New Husband Adoption/Will Bio Dad Find Out (eta *or do i need to inform)**

[adjusterjack]

Summary:

You WILL need him to sign the court papers giving consent.
Child support WILL stop when the adoption is final.
You DO know how to find him because the CS is garnished from his pay.

By the way, your husband can be a Dad even without an adoption. I am. I wasn't able to get consent from the father. I'm still Dad. My kids are in their 50s. My ex died a few years ago.

 

[FootballersWife]

What you feel/think/believe is not legally relevant. And it doesn't make a difference if the only reason he's paying is due to garnishment. The bottom line is, he IS paying.

Go consult with an attorney or 5. Hire one. Do this correctly. Based on your postings (and I presume you are being truthful here) he will probably VTPR.

You might want to consider that we are having a pandemic. God forbid you contract COVID or DELTA and were to die from it...your child would be placed with her father that she doesn't know. So forget playing games and just get it done correctly and legally.

Oh, I'm sure he will give them up as long as he doesn't have to pay for her. He has other kids with his wife and seems to take care of them.

You moved without notifying him. Did you notify the court every time you moved or not? If not then you are a horrible person.
He is supporting the child. That means he has not abandoned her. I hope your new husband adopts then divorces you and gains custody of the child. You deserve that.

My ex assaulted his then girlfriend now wife. He emotionally abused me and probably does his wife now.

He didn't fight to find my daughter after he got out of jail because he chose his now wife and their child back in 2014. I told him "if you are still with her you can't have visitation." He didn't fight back because he didn't want it and nor did his then girlfriend now wife. I protect my family and if he cared he would have filed for contempt.

Court paperwork goes to my mom's place because I don't want him knowing my address and I was able to get my address sealed because of his jail record for violence. He hasn't known my address (aside from whitepage look) since Colorado 2014

 

[FootballersWife]

Summary:

You WILL need him to sign the court papers giving consent.
Child support WILL stop when the adoption is final.
You DO know how to find him because the CS is garnished from his pay.

By the way, your husband can be a Dad even without an adoption. I am. I wasn't able to get consent from the father. I'm still Dad. My kids are in their 50s. My ex died a few years ago.

I don't want my daughter to have HIS last name I want it our family name and she calls my husband dad anyway. She hasn't seen her legal father since 2014.

 

[FootballersWife]

Nope. You need to attempt to get his address. You forced him to abandon with all your moves. You most likely didn't file a change of address with the court every time you moved as you were required. You are a horrible gold digging wench.

I definitely did not update court as they only need my mailing address. They have my mom's address and she tells me what the papers say. He hasn't filed anything since 2018 maybe 2019. That was for a reduction in support.

 

[Zigner]

In case you don't get it...NO, child support won't continue if the child is adopted.

With that said, I find it telling just how important the money is to you in this decision. <spit>

 

[FootballersWife]

And yes I call him the legal dad because he signed the birth certificate knowing there was a chance she wasn't his. He wanted to make it work. We both thought she was conceived the night he got home from Iraq but birthday makes it questionable.

He was fine being her dad and didn't bring paternity up until his now wife told him it was "unfair" that my daughter "probably" isn't his. He requested paternity testing back in 2017to the child support agency but the child support lawyer (?) Denied it because she was 7 at the time and he didn't bring it up at the divorce. ‍

 

[Zigner]

I definitely did not update court as they only need my mailing address. They have my mom's address and she tells me what the papers say. He hasn't filed anything since 2018 maybe 2019. That was for a reduction in support.

Your mom's is NOT your "mailing address". It seems to me that an argument can be made that you have actively concealed the whereabouts of the man's child for years now.

 

[AlmostThere]

He didn't fight to find my daughter after he got out of jail because he chose his now wife and their child back in 2014. I told him "if you are still with her you can't have visitation." He didn't fight back because he didn't want it and nor did his then girlfriend now wife. I protect my family and if he cared he would have filed for contempt.

That is pretty brazen. You are allowed to move on and have your child in your life, but he is not? Divorce is between you and your spouse, not between parents and children. He is allowed to leave you, have an affair, not treat you nicely and NONE of that has any impact on custody and child support. It reads like you were trying to hold him hostage, by telling him that he could only see his child if he stayed with you.

And this is inconsistent with your claims that he was abusive to you. Why would you want to stop him from moving on if you were abused by him? The fact that he was in his child's life until you gave your ultimatum, makes it sound like he would still be in her life if you had not interfered. I feel baldy for your child.

 

[Zigner]

And yes I call him the legal dad because he signed the birth certificate knowing there was a chance she wasn't his. He wanted to make it work. We both thought she was conceived the night he got home from Iraq but birthday makes it questionable.

He didn't sign the birth certifiicate, nor did he need to sign anything be the child's legal father.
Great job on staying faithful to a service member who was serving in a foreign land.

 

[FootballersWife]

In case you don't get it...NO, child support won't continue if the child is adopted.

With that said, I find it telling just how important the money is to you in this decision. <spit>

It is important because he has nothing to do with us. And didn't have anything to do with our son that died in 2017, sinxe

That is pretty brazen. You are allowed to move on and have your child in your life, but he is not? Divorce is between you and your spouse, not between parents and children. He is allowed to leave you, have an affair, not treat you nicely and NONE of that has any impact on custody and child support. It reads like you were trying to hold him hostage, by telling him that he could only see his child if he stayed with you.

And this is inconsistent with your claims that he was abusive to you. Why would you want to stop him from moving on if you were abused by him? The fact that he was in his child's life until you gave your ultimatum, makes it sound like he would still be in her life if you had not interfered. I feel baldy for your child.

He and his now wife are toxic and I didn't want that around my kids (

He didn't sign the birth certifiicate, nor did he need to sign anything be the child's legal father.
Great job on staying faithful to a service member who was serving in a foreign land.

He signed it. And he wasn't faithful either

 

[Just Blue]

Oh, I'm sure he will give them up as long as he doesn't have to pay for her. He has other kids with his wife and seems to take care of them.


My ex assaulted his then girlfriend now wife. He emotionally abused me and probably does his wife now.

He didn't fight to find my daughter after he got out of jail because he chose his now wife and their child back in 2014. I told him "if you are still with her you can't have visitation." He didn't fight back because he didn't want it and nor did his then girlfriend now wife. I protect my family and if he cared he would have filed for contempt.

Court paperwork goes to my mom's place because I don't want him knowing my address and I was able to get my address sealed because of his jail record for violence. He hasn't known my address (aside from whitepage look) since Colorado 2014

Some day your daughter is going to find out what you did and she will be disgusted with you.

 

[Zigner]

He signed it. And he wasn't faithful either

No, he didn't. He may have signed an application for the birth certificate, but he did not sign the birth certificate.

In any case, and as I said, as your husband, he is the legal father, even if his signature wasn't on the application.

 

[FootballersWife]

No, he didn't. He may have signed an application for the birth certificate, but he did not sign the birth certificate.

In any case, and as I said, as your husband, he is the legal father, even if his signature wasn't on the application.

Yes and the paper work says my ex husband name

 

[adjusterjack]

I don't want my daughter to have HIS last name I want it our family name and she calls my husband dad anyway. She hasn't seen her legal father since 2014.

There's a solution to that, too. It's called "common law name change." My kids used my last name from early on. It wasn't official but, eventually, schools accepted it. At some point the SSA issued cards with my name and, eventually, they were able to get driver licenses. From then on nobody ever asked for court papers.

Try it. Your daughter is old enough to be able to politely insist that she be referred to by your husband's last name informally and still use her old name where it's officially required until the change is accepted. When she's 18 she can go to court and make it official.