Another Child support question

[fairisfair]

Unfortunately, I didnt consider what I was saying as waging battle. It was not my intention, whatsoever. But to each his own. Thx.

Good lord, you are snippy today. I was talking about your battle with the person who made the comment that she should be glad to get what she was getting, I believe it went on to talk about other posters here who would be glad to have an income imputed at X amount of dollars. Perhaps we shall talk again another day. later.

 

[MrsK]

You know, I have to say something that has been burning me up lately. I have read many posts with CPs asking questions about how to get support--how to be paid on time--what to do when they dont receive a portion, or a missed month. I have been seeing response after response that say "youre lucky you get anything--dont rock the boat--dont be greedy--some dont get anything".

While I agree that it is very unfortunate that many CP's dont receive their support for their children, I find it really depressing to be told--"youre lucky to get anything at all", the think of all the starving kids in China attitude.

If a court has ordered a NCP to pay a certain amount of support, well God Dang it--HOLD HIM TO THAT!!! I find it ridiculous that I should feel grateful or indebted that the NCP is doing what he supposed to do and if something is amiss, I should not rock the boat. This is MY CHILD'S support.

Some people may not agree with this but when support is not to you on time, or there is one missed month, JUMP ON THAT before it gets worse. Not rocking the boat is probably one reason so many NCP owe so much in arrears.

This is NOT a greedy opinion. This is a responsible and informed opinion. Dont feel guilty for trying to collected support that you are legally entitled to.

Isnt that usually said to people who are posting over something small & possibly insignificant? Like, for example, an NCP paying by the week, when it all comes out correct in the end. Or someone paying on the 15th when it was due on the 10th, etc. I'm a CP, I receive support. I am VERY grateful that I dont have a myriad of problems with my ex. Sometimes he is late paying, this fall he was about 8 wks in arrears. He paid me yesterday as he couldnt pay the full amt on the 5th when it was due. Is it annoying? Yep! Do I say something to my ex? Yep. BUT, I'm not off to court (my case isnt through SES) to file a motion. I think you hear that (you should feel lucky, etc) b/c ppl are saying "My support was due on the 30th and its the 15th (of the next month) and I havent gotten anything yet, what do I do?" and honestly, SES isnt even going to touch your case for someone being 2 weeks overdue. You MIGHT get them to make a phone call. But usually they will not do anything until an NCP is more than 30 days overdue. And considering there are CP's whose children are owed like $50k, $100k, god knows how much, etc, someone who didnt get their support for ONE month should really be grateful to be one of the lucky ones who doesnt get shorted. You've heard it before that if an NCP doesnt want to pay, to a certain extent NO ONE can get them to pay. So, yeah, CP's should be grateful if they dont have an NCP who is doing that. I mean, yes, if your ex is months and months behind, sure, you should do what you can about it...but if the NCP is a month behind and there is a chance he/she will still pay or if they lost their job but will pay & make up arrears as soon as they get a new job, and they are looking- its pointless to get up in arms about it because they may pay before SES can even get to the case.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Isnt that usually said to people who are posting over something small & possibly insignificant? Like, for example, an NCP paying by the week, when it all comes out correct in the end. Or someone paying on the 15th when it was due on the 10th, etc.

I just want to clarify that I am not upset, complaining, or wanting to change anything about how my order is being handled, I am just not used to actually receiving cs so I was just asking how it is usually handled. Thanks!

 

[Silverplum]

I just want to clarify that I am not upset, complaining, or wanting to change anything about how my order is being handled, I am just not used to actually receiving cs so I was just asking how it is usually handled. Thanks!

I know that, and you have been very open and sensible. But I can see why you wanted to clear it up!

 

[MrsK]

Isnt that usually said to people who are posting over something small & possibly insignificant? Like, for example, an NCP paying by the week, when it all comes out correct in the end. Or someone paying on the 15th when it was due on the 10th, etc.

I just want to clarify that I am not upset, complaining, or wanting to change anything about how my order is being handled, I am just not used to actually receiving cs so I was just asking how it is usually handled. Thanks!

I am not specifically speaking of you, OP. Other ppl have asked that question & many others, acting like it was some big deal, when it wasnt. No worries.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Thank you both I truly appreciate all of your opinions (Even yours Growup ) I just wanted to make sure to clear that up so there wasn't any confusion

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you both I truly appreciate all of your opinions (Even yours Growup ) I just wanted to make sure to clear that up so there wasn't any confusion

Thank YOU for being a reasonable poster who actually considers the advice! Those are few & far between... As are those who never say thank you...grumble, grumble...but you don't fall into that category, either!

Seriously -- I'm sorry for going off-track in your thread. It was probably me that started the whole mess, and I'm sorry.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Thank YOU for being a reasonable poster who actually considers the advice! Those are few & far between... As are those who never say thank you...grumble, grumble...but you don't fall into that category, either!

Seriously -- I'm sorry for going off-track in your thread. It was probably me that started the whole mess, and I'm sorry.

Acutally, it's great. I like to read all the different stories about CP and NCP and the different situations that arise. It helps me see and understand the other side of the fence

 

[Silverplum]

Acutally, it's great. I like to read all the different stories about CP and NCP and the different situations that arise. It helps me see and understand the other side of the fence

It's amazing how it helps!!

Co-parenting can be difficult -- but it is best for the kid. So the more we understand each other, the better it is for the only thing we have in common: the kid/s.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

It's amazing how it helps!!

Co-parenting can be difficult -- but it is best for the kid. So the more we understand each other, the better it is for the only thing we have in common: the kid/s.

Exactly!!! I have to say that since I started reading the stories on this site, I am more understanding of my ex, and also less naive to a lot of the things he trys But I don't let the little things bother me anymore, which makes a HUGE difference in my happiness, not to mention the little ones can sense when mommy and daddy are/ or are not getting along, and it's SO much better for them if you do (or at least try to)

 

[GrowUp!]

I am a proverbial boat rocker. (news flash huh??)

I'll better that...I tip the damn thing over!

 

[Silverplum]

I'll better that...I tip the damn thing over!

You are frequently naughty...

 

[GrowUp!]

You know, I have to say something that has been burning me up lately. I have read many posts with CPs asking questions about how to get support--how to be paid on time--what to do when they dont receive a portion, or a missed month. I have been seeing response after response that say "youre lucky you get anything--dont rock the boat--dont be greedy--some dont get anything".

While I agree that it is very unfortunate that many CP's dont receive their support for their children, I find it really depressing to be told--"youre lucky to get anything at all", the think of all the starving kids in China attitude.

If a court has ordered a NCP to pay a certain amount of support, well God Dang it--HOLD HIM TO THAT!!! I find it ridiculous that I should feel grateful or indebted that the NCP is doing what he supposed to do and if something is amiss, I should not rock the boat. This is MY CHILD'S support.

Some people may not agree with this but when support is not to you on time, or there is one missed month, JUMP ON THAT before it gets worse.

And guess what? The court will be PISSED if you are in there because of one missed month. It's the same thing when it comes to parenting time. Dragging the parent into court EACH TIME will just bog the court down even more. Plus, I am not aware of support being delivered on "set dates", per se. When there is a garnishment, the employer is required to send in that amount within a specific amount of time. THEN when the CSEA receives it, they are then required to send it to the obligee within a set amount of time. So, just for one paycheck garnishment, it could take up to TWO WEEKS for the Obligee to get their money. And that's not including holidays.

But if you notice, there are way too many parents who rely more than they should on child support and get all bent out of shape because it's "late." It's public policy that child support is NOT meant to benefit the obligee, but only the child. So, if the CP is bent out of shape because the child support is late (cue "Gold Digger'" LOL) and they are on the brink of the phone being shut off, then the CP has a budget problem. While people hate garnishments, in cs cases, it's actually a good thing because it protects the Obligor. Once it's out of your check, it's also out of your hands. If it's late or whatever, not your problem -- even better when you have pay stubs to back it up.

I am convinced that when it comes to the most abused system in this country, child support is giving welfare a run for its' title. LOL

Not rocking the boat is probably one reason so many NCP owe so much in arrears.

Nope. Bigger than that. Many states are over their head with child support cases, so it takes MONTHS before an order is issued. So, the obligor is automatically in arrears. Plus, there are parents that will just refuse to pay and they will go to leaps and bounds to make sure of it.

Some people have to pick their battles wisely (and I am guilty of this, too). If an obligee is going to get bent out of shape to the point a blood vessel is going to burst, then perhaps they need to sit down and figure out WHY they are in the financial mess they are. It certainly is NOT because that child support check did not come when THEY THOUGHT it was going to.

 

[jbowman]

And guess what? The court will be PISSED if you are in there because of one missed month.

When did I mention going to court because of one missed month????

It's the same thing when it comes to parenting time. Dragging the parent into court EACH TIME will just bog the court down even more.

Again, WHERE in my post did I say to run to court????

Plus, I am not aware of support being delivered on "set dates", per se.

I, for one have an order that states "9. Child support payments shall be payable in advance and shall commence on November 1, 2006, pursuant to Family Code Section 4009, and shall continue on the first (1st) day of each and every month thereafter." I take that to mean that the support is due on a set date--the 1st day of the month.

When there is a garnishment, the employer is required to send in that amount within a specific amount of time. THEN when the CSEA receives it, they are then required to send it to the obligee within a set amount of time. So, just for one paycheck garnishment, it could take up to TWO WEEKS for the Obligee to get their money. And that's not including holidays.

I am completely not concerned, nor was a referring to any delay due to an agency sending the support. But I will tell you one thing--contrary to your advice NOT to call the employer of MY NCP regarding a garnishement. I called (it was one month late) and CUSSED the payroll person out-- Wouldnt you know, there was a check in my mailbox this Monday". Thus my opinion, that I will not roll over and be thankful to get anything at all. I want what is due to my child!! The court ordered it, therefore I will make sure I receive it. It is the principal. And NO I personally will not starve without it. But it is a COURT ORDER --dont we talk about these all the time?? -- AND IT NEEDS TO BE ABIDED BY.

But if you notice, there are way too many parents who rely more than they should on child support and get all bent out of shape because it's "late." It's public policy that child support is NOT meant to benefit the obligee, but only the child. So, if the CP is bent out of shape because the child support is late (cue "Gold Digger'" LOL)

No, not a Gold Digger. I just firmly believe that the NCP should be doing his half.

and they are on the brink of the phone being shut off, then the CP has a budget problem. While people hate garnishments, in cs cases, it's actually a good thing because it protects the Obligor. Once it's out of your check, it's also out of your hands. If it's late or whatever, not your problem -- even better when you have pay stubs to back it up.

I am convinced that when it comes to the most abused system in this country, child support is giving welfare a run for its' title. LOL


Nope. Bigger than that. Many states are over their head with child support cases, so it takes MONTHS before an order is issued. So, the obligor is automatically in arrears. Plus, there are parents that will just refuse to pay and they will go to leaps and bounds to make sure of it.

Some people have to pick their battles wisely (and I am guilty of this, too). If an obligee is going to get bent out of shape to the point a blood vessel is going to burst, then perhaps they need to sit down and figure out WHY they are in the financial mess they are. It certainly is NOT because that child support check did not come when THEY THOUGHT it was going to.

I am not surprised that you chimed in on this--you are good for berating CP's for wanting the support their child deserves. My girl and I had this all squared away. I said my piece regarding this issue, she said hers and it was dead. I honestly didnt mean to offend--althought I guess I WAS being snippy. forgive But lo and behold, who wants to jump in and "lay down the law". And I have never allowed ANYTHING to allow my blood vessels to start bubbling--except for right this second.

 

[colleen1228]

I am not surprised that you chimed in on this--you are good for berating CP's for wanting the support their child deserves. My girl and I had this all squared away. I said my piece regarding this issue, she said hers and it was dead. I honestly didnt mean to offend--althought I guess I WAS being snippy. forgive But lo and behold, who wants to jump in and "lay down the law". And I have never allowed ANYTHING to allow my blood vessels to start bubbling--except for right this second.

It's good to hear someone making some kind of sense on this board. Nobody likes to get their child support late. Heck, when credit cards get paid one month late they impose fees and the percentage rate goes up. Maybe thats what should happen to csp too. I know realistically that that will never happen but it's just proving a point that no one likes to be paid late. These are children and they need to be taken care of. If the cp is responsible for the majority of the care of the children as far as getting them off to school,feeding, bathing, helping them with homework, reading to them, making sure they brush their teeth and take their vitamins,taking care of them when they are sick, missing days of work because they are sick or there is a snow day, taking them to the park,(need I go on), Then the least the ncp can do is make sure that they pay their csp on time.