Bleh. Stupidhead is at it again...

[CJane]

What is the name of your state? MO

So, I received a call today from an investigator with family services. He asked me to please call the city police dept because they all needed to meet with me. (And because THAT doesn't sound ominous AT ALL)

I called the police department, and spoke with a Sgt who said "Oh, yeah, you need to call him. We only go with because you live within city limits."

They gave me the investigator's number and I called and left him a voice mail to please call me back... so far he hasn't.

So, here's what I know.

The investigator and the police showed up at my apartment at some point today and we weren't home. The investigator then called me and the above took place.

The police couldn't tell me what this was regarding, just said "He has the paperwork, we're not really involved."

Obviously, I haven't spoken to the investigator yet.

I only have the girls until Tuesday at 8am and then they go to their dad's for their 2 weeks with him.

What's the protocol here? Do I keep calling the guy until I get in touch with him? Do I wait for the cops to come knocking on my door (and likely give me a heart attack)?

If they show up, do I HAVE to let them in - let's say I just got out of the shower, or I'm up to my elbows in dirty diaper, or we just sat down to lunch? Can I ask them to come back when it's more convenient for ME? Do I have to let everyone in?

I'm NOT trying to 'hide' anything at all. But I do suffer from anxiety disorder and it's seriously triggered by having ANY guests in my house, let alone a bunch of strangers with guns, and it's even worse with 'drop bys'... by boyfriend isn't allowed to come over without calling ahead of time - no one is. ... I just have this vision of the cops poking around while the investigator asks a million pointed questions and the kids freak out.

So... help?

Obviously, I feel seriously harassed by stupidhead, but there's nothing I can do about that, right?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? MO

So, I received a call today from an investigator with family services. He asked me to please call the city police dept because they all needed to meet with me. (And because THAT doesn't sound ominous AT ALL)

I called the police department, and spoke with a Sgt who said "Oh, yeah, you need to call him. We only go with because you live within city limits."

They gave me the investigator's number and I called and left him a voice mail to please call me back... so far he hasn't.

So, here's what I know.

The investigator and the police showed up at my apartment at some point today and we weren't home. The investigator then called me and the above took place.

The police couldn't tell me what this was regarding, just said "He has the paperwork, we're not really involved."

Obviously, I haven't spoken to the investigator yet.

I only have the girls until Tuesday at 8am and then they go to their dad's for their 2 weeks with him.

What's the protocol here? Do I keep calling the guy until I get in touch with him? Do I wait for the cops to come knocking on my door (and likely give me a heart attack)?

If they show up, do I HAVE to let them in - let's say I just got out of the shower, or I'm up to my elbows in dirty diaper, or we just sat down to lunch? Can I ask them to come back when it's more convenient for ME? Do I have to let everyone in?

I'm NOT trying to 'hide' anything at all. But I do suffer from anxiety disorder and it's seriously triggered by having ANY guests in my house, let alone a bunch of strangers with guns, and it's even worse with 'drop bys'... by boyfriend isn't allowed to come over without calling ahead of time - no one is. ... I just have this vision of the cops poking around while the investigator asks a million pointed questions and the kids freak out.

So... help?

Obviously, I feel seriously harassed by stupidhead, but there's nothing I can do about that, right?

I would keep trying to get ahold of the investigator....although that may not happen before Monday. However, I would keep trying. Don't be obnoxious about it, but keep trying. If at all possible you want this meeting to take place before the kids go with dad for his two weeks.

No, you do not have to automatically let them in....however it can color an investigator's opinion if you do not...but legally you do not have to let anybody into your home unless they have a warrant.

Has anything happened recently?

 

[CJane]

I would keep trying to get ahold of the investigator....although that may not happen before Monday. However, I would keep trying. Don't be obnoxious about it, but keep trying. If at all possible you want this meeting to take place before the kids go with dad for his two weeks.

Ok, that's my plan. I will agree to meet with him without the girls, or tell him when they'll be back and when we're usually home from school (it'll start while they're with their father) and not yet eating dinner, etc.

No, you do not have to automatically let them in....however it can color an investigator's opinion if you do not...but legally you do not have to let anybody into your home unless they have a warrant.

I know it will color their opinion. Yuck.

'Nother question... we're very rarely home except on Mon and Tues - if they continue dropping by, and we continue not being home, what then? On the message that the investigator left me, he said "I've been trying to get in touch with you and have been unable to" - but it's the first time he's called, does that mean he's stopped by before?

Has anything happened recently?

Not that I know of... except his wife is REALLY pushing him to sell the house and move in town. She's back to telling the kids not to get too comfortable at school this year because they'll be changing soon - and not to make friends at the apartment where I live because they'll be living full-time with their dad in the 'new' neighborhood before long anyway... but that's ongoing.

I realized today that in the nearly 4 years we've been divorced, we've spent 3 litigating. I'm TIRED of the crap, yanno?
/whine

 

[LdiJ]

'Nother question... we're very rarely home except on Mon and Tues - if they continue dropping by, and we continue not being home, what then? On the message that the investigator left me, he said "I've been trying to get in touch with you and have been unable to" - but it's the first time he's called, does that mean he's stopped by before?

It could be that he has stopped by before. In the next message you leave him, explain that you are more than happy to meet with him but that you need an appointment because you and the kids have a busy schedule.

Not that I know of... except his wife is REALLY pushing him to sell the house and move in town. She's back to telling the kids not to get too comfortable at school this year because they'll be changing soon - and not to make friends at the apartment where I live because they'll be living full-time with their dad in the 'new' neighborhood before long anyway... but that's ongoing.

Did you file the contempt motion that you prepared?....because someone needs to take this woman down a ton of pegs.

I realized today that in the nearly 4 years we've been divorced, we've spent 3 litigating. I'm TIRED of the crap, yanno?
/whine

I know you are tired of it....anyone would be in your situation.

 

[CJane]

It could be that he has stopped by before. In the next message you leave him, explain that you are more than happy to meet with him but that you need an appointment because you and the kids have a busy schedule.

Ok. I'm just scared I'll sound like I'm putting him off, and I'm NOT. But... i have a feeling that they come into these things expecting to find something wrong, and so they do. Am I wrong?

Did you file the contempt motion that you prepared?....because someone needs to take this woman down a ton of pegs.

No. I lost my job instead and the filing fee became a car payment. But, D'man is p/o'd enough about this recent development, he's offered to pay the filing fee. Unfortunately, I think i might be back to sq. one as the motion was on my computer at work...

 

[LdiJ]

Ok. I'm just scared I'll sound like I'm putting him off, and I'm NOT. But... i have a feeling that they come into these things expecting to find something wrong, and so they do. Am I wrong?



No. I lost my job instead and the filing fee became a car payment. But, D'man is p/o'd enough about this recent development, he's offered to pay the filing fee. Unfortunately, I think i might be back to sq. one as the motion was on my computer at work...

Dang girl, why didn't you email it to yourself!?

 

[CJane]

Dang girl, why didn't you email it to yourself!?

Because I'm a dumbass? I have a back-up on a mini drive, it's just not current... and I have a hard copy that I can retype if nec.

Question... I don't particularly WANT to call the GAL and inform her, but should I tell the investigator that there has been a GAL involved, and give him her contact information?

 

[LdiJ]

You are not entirely at square one, because alot of it is here....copy and paste it into your computer at home asap.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=361276

Edit to add:

I just went through "my documents" on my computer....and I have it....you emailed it to me. I can easily email it back to you if you think the version I have is more up to date than the one on your mini drive.

 

[CourtClerk]

Ok. I'm just scared I'll sound like I'm putting him off, and I'm NOT. But... i have a feeling that they come into these things expecting to find something wrong, and so they do. Am I wrong?

Used to be a social worker. While my insticts were to find anything that was wrong and look for the obvious,... I wasn't really LOOKING to nail everyone on everything. The things that stand out were the things that usually got people in an uncomfortable position. Also, if they had any tact at all, they wouldn't be interviewing you in front of the children.


No. I lost my job instead and the filing fee became a car payment. But, D'man is p/o'd enough about this recent development, he's offered to pay the filing fee. Unfortunately, I think i might be back to sq. one as the motion was on my computer at work...

Bad move CJane... things you do away from home... email back to home or print a hard copy (water under the bridge). Avail yourself to the investigators. Don't make it seem like you're trying to be difficult, this is serious business, even though stupidhead seems to be messing with you.

 

[CourtClerk]

Question... I don't particularly WANT to call the GAL and inform her, but should I tell the investigator that there has been a GAL involved, and give him her contact information?

ABSOLUTELY

 

[LdiJ]

Because I'm a dumbass? I have a back-up on a mini drive, it's just not current... and I have a hard copy that I can retype if nec.

Question... I don't particularly WANT to call the GAL and inform her, but should I tell the investigator that there has been a GAL involved, and give him her contact information?

I don't disagree with the response you got from CourtClerk...but I would want until you find out what the whole thing is about before doing that.

 

[CJane]

I don't disagree with the response you got from CourtClerk...but I would want until you find out what the whole thing is about before doing that.

Yeah, that's why I didn't want to call her, but thought it would be better to just say "hey, while you're here, let me give you this information" when they come to 'investigate'.

 

[MrsK]

So do you KNOW your ex called CPS on you or you just think its him?

 

[CJane]

So do you KNOW your ex called CPS on you or you just think its him?

I honestly cannot fathom who else would have... and he HAS been on a crusade to prove me unfit for the last 3.5 years... this would be a logical next step after losing the custody trial and the appeal... especially if he wants full custody before Christmas - and he does.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? MO

So, I received a call today from an investigator with family services. He asked me to please call the city police dept because they all needed to meet with me. (And because THAT doesn't sound ominous AT ALL)

I called the police department, and spoke with a Sgt who said "Oh, yeah, you need to call him. We only go with because you live within city limits."

They gave me the investigator's number and I called and left him a voice mail to please call me back... so far he hasn't.

So, here's what I know.

The investigator and the police showed up at my apartment at some point today and we weren't home. The investigator then called me and the above took place.

The police couldn't tell me what this was regarding, just said "He has the paperwork, we're not really involved."

Obviously, I haven't spoken to the investigator yet.

I only have the girls until Tuesday at 8am and then they go to their dad's for their 2 weeks with him.

What's the protocol here? Do I keep calling the guy until I get in touch with him? Do I wait for the cops to come knocking on my door (and likely give me a heart attack)?

If they show up, do I HAVE to let them in - let's say I just got out of the shower, or I'm up to my elbows in dirty diaper, or we just sat down to lunch? Can I ask them to come back when it's more convenient for ME? Do I have to let everyone in?

I'm NOT trying to 'hide' anything at all. But I do suffer from anxiety disorder and it's seriously triggered by having ANY guests in my house, let alone a bunch of strangers with guns, and it's even worse with 'drop bys'... by boyfriend isn't allowed to come over without calling ahead of time - no one is. ... I just have this vision of the cops poking around while the investigator asks a million pointed questions and the kids freak out.

So... help?

Obviously, I feel seriously harassed by stupidhead, but there's nothing I can do about that, right?

They need a warrant unless they have your permission, but LET THEM IN. Why wouldn't you?

The term 'triggered' leads me to believe you have a very specific type of anxiety disorder~ Please PM what your Dx is...it definately could matter in this situation.

It's imperative that you let the Social Worker know there is/has been a GAL assigned to your case. The only exception to that advice would be if there is bias against you on the part of the GAL.

Let D'man pay the filing fees. That woman is OUT OF CONTROL.

Just breathe through this...You're a good Mom. Stupidhead & nitwit are digging- let them just continue to get dirt all over themselves.