Absolutely frustrated and could use some opinions...

[Antigone*]

Thanks to everyone for the replys. I mentioned the possibility of this to ex and he has threatened legal action if I follow thru with it so I've been a little nervous, but I still think it's in the best interest of our kids.

There is really no legal action for him to take. Unless there is a change in circumstance that would merit a change in custody he is out in the middle of the lake without a paddle.

You be strong and let him rant and rave all he wants. You be tough for your kids and do what you believe is right. Do no violate any court-ordered parenting time for him and you'll be fine.

take care, ana

 

[Raisingmaddy]

What a mess...

Hello everyone...

Had court yesterday, again. It started out as a modification of child support and some other things have come of it and I would like to give an update AND get some extra opinions.

So, even though ex moved approx. five hours away to be with his girlfriend the judge ordered that he get almost $550.00 per month off of his child support since he does the driving now. His parent's live in the same town I do and he drives here and stays here for his weekends with the kiddos. This was his choice. I asked that the amount be reduced some, and it was originally at the last hearing, but his parents showed up at this hearing and the judge changed his mind and gave him the full amount. I'm not happy about this, but I can definitely deal with it.

Next, my ex never picks the kiddos up Friday evening per the agreement. He has been picking them up Saturday morning for about the last year. I have been perfectly fine with this, never had any issues about it. His parent's have decided they want more time with our kids and they showed up in court and asked the judge on their own if they could pick up our children Friday evenings. The interesting thing as well was this was addressed at the last hearing two weeks ago and the judge said that due to the history with his parent's he decided they should not be picking up the kids for the ex. Since they showed up at this hearing and requested it themselves the judge went ahead and granted it.

I absolutely could NOT believe the lies they told the judge right in front of me, I almost fell out of my chair but they have done this in and out of court before so I shouldn't be surprised. Anyways...I'm not happy about it due to the past history with them, however, I can deal with this as well.

So, a couple hours after court yesterday the grandparents called my home phone and my cell phone and left a nasty message on both. They said that they are "expecting" me to return their call to "make arrangements" for my children to go to their home this week (on my time) and they even said in both messages they are DOCUMENTING the phone calls to me. Some other things were said as well. They actually seem to think that since they are allowed to pick kiddos up on Dad's weekends they have the right to pick them up whenever they want AND if I don't comply they threatened me with "documentation and court"

You have all told me before to tell them to pound sand, does that still apply?

 

[Rushia]

Hello everyone...

Had court yesterday, again. It started out as a modification of child support and some other things have come of it and I would like to give an update AND get some extra opinions.

So, even though ex moved approx. five hours away to be with his girlfriend the judge ordered that he get almost $550.00 per month off of his child support since he does the driving now. His parent's live in the same town I do and he drives here and stays here for his weekends with the kiddos. This was his choice. I asked that the amount be reduced some, and it was originally at the last hearing, but his parents showed up at this hearing and the judge changed his mind and gave him the full amount. I'm not happy about this, but I can definitely deal with it.

Next, my ex never picks the kiddos up Friday evening per the agreement. He has been picking them up Saturday morning for about the last year. I have been perfectly fine with this, never had any issues about it. His parent's have decided they want more time with our kids and they showed up in court and asked the judge on their own if they could pick up our children Friday evenings. The interesting thing as well was this was addressed at the last hearing two weeks ago and the judge said that due to the history with his parent's he decided they should not be picking up the kids for the ex. Since they showed up at this hearing and requested it themselves the judge went ahead and granted it.

I absolutely could NOT believe the lies they told the judge right in front of me, I almost fell out of my chair but they have done this in and out of court before so I shouldn't be surprised. Anyways...I'm not happy about it due to the past history with them, however, I can deal with this as well.

So, a couple hours after court yesterday the grandparents called my home phone and my cell phone and left a nasty message on both. They said that they are "expecting" me to return their call to "make arrangements" for my children to go to their home this week (on my time) and they even said in both messages they are DOCUMENTING the phone calls to me. Some other things were said as well. They actually seem to think that since they are allowed to pick kiddos up on Dad's weekends they have the right to pick them up whenever they want AND if I don't comply they threatened me with "documentation and court"

You have all told me before to tell them to pound sand, does that still apply?

How were they even able to speak to the judge?

 

[AkersTile]

Do not respond to the GPs except to send an e-mail or text saying that they can pick kiddo up at XX time on the Fri of Dad's weekends. Save all messages from them and any other correspondence just in case. I don't think anything could amount from it if they decided to take you to court, but I'm not 100% positive so let the Sr's clarify.

I'm glad Hubby and I don't have to deal with that. His Ex-In-Law's (?) are AMAZING!

On another note... Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

 

[Rushia]

Do not respond to the GPs except to send an e-mail or text saying that they can pick kiddo up at XX time on the Fri of Dad's weekends. Save all messages from them and any other correspondence just in case. I don't think anything could amount from it if they decided to take you to court, but I'm not 100% positive so let the Sr's clarify.

I'm glad Hubby and I don't have to deal with that. His Ex-In-Law's (?) are AMAZING!

On another note... Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Well, technically, that sounds about right. They only have the right to pick up the children on the father's weekend. However, it concerns me that they were allowed to insinuate themselves into a parent vs parent case. If the judge actually made that kind of ruling on the grandparents testimony in that case instead of filing their own case, I believe that she should appeal that ruling on the grounds that her rights to due process were violated.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

How were they even able to speak to the judge?

Rushia, I wish I knew how to answer that. My ex husband called and left a message on my voicemail yesterday morning before court and said " I'm just warning you that my parents plan to be in the court room"

They were sitting and watching and then my ex's dad raised his hand and asked the judge if he could speak to the court and the judge said "sure, come on up" and then he spewed all kinds of things about be that were not even true, and requested to be able to pick kiddos up when dad can't on his weekends and the judge said sure thing.

Interestingly enough, both of my ex in laws are ex police officers here and when my ex father in law got up to speak he AND the judge said hello to each other by first name, this was before he stated who he was. My ex in laws both know the judge on a personal level.

The judge told me that he "technically" wasn't supposed to rule on this the way it was presented, However, he made it VERY clear in open court that If I requested a continuance for the proper forms to be filed he would "make sure" that he rules the same way either way.

I can deal with the fact that they can now pick the kiddos up on Dad's time, I was prepared for that (thanks to all of you!!) but I am very upset about what was actually allowed in the court room and even more upset that for some reason the ex in laws now think they can bully and threaten me into allowing them to pick the kiddos up whenever they want on my time.

I don't even want to answer or return ANY of their phone calls, at the same time I don't want to risk doing "something wrong" because they "know" the judge. I can't even imagine they could possibly do anything if I don't give in to their threats, but I NEED to make sure.

Thank you all so much, I'm so worried right now I just don't know what to do.

 

[Rushia]

Rushia, I wish I knew how to answer that. My ex husband called and left a message on my voicemail yesterday morning before court and said " I'm just warning you that my parents plan to be in the court room"

They were sitting and watching and then my ex's dad raised his hand and asked the judge if he could speak to the court and the judge said "sure, come on up" and then he spewed all kinds of things about be that were not even true, and requested to be able to pick kiddos up when dad can't on his weekends and the judge said sure thing.

Interestingly enough, both of my ex in laws are ex police officers here and when my ex father in law got up to speak he AND the judge said hello to each other by first name, this was before he stated who he was. My ex in laws both know the judge on a personal level.

The judge told me that he "technically" wasn't supposed to rule on this the way it was presented, However, he made it VERY clear in open court that If I requested a continuance for the proper forms to be filed he would "make sure" that he rules the same way either way.

I can deal with the fact that they can now pick the kiddos up on Dad's time, I was prepared for that (thanks to all of you!!) but I am very upset about what was actually allowed in the court room and even more upset that for some reason the ex in laws now think they can bully and threaten me into allowing them to pick the kiddos up whenever they want on my time.

I don't even want to answer or return ANY of their phone calls, at the same time I don't want to risk doing "something wrong" because they "know" the judge. I can't even imagine they could possibly do anything if I don't give in to their threats, but I NEED to make sure.

Thank you all so much, I'm so worried right now I just don't know what to do.

You NEED to appeal this IMMEDIATELY. If he actually stated on the record that he KNEW it was improper then you have an appeal. That ruling VIOLATED your rights. If you follow thru with the proper appeals on this ruling then perhaps gp's will understand that they can't bully you. You are allowing them to do so. Appeal this NOW.

In the meantime, as far as them requesting them time when it's not dad's time. Simply repeat this line whether it's email or talking on the phone "The court order states that you may pick up the children only on the Friday nights of your son's time. Thank you." Leave it at that.

 

[LdiJ]

You NEED to appeal this IMMEDIATELY. If he actually stated on the record that he KNEW it was improper then you have an appeal. That ruling VIOLATED your rights. If you follow thru with the proper appeals on this ruling then perhaps gp's will understand that they can't bully you. You are allowing them to do so. Appeal this NOW.

In the meantime, as far as them requesting them time when it's not dad's time. Simply repeat this line whether it's email or talking on the phone "The court order states that you may pick up the children only on the Friday nights of your son's time. Thank you." Leave it at that.

I would change that slightly "the judge stated that you may pick up the children on the Friday nights of dad's weekends."...instead of "the court order states".

I am only saying that because it doesn't appear certain that the judge reduced it to a written order.

I do agree that you should appeal the judge's ruling, but if he didn't make it a written order, there is nothing to appeal.

 

[CJane]

I would change that slightly "the judge stated that you may pick up the children on the Friday nights of dad's weekends."...instead of "the court order states".

I am only saying that because it doesn't appear certain that the judge reduced it to a written order.

I do agree that you should appeal the judge's ruling, but if he didn't make it a written order, there is nothing to appeal.

It seems to me that ANYTHING contained in a new order that is NOT regarding child support specifically should be tossed out.

And yes, if it's not a written order, it can't be appealed... but it can't be ENFORCED either.

 

[Rushia]

I would change that slightly "the judge stated that you may pick up the children on the Friday nights of dad's weekends."...instead of "the court order states".

I am only saying that because it doesn't appear certain that the judge reduced it to a written order.

I do agree that you should appeal the judge's ruling, but if he didn't make it a written order, there is nothing to appeal.

Your way is better. LOL, they don't all get written down and mailed to you? Sorry, I was thinking my NY thoughts again.

 

[LdiJ]

Your way is better. LOL, they don't all get written down and mailed to you? Sorry, I was thinking my NY thoughts again.

They should, but I bet this is one the judge won't actually reduce to a written order, because the judge knows that it was legally improper. I suspect that the judge will just hope that she obeys it without it being a written order. I could be wrong, but that's my guess.

 

[Rushia]

They should, but I bet this is one the judge won't actually reduce to a written order, because the judge knows that it was legally improper. I suspect that the judge will just hope that she obeys it without it being a written order. I could be wrong, but that's my guess.

What about the transcripts?

 

[LdiJ]

What about the transcripts?

Its an illegal order. The judge admitted that. The transcripts won't make any difference...at least not to the issue of whether or not she can appeal. The transcripts would help a great deal in the appeal itself however.

The judge allowed someone who was not a party to the suit, stand up and speak in the middle of a child support hearing, asking for third party visitation. There was no motion before the court, no due process, and nothing done according to proper legal procedure. On top of that the judge was a personal friend or acquaintance of the third party.

The appeals court would have a heyday with that one, but unfortunately its not appealable unless its reduced to a written order.

 

[Rushia]

Its an illegal order. The judge admitted that. The transcripts won't make any difference...at least not to the issue of whether or not she can appeal. The transcripts would help a great deal in the appeal itself however.

The judge allowed someone who was not a party to the suit, stand up and speak in the middle of a child support hearing, asking for third party visitation. There was no motion before the court, no due process, and nothing done according to proper legal procedure. On top of that the judge was a personal friend or acquaintance of the third party.

The appeals court would have a heyday with that one, but unfortunately its not appealable unless its reduced to a written order.

If it's not written then does she actually have to follow it?

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Its an illegal order. The judge admitted that. The transcripts won't make any difference...at least not to the issue of whether or not she can appeal. The transcripts would help a great deal in the appeal itself however.

The judge allowed someone who was not a party to the suit, stand up and speak in the middle of a child support hearing, asking for third party visitation. There was no motion before the court, no due process, and nothing done according to proper legal procedure. On top of that the judge was a personal friend or acquaintance of the third party.

The appeals court would have a heyday with that one, but unfortunately its not appealable unless its reduced to a written order.

Ummm...Just want to make sure I am on the same page. I do not think that it will be put into a written order, but I'm not completely sure yet. Even if it is not, since the Judge technically said "I'm ordering this" don't I HAVE to abide by it? I don't EVER want to be found in contempt, or ignore a judges ruling.