New Husband Adoption/Will Bio Dad Find Out (eta *or do i need to inform)**

[FootballersWife]

Living in California after moving from Seattle and before that Texas. Kid was born in Colorado where divorce and c.s established. He lives in New York.

I want my husband to adopt my 11 year old (he does too) but does my ex, who has not seen my daughter since January 2014, get a say in this? Child support (only 600$) is paid each month, but literally no calls and doesn't know where we live now but can easily find me on fb, Instagram, or through my Mother's fb.

Also, when we go through with adoption, will support stop or can I still receive that even though my husband is now the legal dad?

Before anyone asks, he cannot see our child as he made it clear he don't want her when he requested paternity back in 2016. Too late!!! He signed the birth certificate and we were married.

 

[Eekamouse]

Living in California after moving from Seattle and before that Texas. Kid was born in Colorado where divorce and c.s established. He lives in New York.

I want my husband to adopt my daughter (he does too) but does my ex, who has not seen my daughter since January 2014, get a say in this? Child support (only 600$) is paid each month, but literally no calls and doesn't know where we live now but can easily find me on fb, Instagram, or through my Mother's fb.

Also, when we go through with adoption, will support stop or can I still receive that even though my husband is now the legal dad?

What makes you think you could have your current husband adopt your daughter without the knowledge of your ex-husband? And you still expect him to pay you child support after an adoption? There's so much more I'd like to say to you but I don't have the time right now. Please pay attention to what everyone else says to you. You deserve every word.

 

[Just Blue]

Living in California after moving from Seattle and before that Texas. Kid was born in Colorado where divorce and c.s established. He lives in New York.

I want my husband to adopt my 11 year old (he does too) but does my ex, who has not seen my daughter since January 2014, get a say in this? Child support (only 600$) is paid each month, but literally no calls and doesn't know where we live now but can easily find me on fb, Instagram, or through my Mother's fb.

Also, when we go through with adoption, will support stop or can I still receive that even though my husband is now the legal dad?

Before anyone asks, he cannot see our child as he made it clear he don't want her when he requested paternity back in 2016. Too late!!! He signed the birth certificate and we were married.

1. Does your husband actually want to adopt your child?
2. Was the child's father notified of your numerous address changes?
3. Is there a custody order in place? Please clarify your comment "he cannot see our child"...Did a court order that or are you refusing his right to visit with his child?
4. Why do you wish to hide the adoption from the child's father?
5. Why would you think that you would continue to get child support if he is no longer the father of the child?

The father will have to give permission for the adoption. He would have to be served. IF he agrees to terminate his parental rights and the adoption is completed, his child support will end.

 

[FootballersWife]

1. Does your husband actually want to adopt your child? Yes. We have discussed this at length, he identifies her as his child.
2. Was the child's father notified of your numerous address changes? No, I don't know his address.
3. Is there a custody order in place? Please clarify your comment "he cannot see our child"...Did a court order that or are you refusing his right to visit with his child? He stopped trying to see her back when he shocked up with his fiancée and their baby.
4. Why do you wish to hide the adoption from the child's father? I don't necessarily wish to do this but I don't think he deserves to have a choice. He only pays for her, doesn't contribute any other way. Only pays because it is deducted, he wasn't paying until maybe 4 years ago, he did pay off arrears too.
5. Why would you think that you would continue to get child support if he is no longer the father of the child? I'm just asking if I notify him and he doesn't rrespond if it'll be granted and support is deducted still.

The father will have to give permission for the adoption. He would have to be served. IF he agrees to terminate his parental rights and the adoption is completed, his child support will end.
Wouldn't he be considered abandoning my daughter since he only pays through deduction and doesn't contact her whatsoever?

1. Does your husband actually want to adopt your child? Yes. We have discussed this at length, he identifies her as his child.

2. Was the child's father notified of your numerous address changes? No, I don't know his address.

3. Is there a custody order in place? Please clarify your comment "he cannot see our child"...Did a court order that or are you refusing his right to visit with his child? He stopped trying to see her back when he shocked up with his fiancée and their baby.

4. Why do you wish to hide the adoption from the child's father? I don't necessarily wish to do this but I don't think he deserves to have a choice. He only pays for her, doesn't contribute any other way. Only pays because it is deducted, he wasn't paying until maybe 4 years ago, he did pay off arrears too.

5. Why would you think that you would continue to get child support if he is no longer the father of the child? I'm just asking if I notify him and he doesn't rrespond if it'll be granted and support is deducted still.


The father will have to give permission for the adoption. He would have to be served. IF he agrees to terminate his parental rights and the adoption is completed, his child support will end.

Wouldn't he be considered abandoning my daughter since he only pays through deduction and doesn't contact her whatsoever?

 

[FootballersWife]

What makes you think you could have your current husband adopt your daughter without the knowledge of your ex-husband? And you still expect him to pay you child support after an adoption? There's so much more I'd like to say to you but I don't have the time right now. Please pay attention to what everyone else says to you. You deserve every word.

Where did I say I don't want him to know? Hell, I'll scream it from the roof tops and he probably will too right with his wife. They don't want to pay for my daughter's life.

 

[Just Blue]

1. Does your husband actually want to adopt your child? Yes. We have discussed this at length, he identifies her as his child.

2. Was the child's father notified of your numerous address changes? No, I don't know his address.

3. Is there a custody order in place? Please clarify your comment "he cannot see our child"...Did a court order that or are you refusing his right to visit with his child? He stopped trying to see her back when he shocked up with his fiancée and their baby.

4. Why do you wish to hide the adoption from the child's father? I don't necessarily wish to do this but I don't think he deserves to have a choice. He only pays for her, doesn't contribute any other way. Only pays because it is deducted, he wasn't paying until maybe 4 years ago, he did pay off arrears too.

5. Why would you think that you would continue to get child support if he is no longer the father of the child? I'm just asking if I notify him and he doesn't rrespond if it'll be granted and support is deducted still.


The father will have to give permission for the adoption. He would have to be served. IF he agrees to terminate his parental rights and the adoption is completed, his child support will end.

Wouldn't he be considered abandoning my daughter since he only pays through deduction and doesn't contact her whatsoever?

No, he is supporting his child so he didn't abandon her. But as he sadly doesn't have a relationship with her, he may agree to the adoption as this will end his support obligation.

I highly suggest you and your husband consult with an adoption attorney. Adoption is never a DYI project.


As an aside: Parents have constitutional rights. You may think that he doesn't deserve a choice but the SCOTUS would disagree with you. And don't diminish the fact that he pays his support and pays it on time. Many parents that don't have a relationship with their child also don't bother to support them. There are many ways for a determined, irresponsible deadbeat to successfully avoid paying their child support obligation.

 

[Just Blue]

Where did I say I don't want him to know? Hell, I'll scream it from the roof tops and he probably will too right with his wife. They don't want to pay for my daughter's life.

The title of your thread is "New husband Adoption/Will Bio-Dad Find Out" ...that plus you asked if you would still get the child support after the adoption.

So yeah...You are really giving the impression that you want to sneak this through.

 

[FootballersWife]

The title of your thread is "New husband Adoption/Will Bio-Dad Find Out" ...that plus you asked if you would still get the child support after the adoption.

So yeah...You are really giving the impression that you want to sneak this through.

I should have elaborated, you're right so I updated title.

I truly don't feel an absent father/mother deserves the right to have a say. If that 6 hundred n some dollars wasn't auto pulled he wouldn't pay it.

 

[FootballersWife]

No, he is supporting his child so he didn't abandon her. But as he sadly doesn't have a relationship with her, he may agree to the adoption as this will end his support obligation.

I highly suggest you and your husband consult with an adoption attorney. Adoption is never a DYI project.


As an aside: Parents have constitutional rights. You may think that he doesn't deserve a choice but the SCOTUS would disagree with you. And don't diminish the fact that he pays his support and pays it on time. Many parents that don't have a relationship with their child also don't bother to support them. There are many ways for a determined, irresponsible deadbeat to successfully avoid paying their child support obligation.

I appreciate your respectful replies. Obviously some don't think I deserve it and I get that. I am not painting myself in the light I deserve but I just needed answers.

If I publish in the newspaper could that be notification of the adoption request? And if adoption is granted by default, will his obligation end automatically?? I don't mind, he should pay because be basically abandoned her emotionally but I will be willing to drop it should he just give "permission."

 

[Just Blue]

I appreciate your respectful replies. Obviously some don't think I deserve it and I get that. I am not painting myself in the light I deserve but I just needed answers.

If I publish in the newspaper could that be notification of the adoption request? And if adoption is granted by default, will his obligation end automatically?? I don't mind, he should pay because be basically abandoned her emotionally but I will be willing to drop it should he just give "permission."

Service by Publication requires permission from the Judge and that is only if you haven't been able to serve the father. You are receiving support so you will be able to get his address or you could have him served at work. And again, once he is no longer the father of the child he is not obligated, either legally or morally, to pay child support. You need to let go of the anger that is driving you on this. Apparently your child has a close and loving relationship with your husband. Your objective should be to legalize their relationship by getting this adoption done, not find a way to punish your ex. Revenge will only jeopardize the adoption process and potentially cause you legal trouble.

Again: Consult with a few adoption attorneys and hire the one that suits you best. Follow adoption laws. FORGET child support continuing after the adoption.

 

[Just Blue]

I should have elaborated, you're right so I updated title.

I truly don't feel an absent father/mother deserves the right to have a say. If that 6 hundred n some dollars wasn't auto pulled he wouldn't pay it.

What you feel/think/believe is not legally relevant. And it doesn't make a difference if the only reason he's paying is due to garnishment. The bottom line is, he IS paying.

Go consult with an attorney or 5. Hire one. Do this correctly. Based on your postings (and I presume you are being truthful here) he will probably VTPR.

You might want to consider that we are having a pandemic. God forbid you contract COVID or DELTA and were to die from it...your child would be placed with her father that she doesn't know. So forget playing games and just get it done correctly and legally.

 

[Ohiogal]

1. Does your husband actually want to adopt your child? Yes. We have discussed this at length, he identifies her as his child.

2. Was the child's father notified of your numerous address changes? No, I don't know his address.

3. Is there a custody order in place? Please clarify your comment "he cannot see our child"...Did a court order that or are you refusing his right to visit with his child? He stopped trying to see her back when he shocked up with his fiancée and their baby.

4. Why do you wish to hide the adoption from the child's father? I don't necessarily wish to do this but I don't think he deserves to have a choice. He only pays for her, doesn't contribute any other way. Only pays because it is deducted, he wasn't paying until maybe 4 years ago, he did pay off arrears too.

5. Why would you think that you would continue to get child support if he is no longer the father of the child? I'm just asking if I notify him and he doesn't rrespond if it'll be granted and support is deducted still.


The father will have to give permission for the adoption. He would have to be served. IF he agrees to terminate his parental rights and the adoption is completed, his child support will end.

Wouldn't he be considered abandoning my daughter since he only pays through deduction and doesn't contact her whatsoever?

You moved without notifying him. Did you notify the court every time you moved or not? If not then you are a horrible person.
He is supporting the child. That means he has not abandoned her. I hope your new husband adopts then divorces you and gains custody of the child. You deserve that.

 

[Ohiogal]

I appreciate your respectful replies. Obviously some don't think I deserve it and I get that. I am not painting myself in the light I deserve but I just needed answers.

If I publish in the newspaper could that be notification of the adoption request? And if adoption is granted by default, will his obligation end automatically?? I don't mind, he should pay because be basically abandoned her emotionally but I will be willing to drop it should he just give "permission."

Nope. You need to attempt to get his address. You forced him to abandon with all your moves. You most likely didn't file a change of address with the court every time you moved as you were required. You are a horrible gold digging wench.

 

[stealth2]

Huh. That's a lot of moves. Did you notify the court each time? What sort of parenting time was awarded for Dad? Did you ever comply yourself?

Adoption will not occur w/o Dad's consent. And yes, you really should consult with a lawyer. I guess start with someone local who may have an idea of how you sort out your mess.

 

[AlmostThere]

What efforts have you made to locate dad? As a parent, you SHOULD be trying to facilitate visitation between your child and her father. Even if you have a new man who is willing to step into the role of dad. I am not even going to touch the implication that your daughter's legal dad is not the biological dad.

Also how long have you been married? Have you considered that 2nd marriages have a divorce rate of ~60%, that if you split, he could end up with custody of your daughter you paying child support?

Many here can tell you that if a parent does not want to pay child support, there are ways to not pay child support.