Inheritance

[Zigner]

Unfortunately my mother is afraid to do anything like this because of anxiety. She used to think there were cameras in the ceiling watching her and taking photos of her credit cards if she took them out. She knows I'm watching out for my brother and she wants me present at all times.

Should your mom pass first, and if I were your brother, I would contest any changes you make based on undue influence.
You should INSIST that the attorney speaks to her alone, even if only briefly.

 

[Zigner]

"Duress is defined as that degree of restraint or danger, either actually inflicted or impending, which is sufficient in severity or apprehension to overcome the mind of an individual of ordinary firmness."

Based on the additional information the OP provided, one might argue that mom is not "of ordinary firmness".

 

[elmxl88]

Should your mom pass first, and if I were your brother, I would contest any changes you make based on undue influence.
You should INSIST that the attorney speaks to her alone, even if only briefly.

We are returning the will to its original state. My brother was the one that was hounding my mother to change things and the wife was likely after my brother to do so. For all to see/read here... he's getting his entire share but it'll be a test to see if she sticks around for those 5 years. Not sure if you saw my post but I dug up the deed to the house they reside in. They married in 2008 and in 2011 she got around to changing her name on it (married name) and not adding my brother's name. She has kids so clearly she is looking out for her/them only. I told my mom what I discovered and have downloaded the deed to show her and it's all dated. She was quite upset to learn some truth about this woman. If she's not about the money, she would have shared this investment with him.

 

[Zigner]

We are returning the will to its original state. My brother was the one that was hounding my mother to change things and the wife was likely after my brother to do so. For all to see/read here... he's getting his entire share but it'll be a test to see if she sticks around for those 5 years. Not sure if you saw my post but I dug up the deed to the house they reside in. They married in 2008 and in 2011 she got around to changing her name on it (married name) and not adding my brother's name. She has kids so clearly she is looking out for her/them only. I told my mom what I discovered and have downloaded the deed to show her and it's all dated. She was quite upset to learn some truth about this woman. If she's not about the money, she would have shared this investment with him.

Hey, you don't need to convince me of anything. Your mom would be wise to speak to the attorney alone, lest her wishes be challenged.

 

[Taxing Matters]

Based on the additional information the OP provided, one might argue that mom is not "of ordinary firmness".

I agree. But the standard in the PA case law is an objective one rather than subjective.

 

[elmxl88]

So I have spoken to the lawyer and he tells me different and than my mom tells me a different story. She is so confused at this point. She wants my brother there so he knows that the will is going back to a stipend for him. So clearly she has no idea what she's doing at this point. He was never supposed to know and he kept pressuring my mom and she caved and now we have problems.

 

[Zigner]

So I have spoken to the lawyer and he tells me different and than my mom tells me a different story. She is so confused at this point. She wants my brother there so he knows that the will is going back to a stipend for him. So clearly she has no idea what she's doing at this point. He was never supposed to know and he kept pressuring my mom and she caved and now we have problems.

I think the desire to have both children present is perfectly valid. She is trying to prevent confusion, whereas, you are pressuring her to sneak around, which causes confusion.
Frankly, the more I read from you, the more I am convinced that your motives are aligned far differently than your mother's wishes.

 

[Eekamouse]

You're starting to look like you're not really trying to protect your brother from his so-called evil wife but more like you've got your own ulterior motives for making all this an issue. Maybe I'm wrong...not my monkey, not my circus.

 

[elmxl88]

You're starting to look like you're not really trying to protect your brother from his so-called evil wife but more like you've got your own ulterior motives for making all this an issue. Maybe I'm wrong...not my monkey, not my circus.

As I have said to my mother... My brother has destroyed our relationship and probably not repairable at this point however, I feel it necessary to protect him from ending up in the streets. I have done some digging. They got married in 2008. He moved into her house. In 2011, she changed her deed but only by changing it to her newly married name. The house was acquired during a previous marriage. In 2014, she refinanced and again in her name only. Keeping in mind that her conversation with me included her saying she wasn't ready to divorce my brother yet (this was in Dec 2022 when he had open heart surgery and he was in the hospital). Although the house is my brother's legal residence, if she were to pass suddenly, wouldn't the house go to her two daughters? Doesn't that leave my brother w/o a roof over his head. As I have mentioned earlier in my post, she has trained my brother to put all money he gets from my mother in joint accounts. He has told me that himself that he has to do that because she did at one point. This is why he is getting a stipend monthly. If she sticks it out for 5 years... he gets the remainder and at that point I don't care what happens.
I have also learned that my brother forced my mother to signing a POA and I'm the executor. My mother didn't realize what a POA really entails. My brother was hell bent on this and now my mom will be reversing this. This whole thing has become a huge mess and my mom is suffering the most. Had she just told my brother to mind his business and that her affairs are in order this all wouldn't have happened but we all suspect that the wife was poking my brother to find out details.

 

[elmxl88]

Should your mom pass first, and if I were your brother, I would contest any changes you make based on undue influence.
You should INSIST that the attorney speaks to her alone, even if only briefly.

Years ago when the will was done, the lawyer added a clause that my brother can't contest or he forfeits everything.

 

[elmxl88]

You're starting to look like you're not really trying to protect your brother from his so-called evil wife but more like you've got your own ulterior motives for making all this an issue. Maybe I'm wrong...not my monkey, not my circus.

I have no motives except that my parent's hard earned money stay with the intended. I am furious that her deed was not changed to include my brother when he's been paying the bills, making repairs and major improvements. Foolishly he never kept receipts, I did ask once. The truth is if she passes, he has no claims on the house and has no where to live. Also, he will not doubt take his inheritance and put it into a joint account. At the 24th hour plus one minute it is fair game and she can take it all.

 

[Zigner]

Years ago when the will was done, the lawyer added a clause that my brother can't contest or he forfeits everything.

In PA, such a clause isn't enforceable if probable cause exists for the will contest.

Did you say where mom resides?

 

[Zigner]

I have no motives except that my parent's hard earned money stay with the intended.

Then you'll have no problem allowing the attorney to speak to your mother alone. You'll also have no problem having your brother present.

I am furious that her deed was not changed to include my brother when he's been paying the bills, making repairs and major improvements.

Not your business.

Foolishly he never kept receipts, I did ask once.

Not your business.

The truth is if she passes, he has no claims on the house and has no where to live.

Not your business.

Also, he will not doubt take his inheritance and put it into a joint account. At the 24th hour plus one minute it is fair game and she can take it all.

Not your business.

 

[Taxing Matters]

I have no motives except that my parent's hard earned money stay with the intended. I am furious that her deed was not changed to include my brother when he's been paying the bills, making repairs and major improvements.

Did you ever ask a real estate lawyer if adding him to the deed would be a good idea? Or ask a tax lawyer what the tax consequences would be? In some states doing that could lose any real estate tax relief given to older people, may trigger reassessment of the property tax, and may end costing more income tax in the end if not done correctly.

Foolishly he never kept receipts, I did ask once. The truth is if she passes, he has no claims on the house and has no where to live.

Your concern for your brother is admirable, but I assume he's an adult and thus is responsible for the decisions he makes. Beyond telling him he ought to see a lawyer to ensure his investment in the house isn't lost, there's not a lot you can do about this and trying to do more runs the risk of alienating him and other members of the family.

Also, he will not doubt take his inheritance and put it into a joint account. At the 24th hour plus one minute it is fair game and she can take it all.

If the "she" you refer to is his wife, that's entirely his business, not yours. Once he gets his inheritance he can do what he wants with it, including giving to his wife. Interfering in a marriage (other than get an abused spouse legal/medical help) rarely turns out the way you want, and again risks alienating your brother for meddling in his affairs. A marriage relationship is probably the number one type of relationship you do not want to intrude upon.

You aren't responsible for your adult relatives. You seem to have the impulse to want to control everything, and that's a good way to screw up family relationships. Let them take care of their own affairs and resist the urge to "help" them because you believe you know what's best for them. If they ask for advice or help, that's one thing. But when they don't ask and you interfere in their business that generally causes resentment. I've seen enough of that with some members of my family, some friends and clients to learn to keep my thoughts about what they are doing to myself unless it somehow affects me directly. That has avoided a lot of needless drama in my personal relationships. Making mistakes is one of the main ways we humans learn what to do and not to do. If you try to bail out your relatives all the time and assert control, they'll never learn and they likely won't be grateful either.

 

[Zigner]

Did you ever ask a real estate lawyer if adding him to the deed would be a good idea? Or ask a tax lawyer what the tax consequences would be? In some states doing that could lose any real estate tax relief given to older people, may trigger reassessment of the property tax, and may end costing more income tax in the end if not done correctly.

I believe the pronouns used caused confusion. OP is "furious" that brother wasn't added to the deed of the house owned (co-owned) by his wife.