him to mom, mom could just pick him up from your mother again and she could not refuse to turn the child over to a parent. You NEED things established in court. Expect that to take at least six months.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
If you called about your child being stable, you would have made sure you had court orders to protect the situation and provide for your child in the current situation. you didn't. Nor did your mother file for custody as both you and mother abdicated your parenting to her. Hence, you were both legally irresponsible. Those are facts.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
This is a really messed up situation and I don't think that there is any hope of it being resolved before school starts. The child hasn't been living with you and therefore its not status quo for you to have physical custody of the child. Its status quo that grandma has physical custody of the child. You admit that with your work and school schedule that you cannot care for the child, therefore mom would make that argument against you having primary custody in court.

What you need is to find a way that you can keep your child with you, and then file to establish custody in court. This is something that should have been done years ago. Get yourself an immediate consult with a local family law attorney. Even if you end up not hiring one and going it alone, you still need that initial consult.

Even if you were to keep the child and refuse to return him to mom, mom could just pick him up from your mother again and she could not refuse to turn the child over to a parent. You NEED things established in court. Expect that to take at least six months.
Don't listen to LD. The ONLY way you get to keep your child with you is with a court order. That doesn't mean you can get temporary custody of your child and put him with your mother. LD doesn't know of what she speaks. First comes the court order. Only way you can legally prevent mom from doing what she has done.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
We may need to back off the OP.

Maryland seems to have some unusual laws in this regard or at least they have been interpreted strangely by several Maryland legal sites I've found. I'm trying to find the specific laws.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Lets go with the law:
aryland Statutes

FAMILY LAW

Title 5. CHILDREN

Subtitle 10. PATERNITY PROCEEDINGS

Part V. HEARING ON COMPLAINT




Current with effective changes from the 2019 Legislative Session



§ 5-1028. Affidavit of parentage; requirements; legal finding of paternity; regulations



(a) Unmarried parents shall be provided an opportunity to execute an affidavit of parentage in the manner provided under § 4-208 of the Health - General Article.
(b) The affidavit shall be completed on a standardized form developed by the Department.
(c)
(1) The completed affidavit of parentage form shall contain:
(i) in ten point boldface type a statement that the affidavit is a legal document and constitutes a legal finding of parentage;
(ii) the full name and the place and date of birth of the child;
(iii) the full name of the attesting parent who did not give birth to the child;
(iv) the full name of the attesting mother of the child;
(v) the signatures of the parents of the child attesting, under penalty of perjury, that the information provided on the affidavit is true and correct;
(vi)a statement by the mother consenting to the assertion of parentage and acknowledging that :
1. the mother's cosignatory is the only possible father of the child; or
2. the mother and the mother's cosignatory consented to the conception of the child by means of assisted reproduction with the shared intent to be the parents of the child ;
(vii)a statement by the individual who did not give birth to the child that :
1. the individual is the father of the child; or
2. the individual and the child's mother consented to the conception of the child by means of assisted reproduction with the shared intent to be the parents of the child; and
(viii) the Social Security numbers provided by each of the parents.
(2) Before completing an affidavit of parentage form, the unmarried parents shall be advised orally and in writing of the legal consequences of executing the affidavit and of the benefit of seeking legal counsel.
(d)
(1) An executed affidavit of parentage constitutes a legal finding of parentage, subject to the right of any signatory to rescind the affidavit:
(i) in writing within 60 days after execution of the affidavit; or
(ii) in a judicial proceeding relating to the child:
1. in which the signatory is a party; and
2. that occurs before the expiration of the 60-day period.
(2)
(i) After the expiration of the 60-day period, an executed affidavit of parentage may be challenged in court only on the basis of fraud, duress, or material mistake of fact.
(ii) The burden of proof shall be on the challenger to show fraud, duress, or material mistake of fact.
(iii) The legal responsibilities of any signatory arising from the affidavit, including child support obligations, may not be suspended during the challenge, except for good cause shown.
(e) The Administration shall prepare written information to be furnished to unmarried mothers under § 4-208 of the Health - General Article concerning the benefits of having the parentage of their children established, including the availability of child support enforcement services.
(f) The Department shall make the standardized affidavit forms available to all hospitals in the State.
(g) The Secretary, in consultation with the Maryland Department of Health and the Maryland Hospital Association, shall adopt regulations governing the provisions of this section and § 4-208 of the Health - General Article.
 

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