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upset!child support for a kid we have NEVER knew about until she was 12!!!!!!

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frustrated99

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? arkansas

How can this happen?? A girl got pregnant in 1989. She claims the child is my husbands, she has not proven it. My husbands brother was sleeping with her also. My husband was never notified in any fashion until 2001. We have never seen this child who is now 16 1/2. I am the "breadwinner" in my family. My husband and I have been married since 1991. We have 3 children. The child support enforcement tells me they can attach my income tax(even if I file injured spouse). The courts have awarded child support without my husband even being there. He has not and does not work. He stays home with our 3 children. He hasn't avoided this woman. He just didn't know about her. Is there anything a man can do when a woman waits until the man has established his life 12 years later and now wants money(which he has NONE). If child support has to be paid, I will have to pay it out of my wages and make my own children go without. This doesn't seem right. Anyone else know what to do.
 


CJane

CJane

Senior Member
Tell hubby to get a job?

Before a child support order can be issued, paternity has to be proven, child support has to be filed for, and then it has to be ordered. Hubby will have an opportunity to establish that he's a homemaker, and has no income. Child support would still be awarded, based on various factors.

Chill out until y'all receive an order for a DNA test. Until he's legally the father, he's under no obligation to do anything.
 
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averad

Member
frustrated99 said:
What is the name of your state? arkansas

How can this happen?? A girl got pregnant in 1989. She claims the child is my husbands, she has not proven it. My husbands brother was sleeping with her also. My husband was never notified in any fashion until 2001. We have never seen this child who is now 16 1/2. I am the "breadwinner" in my family. My husband and I have been married since 1991. We have 3 children. The child support enforcement tells me they can attach my income tax(even if I file injured spouse). The courts have awarded child support without my husband even being there. He has not and does not work. He stays home with our 3 children. He hasn't avoided this woman. He just didn't know about her. Is there anything a man can do when a woman waits until the man has established his life 12 years later and now wants money(which he has NONE). If child support has to be paid, I will have to pay it out of my wages and make my own children go without. This doesn't seem right. Anyone else know what to do.
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Has paternity been astablished? You state the courts have awarded child support with out him even beeing there but (from my basic understanding) they cannot do that untill paternity has been astablished.
 
CJane

CJane

Senior Member
Oh sorry. Ignore my previous post (well, most of it anyway). If there's an order for support, then paternity was established - maybe by default because dad didn't show up for a hearing? Worth looking into.

The part of my post you need to NOT ignore is the part about dad getting a job.
 
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BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
THere is a lot more to this story. Support cannot legally be ordered without service of process....so ask hubby why he ignored the letters
 
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frustrated99

Junior Member
scared to death

My husband has mental issues with panic attacks, alcoholism, has been in the state mental hospital and diagnosed with "Manic depression". This mother thinks she was bad off not having him in this childs life, little does she know she saved money by him not being there. :confused:
 
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averad

Member
frustrated99 said:
My husband has mental issues with panic attacks, alcoholism, has been in the state mental hospital and diagnosed with "Manic depression". This mother thinks she was bad off not having him in this childs life, little does she know she saved money by him not being there. :confused:
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All that and he stays at home and raises your children?

Still wondering about:
1) letters per BelizeBreeze's post
2) paternity per Averad and CJane
 
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frustrated99

Junior Member
more to the story

He didn't ignore the letter, but he didn't go to court. He doesn't believe he is the father but you know how that is. My biggest delima is: can I be forced to pay for him?? Can child support be determined with my earnings?? Can I lose my house, car, truck, bank account, just because we are married? This happened before we were married and like I said before he did not know until 2001(and that is proven, which is why child support didn't start until then, plus to make it even more difficult the child enforcement place sent us a letter 8/03 and closed the case and removed the amount owed from his credit report leading us to believe it was over and now last week all of the sudden he recieves his first child support coupons.
 
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frustrated99

Junior Member
averad said:
All that and he stays at home and raises your children?

Still wondering about:
1) letters per BelizeBreeze's post
2) paternity per Averad and CJane
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He is a good father, but he does have issues. He is on medication to help him. He can't handle being in crowds. My point is: can I, the wife, be held accountable legally and is it alright to wait 12 years for the mother to contact us. We haven't even seen or spoken to this child ever. I finally contacted the mother myself after looking her up on the internet. She is living in Florida so there is no way my husband will ever have any relationship with this girl.
 
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averad

Member
frustrated99 said:
He didn't ignore the letter, but he didn't go to court.
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I believe its one or the other, if he didn_t go to court he did ignore the letter (reading it doesn't count).

I believe the first act of business is to establish paternity before ever paying.

I however am not schooled in law so my information is just what I have learned from reading.

More qualified posts to come.
 
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frustrated99

Junior Member
maybe you are missing the point

He should have went to court**************.that isn't my issue. Can I the wife who came into his life after this child was concieved be held responsible just because I am married to him. I know what he should have done.
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
frustrated99 said:
He should have went to court**************.that isn't my issue. Can I the wife who came into his life after this child was concieved be held responsible just because I am married to him. I know what he should have done.
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You cannot be held responsible. However they can attach any joint assets (ie house and cars) joint tax returns, joint bank accounts etc., for the money if he doesn't pay. They can also put him in jail or suspend his driver's license if he doesn't pay.

Therefore, if you don't pay it for him, or make him get at least a part time job to pay for it himself, ultimately it will cause problems for you and your children.

However, its not true that they can still take your SHARE of the tax refund even if you claim injured spouse.

The whole point about him not going to court was its possible that biologically he is not the father. However, by not going to court he allowed himself to be declared the legal father by default.
 
Just Blue

Just Blue

Senior Member
frustrated99 said:
He should have went to court**************.that isn't my issue. Can I the wife who came into his life after this child was concieved be held responsible just because I am married to him. I know what he should have done.
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YES!! Your husband doesn't work...but he has a child that he is responsible for.....the money is going to come from somewhere.If you don't want to end up paying ...Divorce him!!..Or as Ldij says...let him go to jail...

You are in this mess because your husband didn't go to court and request a DNA to make sure the child is his...Don't get mad at the child, the mother or CSE...Get mad at the guy who couldn't bother to show up!
 
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weenor

Senior Member
No they can't take your wages or your assets....however, they can and apparently did impute an income to him...in other words, since he chose not to show in court there was no evidence of his inability to work or to pay child support. If he is receiving SSDI then that child should be getting it and the amount will be credited to his obligation although it may not get rid of the obligation altogether...Also if that judgment for child support has been sitting around for a few years, it likely cannot be challenged now, but check with a local Arkansas lawyer. Btw keep ignoring this and they will attach to your joint assets, including your bank account and you will have to prove what it yours.
 
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AHA

Senior Member
frustrated99 said:
My point is: can I, the wife, be held accountable legally
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No, but if hubby gets ordered to pay it will be from your paycheck since he doesn't have an income.
 
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