Can somebody be forced to remove pictures and videos of somebody else?

[reddsman14]

What is the name of your state? TN

My son is 18 & won't talk to me and hasn't for several years. His mother has alienated him and intervenes in my attempts at reconciliation

If I post a webpage with pictures of him, and also links to youtube videos when he was younger, showing proof that we used to have a great relationship, can he force me to take them down and get me in legal trouble if I don't? I think his mother might try to get him to intervene legally to get me in trouble.

 

[adjusterjack]

I don't think you can be forced to take them down but he can probably get the websites to do it for him.

I suggest you don't do it. Your son is still a child even though he is of legal age. Some day when his brain develops into adulthood he may figure things out and get in touch with you.

Right now you can't push him into something he believes he doesn't want.

Painful, yes. I know. I speak from experience. My son and I became estranged when he was that age. Took him a long time to grow up but we eventually got back together and have a decent relationship.

 

[reddsman14]

I suggest you don't do it. Your son is still a child even though he is of legal age. Some day when his brain develops into adulthood he may figure things out and get in touch with you.

Thanks. At what age would you guess is typical for a child's brain to have developed enough to figure things out?

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state? TN

My son is 18 & won't talk to me and hasn't for several years. His mother has alienated him and intervenes in my attempts at reconciliation

If I post a webpage with pictures of him, and also links to youtube videos when he was younger, showing proof that we used to have a great relationship, can he force me to take them down and get me in legal trouble if I don't? I think his mother might try to get him to intervene legally to get me in trouble.

Did you take the photos and videos?

It is generally a bad idea to post photos or videos of identifiable people without their permission.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks. At what age would you guess is typical for a child's brain to have developed enough to figure things out?

It is said that people's brains do not fully develop until sometime in their mid twenties, but that doesn't mean that your child is going to automatically think differently of you at any specific age. In fact, if you try to force the issue in the manner in which you have described, you might permanently estrange your son.

 

[Taxing Matters]

What is the name of your state? TN

My son is 18 & won't talk to me and hasn't for several years. His mother has alienated him and intervenes in my attempts at reconciliation

If I post a webpage with pictures of him, and also links to youtube videos when he was younger, showing proof that we used to have a great relationship, can he force me to take them down and get me in legal trouble if I don't? I think his mother might try to get him to intervene legally to get me in trouble.

He might be able to convince the owner of the site hosting the photos/videos to take them down. But there isn't a law that would compel them to do it. But if I were you, I'd not do it. Lots of people when they get older see things posted about them on the internet by their parents or other relatives that the parent/relative thought was cute or adorable but that the kid himself/herself finds utterly embarrassing. That often creates a lot of hard feelings. That is one reason there is a movement to encourage parents not to post pictures, etc., online. The kid's safety is another. It should be up to your adult child what things about him/her go on the internet. If if you do this without his permission, you risk making the alienation worse, not better. He may end up resenting you for posting those things without his permission because he should be the one to decide what go up and he may not regard what you put as fondly as you do. And the problem is, once you post it, it never really leaves the internet. Just taking the site you put up won't prevent others from finding it because other sites cache internet material and make it available. So removing your site would make it harder for people to find those items, but they may still be found by those who know where to look. If your goal is reconcilation with your son, this isn't going to be a good way to do it.

And if that is your goal, why in the world would you even want to keep it up online if he doesn't like it? That'll just give him more reason to dislike you. That's a completely unnecessary battle that you can easily avoid.

 

[quincy]

There potentially are laws that can be used to get videos and photos removed from a website - copyright laws and privacy laws. That is why I asked who took the videos and photos.

If reddmans14 is IN the videos and photos with his son, he might not be the videographer/photographer and, therefore, he would not hold the copyrights in the works. The copyright owner (mother, other relative?) could file a DMCA takedown notice with any website displaying the videos/photos and the content would be removed (if the website owner wishes to avoid infringement liability).

There is also Tennessee’s recognized right of privacy laws to consider, should the son feel especially litigious.

Whether your son, reddman14, would be so upset about the posting online of videos or photographs to want them removed is, of course, a question mark. If you are asking the question, however, you must seem to think it a possibility. That is indication that even you are unsure of the wisdom of doing it. So, I recommend you don’t.

I know that families separated through acrimonious divorces often will heal their damaged relationships given time. Often the relationship-repairs come after everyone has found new happy lives.

My opinion is that you will be best served by continuing to keep the doors open for your son but to let him choose the time to reconnect.

 

[Zigner]

My opinion is that you will be best served by continuing to keep the doors open for your son but to let him choose the time to reconnect.

^^^ THIS!

 

[quincy]

A question to satisfy my curiosity, reddsman14:

Have you posted to the forum before under a different username?

 

[zddoodah]

If I post a webpage with pictures of him, and also links to youtube videos when he was younger, showing proof that we used to have a great relationship

I'm curious about your use of the word "proof" here. To whom are you trying to prove this?

can he force me to take them down and get me in legal trouble if I don't?

Force you how? With respect to photos, if you took the photos, then you (almost certainly) own the copyrights, so there would be no issue with you posting them on a website. Links to videos also wouldn't be a problem, but the videos themselves could be. However, if they're videos you took and uploaded, then that also won't likely be a problem.

I think his mother might try to get him to intervene legally to get me in trouble.

I'm not sure what "intervene legally" might mean, but does your 18-year old son really have the financial wherewithal to do this?

 

[Zigner]

Just for reference, here's one of reddsman's other threads (by way of an alterego).

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/therapist-malpractice.659522/

 

[quincy]

An observation, as a parent who has taken numerous photos and videos of my children over the past several years:

There are far more smiling, happy shots of my children in our personal albums than ones where my kids are crying or throwing tantrums. Family photos are at best an edited version of real life in a family. They do not “prove” everything was well or everyone was happy except for possibly one tiny click in time.

I am lucky that my family IS a happy one on the whole. But I would never attempt to prove it with photos.

 

[stealth2]

An observation, as a parent who has taken numerous photos and videos of my children over the past several years:

There are far more smiling, happy shots of my children in our personal albums than ones where my kids are crying or throwing tantrums. Family photos are at best an edited version of real life in a family. They do not “prove” everything was well or everyone was happy except for possibly one tiny click in time.

I am lucky that my family IS a happy one on the whole. But I would never attempt to prove it with photos.

So much this.

 

[quincy]

So much this.

One of my favorite photos ever taken of my family was by a professional photographer. We arranged an appointment in advance and sat for the photographer, this after a long day of busy activity. All of us were hungry and beyond cranky.

The first few shots taken by the photographer showed crying, squirmy kids, and exasperated looks on both my wife and me. The photographer, professional that he was, somehow managed to work a few miracles and several shots showed us all smiling and looking happy.

When it came time to order photos, my wife and I selected for copies the photo that truly represented us that day, the first one taken. The photo of us all looking miserable never fails to make me laugh.

 

[stealth2]

Interesting.... We had a family photo done. Once. I still have it somewhere. Just to remind me that the sadness in my children's eyes needed to end.