Can a teacher question a minor about her living situation without a parent

[commentator]

No one who has ever taught in a classroom of elementary children would believe they were NOT supposed to talk to the children about their lives, or that teachers don't hear an amazing number of unfiltered and unasked for bits of information about the child's living situation and the people in their homes. This is part of the classroom teacher's daily experience.

A child can refuse the services (either verbally or non verbally) of a guidance counselor. They're nice to have and can sometimes be helpful. But think about it. Something Mary says to the teacher, or her appearance or demeanor (or even smell) can alert the teacher that something problematic may be going on in Mary's life. It is against the rules, so she does not ask Mary why she is crying if she puts her head down on the desk and sobs. She makes Mary go up the hall to the office of a new strange person. Mary sits there and stares at the counselor. Eventually she goes back to class. She will do better next time at hiding what's going on. No, that's not how it works.

Teachers spend plenty of quality time with students, and are much more likely to receive confidences (depending on the age of the child) then a separate person in another part of the school, no matter what extent the counselor goes to establishing rapport. And if there were a requirement about what teachers can and can't discuss with their students, think about it, who would have the time and energy and capability to enforce it? OP. if you're doing something that you don't think is any of the teacher's business, it probably is something you should not be doing and you are about to get in trouble for it. Instead of trying to get the teacher in trouble for calling it to someone's attention, get busy and fix the situation you are forcing your child to be in that his/her teacher might find questionable.

 

[LdiJ]

You've surveyed enough teachers in Texas to know this is true?

Of course not. However I was the PTA president of my daughter's elementary school and did spend half days in the school and volunteered in a lot of classrooms and subbed when they had emergencies. I also taught middle school for a short while. My sister is a teacher, my aunt and grandmother were teachers. I have tons of teachers who are friends.

In elementary and middle school there really isn't much opportunity to have any private chats with students. High school is maybe a bit different. I was certainly encouraged to send students with possible problems at home to the guidance counselor...and I was emphatically told to send a child to the school nurse if I suspected any kind of abuse or neglect at all.

 

[quincy]

Of course not. However I was the PTA president of my daughter's elementary school and did spend half days in the school and volunteered in a lot of classrooms and subbed when they had emergencies. I also taught middle school for a short while. My sister is a teacher, my aunt and grandmother were teachers. I have tons of teachers who are friends.

In elementary and middle school there really isn't much opportunity to have any private chats with students. High school is maybe a bit different. I was certainly encouraged to send students with possible problems at home to the guidance counselor...and I was emphatically told to send a child to the school nurse if I suspected any kind of abuse or neglect at all.

Yes there is.

I think your experiences might be different because you were not a full time teacher. Substitutes generally do not develop a closeness with the students that full time teachers do.

But whatever your experience in the schools, it would not be UNUSUAL or WRONG for a teacher to have a private discussion with a student (depending on facts) ... and the private discussion would not require a parent be present.

 

[Just Blue]

Of course not. However I was the PTA president of my daughter's elementary school and did spend half days in the school and volunteered in a lot of classrooms and subbed when they had emergencies. I also taught middle school for a short while. My sister is a teacher, my aunt and grandmother were teachers. I have tons of teachers who are friends.

In elementary and middle school there really isn't much opportunity to have any private chats with students. High school is maybe a bit different. I was certainly encouraged to send students with possible problems at home to the guidance counselor...and I was emphatically told to send a child to the school nurse if I suspected any kind of abuse or neglect at all.

Were you the PTA President in Texas in the last 10 years? Ever?

 

[LdiJ]

Quincy,

When I said that there wasn't much opportunity to chat in private with students I wasn't speaking about closeness, I was speaking about time. Unless you were going to hold a child back from recess (considered a punishment) or pull them out of gym, art, or music (frowned upon) there was just no time/opportunity during the school day for a private chat with a child. Their lunch periods are only 17 minutes long as well (in my school district) so no time there either.

 

[quincy]

Quincy,

When I said that there wasn't much opportunity to chat in private with students I wasn't speaking about closeness, I was speaking about time. Unless you were going to hold a child back from recess (considered a punishment) or pull them out of gym, art, or music (frowned upon) there was just no time/opportunity during the school day for a private chat with a child. Their lunch periods are only 17 minutes long as well (in my school district) so no time there either.

Yes, there is time during a school day for private student chats. Seriously.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, there is time during a school day for private student chats. Seriously.

Seriously...no there is not.

 

[cbg]

Seriously - yes there is. And yes, I have taught elementary school.

 

[quincy]

Seriously...no there is not.

All of my kids have spoken privately with each of their teachers, sometimes before school, sometimes after school, sometimes between classes, sometimes in the hallways, sometimes in the classrooms ...

I can't believe you would think teachers do not have time to talk with their students.

 

[CdwJava]

Having taught in high school myself, and being the husband, son, nephew, and grandson to oodles of teachers, I can also say that these conversation can and do take place. Yes, a few minutes can be found in a day at all grade levels. A child might stay in from recess or be asked to remain in ... same with lunch ... even during a prep period. There are numerous opportunities unless the teacher intentionally makes him or herself unavailable.

My wife teaches in an elementary school and has some very intimate knowledge of what goes on in the homes of many of her students. Not because she prods, but, because it often comes up. Kids talk. And, if they like and trust the teacher, they might talk a lot. When/if the circumstances dictate a call to CPS or other authorities, that's when it happens.

Hopefully the OP will return with more details.

 

[Ohiogal]

Quincy,

When I said that there wasn't much opportunity to chat in private with students I wasn't speaking about closeness, I was speaking about time. Unless you were going to hold a child back from recess (considered a punishment) or pull them out of gym, art, or music (frowned upon) there was just no time/opportunity during the school day for a private chat with a child. Their lunch periods are only 17 minutes long as well (in my school district) so no time there either.

As someone who did substitute teach, yes there is. Furthermore as a GAL who goes to schools regularly, YES THERE IS. QUIT trying to be an authority when you are clueless. Please. You don't help yourself and only continue to make yourself look completely idiotic. YOU are better than this.

 

[Taxing Matters]

Quincy,

When I said that there wasn't much opportunity to chat in private with students I wasn't speaking about closeness, I was speaking about time. Unless you were going to hold a child back from recess (considered a punishment) or pull them out of gym, art, or music (frowned upon) there was just no time/opportunity during the school day for a private chat with a child. Their lunch periods are only 17 minutes long as well (in my school district) so no time there either.

Maybe in your particular school district things are scheduled so tight that it is literally not possible, but in that case your district would be the extreme. I have lived in a number of different places and participated in schools in a variety of school districts, and while some were much better than others to be sure, in all of them there was time to be had for a teacher to have a private chat with a student.

And just 17 minutes exactly for lunch? No school that I have seen allowed less than 35 minutes for lunch, and most were 45 minutes to an hour. Your district really expects kids to snarf down their food in just 17 minutes and then march off to the next lesson? All I can say is that from the sound of it I'd not want my kid in your district.

 

[quincy]

Maybe in your particular school district things are scheduled so tight that it is literally not possible, but in that case your district would be the extreme. I have lived in a number of different places and participated in schools in a variety of school districts, and while some were much better than others to be sure, in all of them there was time to be had for a teacher to have a private chat with a student.

And just 17 minutes exactly for lunch? No school that I have seen allowed less than 35 minutes for lunch, and most were 45 minutes to an hour. Your district really expects kids to snarf down their food in just 17 minutes and then march off to the next lesson? All I can say is that from the sound of it I'd not want my kid in your district.

Unfortunately, many of our school districts allow students only 15 minutes for lunch followed by 15 minutes of playground time. I know parents have objected - to no avail.

 

[Taxing Matters]

Unfortunately, many of our school districts allow students only 15 minutes for lunch followed by 15 minutes of playground time. I know parents have objected - to no avail.

That’s insane. I’m glad that schools around here haven’t taken cost cutting that far yet.

 

[ajkroy]

Maybe in your particular school district things are scheduled so tight that it is literally not possible, but in that case your district would be the extreme. I have lived in a number of different places and participated in schools in a variety of school districts, and while some were much better than others to be sure, in all of them there was time to be had for a teacher to have a private chat with a student.

And just 17 minutes exactly for lunch? No school that I have seen allowed less than 35 minutes for lunch, and most were 45 minutes to an hour. Your district really expects kids to snarf down their food in just 17 minutes and then march off to the next lesson? All I can say is that from the sound of it I'd not want my kid in your district.

The school where I work allows 22 minutes, and that includes the trek to and from the cafeteria, selecting food, going through the cashier, finding a table, eating, and clearing. I allow students to bring the remnants of their lunch into my classroom (as long as they clean up afterward) because I hate to think of them throwing wanted food away. For some, they will not eat again until we serve breakfast again in the morning.