Possible Contempt?

[Foxfire514]

What is the name of your state? Georgia

My court order is from around 10 years ago and I do have it in hand.
The order states that I have sole custody while my ex has every other weekend, alternating holidays, and a few weeks during summer. He has not exercised his visitation in around 6 years and has only called twice. Both are to tell me about a health issue so I would be aware it was genetic. He spoke to our son (13) for a total of two minutes. That is the most contact we have had outside of emails. He has moved states and has not kept me up to date (per the court order) as to where his location is. He has not paid child support in around 3 years and is currently 10k in arrears.
He emailed me today asking about the name change on the birth certificate. He was legitimated and the court ordered that the last name would be hyphenated with both the fathers and mine. When I had asked about this years ago, I was told the lawyers would submit it. I just called local vital records, and they also said the same thing. I was led to believe this is truth.
He's been pretty aggressive in responses prior. For example, I sent him my new address and accidentally switched two of the numbers. I noticed and corrected myself, but he started saying that I am lucky he doesn't hold me in contempt.

He has just written me another email saying he is writing our son out of his will because I refuse to let our son have only his last name.

I'm more worried that he will try and hold me in contempt. Would he even try, knowing he is not following the court order, himself?

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state? Georgia

My court order is from around 10 years ago and I do have it in hand.
The order states that I have sole custody while my ex has every other weekend, alternating holidays, and a few weeks during summer. He has not exercised his visitation in around 6 years and has only called twice. Both are to tell me about a health issue so I would be aware it was genetic. He spoke to our son (13) for a total of two minutes. That is the most contact we have had outside of emails. He has moved states and has not kept me up to date (per the court order) as to where his location is. He has not paid child support in around 3 years and is currently 10k in arrears.
He emailed me today asking about the name change on the birth certificate. He was legitimated and the court ordered that the last name would be hyphenated with both the fathers and mine. When I had asked about this years ago, I was told the lawyers would submit it. I just called local vital records, and they also said the same thing. I was led to believe this is truth.
He's been pretty aggressive in responses prior. For example, I sent him my new address and accidentally switched two of the numbers. I noticed and corrected myself, but he started saying that I am lucky he doesn't hold me in contempt.

He has just written me another email saying he is writing our son out of his will because I refuse to let our son have only his last name.

I'm more worried that he will try and hold me in contempt. Would he even try, knowing he is not following the court order, himself?

If he owes $10,000 in past due child support, it seems unlikely that he would want to appear in court.

 

[Zigner]

I don't particularly disagree the quincy's reply, but you should get on that name change.
With that said, it sounds like your ex is blowing smoke.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't particularly disagree the quincy's reply, but you should get on that name change.
With that said, it sounds like your ex is blowing smoke.

What is the name of your state? Georgia

My court order is from around 10 years ago and I do have it in hand.
The order states that I have sole custody while my ex has every other weekend, alternating holidays, and a few weeks during summer. He has not exercised his visitation in around 6 years and has only called twice. Both are to tell me about a health issue so I would be aware it was genetic. He spoke to our son (13) for a total of two minutes. That is the most contact we have had outside of emails. He has moved states and has not kept me up to date (per the court order) as to where his location is. He has not paid child support in around 3 years and is currently 10k in arrears.
He emailed me today asking about the name change on the birth certificate. He was legitimated and the court ordered that the last name would be hyphenated with both the fathers and mine. When I had asked about this years ago, I was told the lawyers would submit it. I just called local vital records, and they also said the same thing. I was led to believe this is truth.
He's been pretty aggressive in responses prior. For example, I sent him my new address and accidentally switched two of the numbers. I noticed and corrected myself, but he started saying that I am lucky he doesn't hold me in contempt.

He has just written me another email saying he is writing our son out of his will because I refuse to let our son have only his last name.

I'm more worried that he will try and hold me in contempt. Would he even try, knowing he is not following the court order, himself?

What last name has the child been using the last 10 years? What name is on the child's SS card? Is this a case where you have followed the spirit of the order but it just technically didn't get changed officially?

 

[Foxfire514]

What last name has the child been using the last 10 years? What name is on the child's SS card? Is this a case where you have followed the spirit of the order but it just technically didn't get changed officially?

I haven't had to get a replacement since they were issued and had assumed the birth certificate would just be changed. Same with the social security card. I just haven't really thought about the name change in years. It was never done in malice or because I wasn't behind the idea, just because I thought it was already handled. It also took him this long to even inquire about it.

According to school he goes by the hyphenated name and he uses it about 50/50 himself.

This was an honest, yet irresponsible mistake on my part. My lawyer for the case doesn't have a practice anymore so I can't inquire there either.

 

[quincy]

I haven't had to get a replacement since they were issued and had assumed the birth certificate would just be changed. Same with the social security card. I just haven't really thought about the name change in years. It was never done in malice or because I wasn't behind the idea, just because I thought it was already handled. It also took him this long to even inquire about it.

According to school he goes by the hyphenated name and he uses it about 50/50 himself.

This was an honest, yet irresponsible mistake on my part. My lawyer for the case doesn't have a practice anymore so I can't inquire there either.

What name was used originally on the birth certificate? Just your own last name? Have you ordered a copy of the birth certificate to see if changes have been made or are you relying only on phone calls?

 

[Foxfire514]

What name was used originally on the birth certificate? Just your own last name? Have you ordered a copy of the birth certificate to see if changes have been made or are you relying only on phone calls?

Yes, it was just my name on the birth certificate. Our son was legitimated through the court. I am going to go to the vital records office that handles these inquiries when I am off of work this week and talk to them/ see what I need to do. I am only relying on phone calls today as I was at work. The second he asked, I started calling to see.
I will be asking what I need to do to amend the birth certificate. I am also confused because I thought he would have to sign something for his name to be added? That's part of why I accepted that the lawyers handled it.

 

[quincy]

Yes, it was just my name on the birth certificate. Our son was legitimated through the court. I am going to go to the vital records office that handles these inquiries when I am off of work this week and talk to them/ see what I need to do. I am only relying on phone calls today as I was at work. The second he asked, I started calling to see.
I will be asking what I need to do to amend the birth certificate. I am also confused because I thought he would have to sign something for his name to be added? That's part of why I accepted that the lawyers handled it.

When you go to the Office of Vital Records, you should take with you a certified copy of the court order that granted legitimation, in order to add the father’s name to the birth certificate.

 

[zddoodah]

Would he even try, knowing he is not following the court order, himself?

People who don't know him (like everyone here) have no way of intelligently answering this question. Note that, while I can't really tell if you're in contempt of anything, your posts clearly indicates that he is in contempt of the child support obligation. Query why you haven't sought to enforce that.

 

[Foxfire514]

People who don't know him (like everyone here) have no way of intelligently answering this question. Note that, while I can't really tell if you're in contempt of anything, your posts clearly indicates that he is in contempt of the child support obligation. Query why you haven't sought to enforce that.

Child support is being handled by the state and, if I am being honest, I am afraid of some kind of retaliation if I were to file contempt on the other issues. He did email me a few times after I made this post and started saying the reason he has no relationship with our son is because I went to the state and he takes pleasure in knowing that even though I went through the state, I will get no money. I guess he kind of just gave me fodder for the court.
As for contempt in regard to myself- I worry that he could file contempt on me because the birth certificate is not changed.

Also.. Understood. That question didn't make sense for the forum. Apologies.

 

[quincy]

Child support is being handled by the state and, if I am being honest, I am afraid of some kind of retaliation if I were to file contempt on the other issues. …

You mentioned that he moves around. Do you know his current location now (i.e., state, street address)? Does the state know his current location now?

The state and/or a private collection agency can help you collect the child support you are owed, if he is behind by at least three months. Here is a link to Georgia’s Consumer Protection Division with additional information:

https://consumer.georgia.gov/consumer-topics/child-support-collection

I understand that there are other issues that make you fear retaliation if you seek enforcement of the child support order. You know what you are comfortable pursuing.

Good luck.

 

[Foxfire514]

You mentioned that he moves around. Do you know his current location now (i.e., state, street address)? Does the state know his current location now?

The state and/or a private collection agency can help you collect the child support you are owed, if he is behind by at least three months. Here is a link to Georgia’s Consumer Protection Division with additional information:

https://consumer.georgia.gov/consumer-topics/child-support-collection

I understand that there are other issues that make you fear retaliation if you seek enforcement of the child support order. You know what you are comfortable pursuing.

Good luck.

Neither the state or I know where he is currently. He is supposedly in Alabama and I updated his address with DCSS but that house is now vacant. Last I heard, his wife was talking about moving back to our area.

I appreciate the information! I will have to look into agencies aside from DCSS as they have not had much luck.

 

[quincy]

Neither the state or I know where he is currently. He is supposedly in Alabama and I updated his address with DCSS but that house is now vacant. Last I heard, his wife was talking about moving back to our area.

I appreciate the information! I will have to look into agencies aside from DCSS as they have not had much luck.

You might also look into the Federal Tax Refund Offset Program, which can withhold tax refunds for payment of delinquent child support debts.

Here is some information:
https://fiscal.treasury.gov/top/#:~:text=To the extent allowed by,federal and state delinquent debts.

 

[LdiJ]

Child support is being handled by the state and, if I am being honest, I am afraid of some kind of retaliation if I were to file contempt on the other issues. He did email me a few times after I made this post and started saying the reason he has no relationship with our son is because I went to the state and he takes pleasure in knowing that even though I went through the state, I will get no money. I guess he kind of just gave me fodder for the court.
As for contempt in regard to myself- I worry that he could file contempt on me because the birth certificate is not changed.

Also.. Understood. That question didn't make sense for the forum. Apologies.

I think that you should stop worrying about him filing contempt against you for the birth certificate. You honestly believed that the lawyers were handling the birth certificate and Social Security card, plus you officially enrolled the child in school with the hyphenated name, which is further proof that you thought it was handled. Otherwise, why wouldn't you have just enrolled the child with only your last name? So if he does file for contempt you can easily show that it was not an intentional thing. It is unlikely the judge would do anything more than order you to get it handled.

Also, changing the name did not require YOU specifically to handle it. As you are already aware, the lawyers could have handled it, but the bigger thing is that there was absolutely nothing stopping dad from handling it himself. He could have taken the court orders to the vital records department and to the Social Security office himself and handled the name change.

You also should be aware however that unless/until his name has been corrected with Social Security, the government won't recognize the name change. That part of it should probably get done ASAP. It could cause your son problems down the road if his birth certificate, school records, driver's license, social security card etc. don't all match. Many parents have caused their children all kinds of issues with that. You didn't know before, but now you do and it needs to get handled, not so much for dad's or the court's sake, but for your son's sake.

 

[quincy]

…As you are already aware, the lawyers could have handled it, but the bigger thing is that there was absolutely nothing stopping dad from handling it himself. He could have taken the court orders to the vital records department and to the Social Security office himself and handled the name change. …

What I have bolded above is a great point - and casually mentioning this to the dad could be a good way to shut him up.