Ex-Wife gets OVI and Child endangerment charge with son in car.

[stealth2]

Are people not understanding that the crash happened. I was told it was a minor incident and was lied to about the situation. It is not as if she told me or I was aware she got into a crash and was charge with OVI and Child Endangerment. Of course if I knew I would have taken action, just as I did the moment I found out about it.

This thought that i had some sort of omnipotence of the situation is just untrue. So I did not sit on my hands with it.

Sorry if i'm being blunt, years in my military have made me this way.

I just don't understand how it could be perceived that I was sit on the situation when I had no idea the situation had occurred. Makes no logical sense to me. But I recognize the fact that I am not a lawyer. That is why I decided to go with what my lawyer has stated and wait until after the trial. If a conviction comes forth, from my lawyers perception, I have a better foundation to lay my argument for full custody.

I think what you're not understanding is that you have an OH lawyer/GAL replying to you here. If you want to argue with her? Feel free.

 

[fatherC04]

Your child was in a car accident. You didn't want to know the extent of injuries? A minor accident can still result in bruising or whiplash for a child. You didn't want to know who treated him after the accident? You didn't think the police would have been called? You didn't ask where the accident took place? My ex husband was in an accident without our daughter and I still knew where the accident took place, when, and what the outcome was. If my child had been involved, I would have been in touch with every city in the county in the next few days and if there was no report, I would have been calling my ex demanding more facts. Why? Because that is what a responsible adult and parent does.

I did ask questions, I asked all these questions but was met with nothing but "its none of your business" . As I stated before I was sandbagged every question I asked. Honestly, seems like whomever posts in these gets negative responses sent back. I talked to my lawyer and she stated that there was not much I could do until after the trial. You can judge all you want and question whether you think I am a bad parent, considering your tone that the type of person you seem to be regardless. I try not to judge a person without knowing the facts, but hey, you do you.

As far as the police question, I stated I talked to the OOD at the time and he said it is not procedure for them to find out if there is another parent. He stated the person charged (my ex) was asked if someone could pick up my son and she called her boyfriend.

You say that I handled the situation in the wrong way, I say that is your opinion. You are entitled to that opinion. But do not speak to me as if I am a father who is not responsible. At that point you lose what initial respect and honestly I expect better from a lawyer/person in power.

You can state your a lawyer, but I don't know if that is the case. I do however know what my lawyer has advised me to do. As I stated before this occurred in a different city, IN A DIFFERENT county.

My ex is not very helpful when it comes to questions, even if it pertains to our child. She acts as if she is the more important parent.

Honestly, I didn't post on this website thinking I would be put through the ringer because you think you would have handled the situation better. I handled it the best way I could. But, I have the foresight to see people on a keyboard seem to always have the answers. Someone behind a screen is usually way different than they are in person.

All I can say is my family lawyer advised me to wait it out until a conviction and the moment I found out what occurred I acted.

 

[fatherC04]

I think what you're not understanding is that you have an OH lawyer/GAL replying to you here. If you want to argue with her? Feel free.

How am I not understanding that?

It is clear I understand that. If I respond to you, my response is meant for you.

 

[stealth2]

Okay, perhaps a different track. When the court or her lawyer asks why you feel a modification is needed now, when for 6+ mos your son has been fine with Mom on her time - what will your response be? Expect both her lawyer and the court will not be touchy-feely. (*I* would also leave your fiancee out of the picture.)

 

[fatherC04]

I will say that for months I was lied to about the crash and the circumstances that surrounded it. I was not made aware of the emergency at the time. (if she is convicted) I will remind them that she was just convicted of child endangerment and OVI (possibly 2) and that when I found out through my own research and will and not by her communication that this occurred that I was advised by not one, but two lawyers that I had to wait until after her trial to act.

I will say I have text messages after I found out asking her about the situation and her admitting to me she lied because she hoped that would blow over and I would not find out. All of this proving that she has more care for her own skin, than that of being a valuable teammate when it comes to raising our child. That I do not do any of this out of hate for her, but rather the safety and well being of my son.

 

[fatherC04]

Okay, perhaps a different track. When the court or her lawyer asks why you feel a modification is needed now, when for 6+ mos your son has been fine with Mom on her time - what will your response be? Expect both her lawyer and the court will not be touchy-feely. (*I* would also leave your fiancee out of the picture.)

My question would be why in this forum would you be so willing to defend a mother whom drove drunk, rather than a father who was lied to for months and now after finding out work tirelessly to find answers and solutions.

 

[stealth2]

My question would be why in this forum would you be so willing to defend a mother whom drove drunk, rather than a father who was lied to for months and now after finding out work tirelessly to find answers and solutions.

We're not here to defend either of you. *I* am here to help you prepare for what will likely be a nasty fight. Because you will not be greeted by a flower-strewn aisle, serenaded with violins, or given tea & crumpets. You will be under fire from many sides. And, you should be aware, that courts tend to dislike (a) excuses and (b) bashing of the other parent. So start working on that...

In all honesty, I'm surprised that your lawyer didn't suggest a mod to include no alcohol consumption during either parent's custodial time last summer, with a custody mod after (presumed) conviction. Honestly, if you'd posted here at that point, I - and I suspect several others - would have suggested that.

I'm also going to say that, absent any injury to your son, the court may not consider a 24-hour delay in informing you egregious. Might just be me, but you should be prepared.

 

[Ohiogal]

My question would be why in this forum would you be so willing to defend a mother whom drove drunk, rather than a father who was lied to for months and now after finding out work tirelessly to find answers and solutions.

No one is defending mother. We are trying to get you to understand reality and legal realism.

 

[not2cleverRed]

My question would be why in this forum would you be so willing to defend a mother whom drove drunk, rather than a father who was lied to for months and now after finding out work tirelessly to find answers and solutions.

I am going to try and use tiny words.

1) Do you think that this the only time that Mom has ever driven drunk.

2) Do you think the accident scared her straight, or is she still driving drunk?

 

[stealth2]

I'm also going to say that, absent any injury to your son, the court may not consider a 24-hour delay in informing you egregious. Might just be me, but you should be prepared.

Thinking further on this... the language of the order wrt this notification is likely very important. Given that your son was not injured, the court may not consider it an emergency that would fall under the ordered notification. And.... the police are correct. Mom gave them the name of a responsible adult to pick the boy up, during her custodial time. She likely was under no obligation (legally) to give them your name.

Honestly, I understand that you don't like much of what you'rereading. But.... I always feel it's better to know the worst and be able to prepare than to be blindsided...

 

[fatherC04]

Thinking further on this... the language of the order wrt this notification is likely very important. Given that your son was not injured, the court may not consider it an emergency that would fall under the ordered notification. And.... the police are correct. Mom gave them the name of a responsible adult to pick the boy up, during her custodial time. She likely was under no obligation (legally) to give them your name.

Honestly, I understand that you don't like much of what you'rereading. But.... I always feel it's better to know the worst and be able to prepare than to be blindsided...

The police had no idea of the custody agreement. They simply asked her if the boys father, or someone could pick him up. She picked her new boyfriend (5th since our divorce three and a half years ago). But yes, she was no under any legal obligation to give them my name. Even though, as a father, you can sympathize with concern and anger.

At any rate, this situation is serious and I have handled it seriously. The previous posts in this threat have questioned how serious I was without knowing the full extent of everything. Pretty surprising to say the least, especially someone who claims to be a lawyer. I would have expected more professionalism.

Being as I already fought a two year custody battle, I am ready for what is to come. The life that my son lives with my fiance and I is staunchly different than the one he lives with his mother.

The situation is clear in my mind. My ex put my son's life at risk. She knowingly and has admitted to me that she drank all day and then drove my son putting his life at risk and the individual that she hit. Pretty open and closed case. I just have to wait for the conviction.

The odds will be stacked against her. No sane person will see this and defend her actions.

 

[stealth2]

The police had no idea of the custody agreement. They simply asked her if the boys father, or someone could pick him up. She picked her new boyfriend (5th since our divorce three and a half years ago). But yes, she was no under any legal obligation to give them my name. Even though, as a father, you can sympathize with concern and anger.

At any rate, this situation is serious and I have handled it seriously. The previous posts in this threat have questioned how serious I was without knowing the full extent of everything. Pretty surprising to say the least, especially someone who claims to be a lawyer. I would have expected more professionalism.

Being as I already fought a two year custody battle, I am ready for what is to come. The life that my son lives with my fiance and I is staunchly different than the one he lives with his mother.

The situation is clear in my mind. My ex put my son's life at risk. She knowingly and has admitted to me that she drank all day and then drove my son putting his life at risk and the individual that she hit. Pretty open and closed case. I just have to wait for the conviction.

The odds will be stacked against her. No sane person will see this and defend her actions.

I think you may well be surprised, conviction or no.

 

[fatherC04]

I think you may well be surprised, conviction or no.

That is your opinion. Everyone is entitled to one. I don't know why you think that, but hey always take random key wranglers opinions with a grain of salt, eh?
I only question your statement because a parent getting a child endangerment conviction is nothing but bad news.

 

[stealth2]

That is your opinion. Everyone is entitled to one. I don't know why you think that, but hey always take random key wranglers opinions with a grain of salt, eh?
I only question your statement because a parent getting a child endangerment conviction is nothing but bad news.

I can see her being required to take parenting classes, go to some type of counseling, having to abstain from drinking during her custodial time, having to take random alcohol screenings. But if there have been no other incidents since July? It may not include a change in custody.

I do hope you'll update us, regardless of the outcome.

 

[fatherC04]

I honestly wished I found out when it actually occurred. We were nothing short of shocked when we found out. I reached out to my ex and was met with more lies until I sent her the police report I found online. Then she tried to tell me that she did in fact text me about it the next morning, not knowing that I took screen shots of that conversation as well as I found it to be suspicious. Like I said, we searched for her records and could not find them. It wasn't until after I found out what city her boyfriend lived in that I was able to find where it occurred. I was also told it takes some time for those records to become public.

I found out because when going to pick up my son one day she was on the phone with what I believe was her sister explaining to her sister that she was going to use the Child Support I pay to try and get me to agree to let my son move with her to a different county, which is against our parenting plan and not what we agreed. When I overheard the city, I decided to look into their municipal court and that is when I found out about the charges against her.