Adoption

[Chrisrain]

I have had full custody of my daughters for 3 years. For the first year their bio mother seen them 4 times at holidays with their family. Since then for over 2 1/2 years she has not seen or attempted to see them. The court order stated that she set up visitations once a week and call up to 4 times. She has not done any of that.bi have documented text messages giving her locations to set up the visits. I also have text messages giving her different places she can receive drug and mental health help at. I have also reached out trying to get her to see the girls and she just doesn't.. always excuses. I believe she is still deep in her addiction according to her family and her boyfriend. Well to my point. If something was to happen to me the girls would end up in foster care. So my wife and I wanted to adopt them to my wife. They have a great relationship and she helps me raise them everyday. She is very involved in schooling, medical, and mental health with them. If their mother refuses to sign off rights, due to some pride, do I have any other options. She has completely disregard the court order going on 3 years. The one contact she does have with my daughters happens ab ok it every 4 months. She will randomly comment on social media about how she loves them and misses them.. then she will go silent another 3-4 months. I don't really know what to do from here. But I do have to think of their futures and have a back up plan.

 

[Just Blue]

I have had full custody of my daughters for 3 years. For the first year their bio mother seen them 4 times at holidays with their family. Since then for over 2 1/2 years she has not seen or attempted to see them. The court order stated that she set up visitations once a week and call up to 4 times. She has not done any of that.bi have documented text messages giving her locations to set up the visits. I also have text messages giving her different places she can receive drug and mental health help at. I have also reached out trying to get her to see the girls and she just doesn't.. always excuses. I believe she is still deep in her addiction according to her family and her boyfriend. Well to my point. If something was to happen to me the girls would end up in foster care. So my wife and I wanted to adopt them to my wife. They have a great relationship and she helps me raise them everyday. She is very involved in schooling, medical, and mental health with them. If their mother refuses to sign off rights, due to some pride, do I have any other options. She has completely disregard the court order going on 3 years. The one contact she does have with my daughters happens ab ok it every 4 months. She will randomly comment on social media about how she loves them and misses them.. then she will go silent another 3-4 months. I don't really know what to do from here. But I do have to think of their futures and have a back up plan.

What State?
Is there a child support order and if so, is paying support?
When is the last time she contacted, by any form, her children?
When was her last support payment?

 

[Just Blue]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/child-custody-visitation.659989/

Related thread.

 

[LdiJ]

I have had full custody of my daughters for 3 years. For the first year their bio mother seen them 4 times at holidays with their family. Since then for over 2 1/2 years she has not seen or attempted to see them. The court order stated that she set up visitations once a week and call up to 4 times. She has not done any of that.bi have documented text messages giving her locations to set up the visits. I also have text messages giving her different places she can receive drug and mental health help at. I have also reached out trying to get her to see the girls and she just doesn't.. always excuses. I believe she is still deep in her addiction according to her family and her boyfriend. Well to my point. If something was to happen to me the girls would end up in foster care. So my wife and I wanted to adopt them to my wife. They have a great relationship and she helps me raise them everyday. She is very involved in schooling, medical, and mental health with them. If their mother refuses to sign off rights, due to some pride, do I have any other options. She has completely disregard the court order going on 3 years. The one contact she does have with my daughters happens ab ok it every 4 months. She will randomly comment on social media about how she loves them and misses them.. then she will go silent another 3-4 months. I don't really know what to do from here. But I do have to think of their futures and have a back up plan.

I can understand your concern about your children's potential future, however social services would make every effort to place them in kinship care before placing them in foster care. Therefore they would be placed with a grandparent or an aunt or uncle if at all possible.

 

[adjusterjack]

I don't really know what to do from here.

Unless she consents to the adoption, I don't see it happening based on the circumstances you describe.

Involuntary termination of her parental rights will require that you prove that she is the worst of the worst of the worst. You will spend a lot of time and money on court. The court will give her many chances to redeem herself. It could take years to get the resolution that you want.

Here's some reference material addressing the grounds for involuntary termination of parental rights.

Grounds for Involuntary Termination of Parental Rights (childwelfare.gov)

Rule 5101:2-42-95 - Ohio Administrative Code | Ohio Laws

Section 2151.353 - Ohio Revised Code | Ohio Laws

Change in Allocation of Parental Rights and Responsibilities (ohio.gov)

 

[Just Blue]

@Ohiogal

I tagged Ohiogal, who is a site vetted Attorney/GAL. She will know if what you have posted is grounds for a TPR.

 

[Chrisrain]

Unless she consents to the adoption, I don't see it happening based on the circumstances you describe.

Involuntary termination of her parental rights will require that you prove that she is the worst of the worst of the worst. You will spend a lot of time and money on court. The court will give her many chances to redeem herself. It could take years to get the resolution that you want.

Here's some reference material addressing the grounds for involuntary termination of parental rights.

Grounds for Involuntary Termination of Parental Rights (childwelfare.gov)

Rule 5101:2-42-95 - Ohio Administrative Code | Ohio Laws

Section 2151.353 - Ohio Revised Code | Ohio Laws

Change in Allocation of Parental Rights and Responsibilities (ohio.gov)

Thank you very much for your response. I had a feeling this wasn't going to be easy.

 

[Chrisrain]

What State?
Is there a child support order and if so, is paying support?
When is the last time she contacted, by any form, her children?
When was her last support payment?

There is no child support order. I thought since she hasn't worked in years and she is pretty hard on drugs that child support wouldn't help. She last contacted one of the two girls 3 months ago thru tik tok. She said "you're pretty and I miss you". Before that it was another 4 months. I thought of child support but I felt it would most likely put her in jail if she doesn't pay? And that's not my goal.

 

[Chrisrain]

I need to be clear. I haven't stopped her or halt d the court order at all. She hadn't attempted to follow any of the steps of the court order. I can't force her to see the kids.. the court order stated she must set up visitations at an approved location of me. So I sent her 10 local, free places to meet. Child services, churches, family centers. And she hasn't done that.. she hasn't even called my phone in about two years. Abandonment isn't a route?

 

[stealth2]

I need to be clear. I haven't stopped her or halt d the court order at all. She hadn't attempted to follow any of the steps of the court order. I can't force her to see the kids.. the court order stated she must set up visitations at an approved location of me. So I sent her 10 local, free places to meet. Child services, churches, family centers. And she hasn't done that.. she hasn't even called my phone in about two years. Abandonment isn't a route?

Since she HAS had contact (albeit via TikTok and sporadically), it isn't abandonment.

 

[Zigner]

Since she HAS had contact (albeit via TikTok and sporadically), it isn't abandonment.

On another thread, Ohiogal pointed out that de minimis contact isn't enough...

 

[stealth2]

On another thread, Ohiogal pointed out that de minimis contact isn't enough...

I didn't read the other threads.

 

[Zigner]

I didn't read the other threads.

Don't think it was this OP - but was also an Ohio adoption thread.

 

[stealth2]

Don't think it was this OP - but was also an Ohio adoption thread.

Aaaah....

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you very much for your response. I had a feeling this wasn't going to be easy.

First of all, she is NOT bio mom. She is mother. END of story on that. Use proper terminology.
Is there a child support order? Has she provided any clothing, food, support of any kind? Have her family? When is the last time she has seen or talked to the children? HOw far apart do the two of you live?