Lookforward
Active Member
Let her try to coach. It's not (or at least should not be) admissible. It *does* put the kids in the middle.
You responded as gracefully as you could, given the situation.
I suppose you could say, "There are many kinds of families." Or something else neutral and noncommittal.
This is very tough for the kids. Try as hard as you can not to be negative about Mom. I know that there was one time my preschooler parroted something "Daddy says -" and all I could say at the moment was, "Well, that's not nice." You can't always hide the acrimony. But you can do what you can to not put them in the middle as a pawn.
It sounds like your lawyer is giving you sound advice. Coaching the kids is useless from a legal point of view, because good judges don't want children to be put in the middle, feeling like they have to choosing one parent over the other. There are exceptions, where a judge will talk to a child - being that exception is not good.
Coaching the kids is bad from an emotional point of view.
Do your best to not stoop to saying anything negative about the other parent. Do your best not to comment about your opinion(s) about child custody around the kids.
When my daughter says something I can tell whether it's coached or not because of her age and the words she uses.Let her try to coach. It's not (or at least should not be) admissible. It *does* put the kids in the middle.
You responded as gracefully as you could, given the situation.
I suppose you could say, "There are many kinds of families." Or something else neutral and noncommittal.
This is very tough for the kids. Try as hard as you can not to be negative about Mom. I know that there was one time my preschooler parroted something "Daddy says -" and all I could say at the moment was, "Well, that's not nice." You can't always hide the acrimony. But you can do what you can to not put them in the middle as a pawn.
It sounds like your lawyer is giving you sound advice. Coaching the kids is useless from a legal point of view, because good judges don't want children to be put in the middle, feeling like they have to choose one parent over the other. There are exceptions, where a judge will talk to a child - being that exception is not good.
Coaching the kids is bad from an emotional point of view.
Do your best to not stoop to saying anything negative about the other parent. Do your best not to comment about your opinion(s) about child custody around the kids.
I am sure Judges who have spent years on the bench have seen everything and more.
I wouldn't say anything negative now or ever about their mom. I understand the impact of words on kids and I also understand that this kind of behavior will backfire once the kids are in their teens. Kids will remember when you bad mouth your dad or mom and they can call you on it which will be extremely hurtful.