Wife spending like crazy, toxic marriage

[chimpking]

As much as I love my wife but lately the marriage has been toxic and she has been spending $ like it’s nothing, racking up credit card payments and buying a high end SUV with a $1000 a month payment when she doesn’t work. She earns almost $4000 a month from social security which includes our daughter and her grandson (from my step daughter). She also sells crafts and earns extra money from it at home. I earn about $3200 a month and as much as I love my daughter and if I were to leave my wife, will I have to pay child support even if I do want to support my daughter in my own terms without her using the money to spend on herself.

all I want to know if her income from SSI is considered as income and she makes more than I do, does that mean I will or will not have to pay support?

 

[quincy]

As much as I love my wife but lately the marriage has been toxic and she has been spending $ like it’s nothing, racking up credit card payments and buying a high end SUV with a $1000 a month payment when she doesn’t work. She earns almost $4000 a month from social security which includes our daughter and her grandson (from my step daughter). She also sells crafts and earns extra money from it at home. I earn about $3200 a month and as much as I love my daughter and if I were to leave my wife, will I have to pay child support even if I do want to support my daughter in my own terms without her using the money to spend on herself.

all I want to know if her income from SSI is considered as income and she makes more than I do, does that mean I will or will not have to pay support?

In what state do you reside?

 

[AlmostThere]

A few more questions:
Is your wife keeping up with her bills?
How old is your daughter?

If your wife is awarded child support, as long as the basic needs of the dependent child you support are met, you have zero say in how child support money is spent. She can spend it on a car, manicures, fortune tellers, clothing, vacations, etc.

Think carefully - if you divorce your wife, and have to pay child support, will there be enough left for you to support yourself?

Perhaps you should consider starting with couples counseling before jumping to divorce.

 

[Foamback]

Just to clarify, SSI is supplemental security income, primarily a disability resource for people with little resources. There are rigid income, resource, housing and bank account limits on people receiving SSI. You are also eligible for Medicare and Medicaid


SSDI is social security disability income. Basically a way to receive social security early because of a qualifying disability. There are no restrictions on resources and one is allowed to earn up to $1700/month (I think) real income, as well as unlimited unearned income. You are also eligible for Medicare.

Social Security is also available to people older than 62 with a working history, is a surviving spouse with a working history, a minor child etc. Medicare is typically not available until age 65.

There are almost certainly errors in my little synopsis here, it’s a complicated subject, especially SS survivor benefits.

Your wife is almost certainly not receiving SSI

 

[chimpking]

In what state do you reside?

Arizona

 

[chimpking]

Just to clarify, SSI is supplemental security income, primarily a disability resource for people with little resources. There are rigid income, resource, housing and bank account limits on people receiving SSI. You are also eligible for Medicare and Medicaid


SSDI is social security disability income. Basically a way to receive social security early because of a qualifying disability. There are no restrictions on resources and one is allowed to earn up to $1700/month (I think) real income, as well as unlimited unearned income. You are also eligible for Medicare.

Social Security is also available to people older than 62 with a working history, is a surviving spouse with a working history, a minor child etc. Medicare is typically not available until age 65.

There are almost certainly errors in my little synopsis here, it’s a complicated subject, especially SS survivor benefits.

Your wife is almost certainly not receiving SSI

I meant SSDI, sorry

 

[chimpking]

A few more questions:
Is your wife keeping up with her bills?
How old is your daughter?

If your wife is awarded child support, as long as the basic needs of the dependent child you support are met, you have zero say in how child support money is spent. She can spend it on a car, manicures, fortune tellers, clothing, vacations, etc.

Think carefully - if you divorce your wife, and have to pay child support, will there be enough left for you to support yourself?

Perhaps you should consider starting with couples counseling before jumping to divorce.

Yes she is keeping up with her bills but adding up over time, daughter is 14

 

[Foamback]

She earns almost $4000 a month from social security which includes our daughter and her grandson (from my step daughter).

That doesn’t make sense. One gets SSDI for themselves.

 

[LdiJ]

That doesn’t make sense. One gets SSDI for themselves.

And for dependent children. Or rather, someone on SSDI receives SSI for their dependent children. SSDI is also based on work credits, so someone with decent work credits plus dependents could possibly get 4k a month.

 

[AlmostThere]

That doesn’t make sense. One gets SSDI for themselves.

Parents, representatives, and guardians of a disabled child can receive SSDI to care for that child.
https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10026.pdff

 

[Just Blue]

That doesn’t make sense. One gets SSDI for themselves.

One can also get Child dependents funds.

 

[adjusterjack]

Arizona

Not good. Community property state. Get divorced, potentially lose half of everything. And pay child support, unless you get custody.

Worse - her social security benefits are not part of community property according to federal law. You'll have to confirm that. If so, then the income disparity is higher on your side for the calculation of child support.

 

[Bali Hai Again]

As much as I love my wife but lately the marriage has been toxic and she has been spending $ like it’s nothing, racking up credit card payments and buying a high end SUV with a $1000 a month payment when she doesn’t work. She earns almost $4000 a month from social security which includes our daughter and her grandson (from my step daughter). She also sells crafts and earns extra money from it at home. I earn about $3200 a month and as much as I love my daughter and if I were to leave my wife, will I have to pay child support even if I do want to support my daughter in my own terms without her using the money to spend on herself.

all I want to know if her income from SSI is considered as income and she makes more than I do, does that mean I will or will not have to pay support?

Perhaps you and your wife can do some financial planning and come to an agreement on what are reasonable expectations. Whether you are ordered to pay child support for 4-6 years or not will be a drop in the bucket in the overall cost of divorcing. It sounds like you both are headed for the poor house either way.

 

[chimpking]

Not good. Community property state. Get divorced, potentially lose half of everything. And pay child support, unless you get custody.

Worse - her social security benefits are not part of community property according to federal law. You'll have to confirm that. If so, then the income disparity is higher on your side for the calculation of child support.

Sounds like I’ll just wait 4 more years, what about alimony?

 

[chimpking]

Perhaps you and your wife can do some financial planning and come to an agreement on what are reasonable expectations. Whether you are ordered to pay child support for 4-6 years or not will be a drop in the bucket in the overall cost of divorcing. It sounds like you both are headed for the poor house either way.

Yeah, poor house it is. I’ll just wait 4 years until she becomes 18 then I’ll go from there