Can harassment charges be filed?

[tuffbrk]

And if I read your Note correclty, it sounds as if your child was also exposed to this tantrum? Yikes!

Hint: In the future if your family is being followed - go to a police parking lot and blow your horn. Far more effective at getting rid of them than parking at an eating establishment.

 

[Neal1421]

And if I read your Note correclty, it sounds as if your child was also exposed to this tantrum? Yikes!

Hint: In the future if your family is being followed - go to a police parking lot and blow your horn. Far more effective at getting rid of them than parking at an eating establishment.

Yes, my 4 year old was in the car with us also. He was crying uncontrollably and didn't know what was going on. Neither did I really. That was why I was trying to get somewhere where I would be able to get out of the car and comfort him other than my house, thinking she wouldn't be crazy enough to try to do something in front of other people. I actually thought she was don't with her tantrum by this time because at the time it seemed like she had given up, in other words she had stopped throwing things at the car.

I am looking into locating a police department in our area however I have been in the courtroom with the same judge that they usually have when he was addressing another family's case and when one of the parents requested that the location be change to a public place such as a police dept. he said no. He said that it would be best for the child to be dropped off at a place that they feel is a comfort zone. That is why he is hesitant to ask for it. He has asked before that it be changed to his mother's house or even her mother's house, be she was against it so the judge sided with her.

Thanks for the responses. I will relay them to him.

 

[wileybunch]

Gee, what a nutjob. Sounds like a relative of my husband's ex.

I don't know that your husband needs to specify exactly WHERE the exchange needs to be so much as the CONDITIONS of the place for the exchange. He should explain first these ridiculous circumstances and then appeal to the court to help remedy this situation for his daughter.

As for your child witnessing this, you can stop that by not having your child around anything where the unstable ex is. I know it will throw a wrench in your plans, but you will start to feel like your life is revolving around her instability the more you are all involved in it and you will likely feel resentful that your 4yo is having to grow up under the cloud. I know I get resentful that my kids have been greatly impacted by the crud from my husband's ex and that's with already trying to shield them. Just having her contempt situations pulling the rug out from under plans we make and having the other kids be heartbroken is enough (and really too much when these parents persist in using their kids to hurt others).

Why do ppl get to keep custody of their kids when they act like this?
The judge should be OFFERING to switch who has primary custody when a parent shows that kind of instability.

 

[Neal1421]

Gee, what a nutjob. Sounds like a relative of my husband's ex.

I don't know that your husband needs to specify exactly WHERE the exchange needs to be so much as the CONDITIONS of the place for the exchange. He should explain first these ridiculous circumstances and then appeal to the court to help remedy this situation for his daughter.

As for your child witnessing this, you can stop that by not having your child around anything where the unstable ex is. I know it will throw a wrench in your plans, but you will start to feel like your life is revolving around her instability the more you are all involved in it and you will likely feel resentful that your 4yo is having to grow up under the cloud. I know I get resentful that my kids have been greatly impacted by the crud from my husband's ex and that's with already trying to shield them. Just having her contempt situations pulling the rug out from under plans we make and having the other kids be heartbroken is enough (and really too much when these parents persist in using their kids to hurt others).

Why do ppl get to keep custody of their kids when they act like this?
The judge should be OFFERING to switch who has primary custody when a parent shows that kind of instability.

Well, part of the problem with my fiance's situation is that he lives and works in a city 3.5 hours away from his children, the one he has with me and his daughter. He has tried to get the court to give him more time with his daughter, but the judge said that since he lives so far away, additional time would not be in the child's best interest. He knows that the only way to have a shot at more time or even custody of the child, he will have to move back here and with his job as well as financial obligations to his children, he is not able to do it right now.

The mother of his daughter and I live 2 minutes from each other so we are constantly running into each other so unless I let my life revolve around trying to avoid her, then there is nothing I can really do to shield my son from it. The sad thing is that my son and his sister love each other dearly and are innocent in all of this. I think they are the ones that are hurting the most.

Thanks for everyone's help. I will update you when the time comes.

 

[Neal1421]

Update

So, contempt charges have been filed and he has a court date for November 1st.

Now, onto another issue. The police report for what happened last week has been filed and the office we spoke to suggested that my fiance go before the judge with him and attempt to get an arrest warrant. He said that if the judge thought that there was reason enough to file one that he would issue it. Well, it was issued.

The police officers went to arrest her this past weekend and she went to jail. My fiance wanted what happened to be on file, but wasn't aware at the time that she could go to jail for it especially when all that he really had as evidence was my and his statements.

So, I am now left wondering what's to happen if she were to call the police and accuse us of something. Would they also issue an arrest for one of us? I ask, because this is now on her record. I do not plan on doing anything and wouldn't do anything to her anyway, but who or what's to stop her.

Is it common for someone to get an arrest warrant issued so easily?

Her court date is on November the 15th which is after the contempt hearing, would the judge be able to allow the incident to be mentioned since the case would still be pending at that time?

 

[Neal1421]

By the way, she was charged with Domestic Assault by Intimidation and Provocation

 

[Neal1421]

Sorry to be a pest but does anyone have any thoughts on this???

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry to be a pest but does anyone have any thoughts on this???

She is lucky she was not also charged with child endangerment for her actions. And many other things. It is likely that it will be allowed to be mentioned.

 

[CJane]

Now that those charges are pending, you AND dad should attempt to get restraining orders against mom. As part of the RO, have child exchanges take place in public - as a matter of safety. It really can't be denied when put in that context.

 

[Neal1421]

Update and question

Ok, so he went to court a couple of weeks ago on the contempt of court for missed phone calls and the judge suggested that he would just give him the extra 16 phone calls spread out over time and also stated that my fiance was nit picking with the phone calls. My fiance was insulted by the comment and didn't want to agree to that as it would just be yet another tap on the wrist for the child's mother so when the judge asked him what it was he was looking to get, he stated that he wanted his parenting plan approved since the mother has exhibited blatant disregard for the one that is currently in effect.

The judge told him to amend his petition and he would hear the arguements in January but he really doesn't see anything being done since it is obvious that the judge is not willing to do anything to the mother. She always gets away with it and my fiance ends up having to pay her lawyers fees as well as his so this time he said he would do it without the lawyers and not waste anymore money. I disagree but it is essentially his battle so I let it go.

Also, we have a January court date on the criminal charges but unfortunatelythat court date is after the contempt hearing.

Anyway, he now needs more advice in regards to what happened this weekend.

His court order reads that "In odd years, the father of the child is to have the child from Christmas Eve 9pm through December 31st." That is all that it states in regards to Christmas visitation. Well, this past weekend was also his regularly scheduled weekend and when he went to pick the child up, no one was home. He then called the child's grandmother after not being able to get in touch with the mother and the grandmother told him that the mother of the child read the court order as meaning that he was not supposed to get the child until 12/24 and that this was her time with the child.

He called the child's mother who would not answer the phone and left several messages stating that yes, he does get her 12/24 but he also gets her that weekend and returns her on Sunday as usual and then picks her back up the next day that way she gets to spend part of Christmas eve with them both.

She never called back. He called throughout the weekend to no avail, and then went to pick her up on 12/24 at 9. He was able to pick her up.

Now, my question is that since the lawyer said that he was being petty with the missed phone calls and has in the past said that it was just a misunderstanding on the mother's part with the court order although the contempt is blatantly obvious, do you all think he should file contempt for the missed weekend with the child?

The reason this past weekend was so important is because his grandmother passed the week before and we had the funeral that weekend and he wanted her to spend time with the family.

Any thoughts or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, so he went to court a couple of weeks ago on the contempt of court for missed phone calls and the judge suggested that he would just give him the extra 16 phone calls spread out over time and also stated that my fiance was nit picking with the phone calls. My fiance was insulted by the comment and didn't want to agree to that as it would just be yet another tap on the wrist for the child's mother so when the judge asked him what it was he was looking to get, he stated that he wanted his parenting plan approved since the mother has exhibited blatant disregard for the one that is currently in effect.

The judge told him to amend his petition and he would hear the arguements in January but he really doesn't see anything being done since it is obvious that the judge is not willing to do anything to the mother. She always gets away with it and my fiance ends up having to pay her lawyers fees as well as his so this time he said he would do it without the lawyers and not waste anymore money. I disagree but it is essentially his battle so I let it go.

Also, we have a January court date on the criminal charges but unfortunatelythat court date is after the contempt hearing.

Anyway, he now needs more advice in regards to what happened this weekend.

His court order reads that "In odd years, the father of the child is to have the child from Christmas Eve 9pm through December 31st." That is all that it states in regards to Christmas visitation. Well, this past weekend was also his regularly scheduled weekend and when he went to pick the child up, no one was home. He then called the child's grandmother after not being able to get in touch with the mother and the grandmother told him that the mother of the child read the court order as meaning that he was not supposed to get the child until 12/24 and that this was her time with the child.

He called the child's mother who would not answer the phone and left several messages stating that yes, he does get her 12/24 but he also gets her that weekend and returns her on Sunday as usual and then picks her back up the next day that way she gets to spend part of Christmas eve with them both.

She never called back. He called throughout the weekend to no avail, and then went to pick her up on 12/24 at 9. He was able to pick her up.

Now, my question is that since the lawyer said that he was being petty with the missed phone calls and has in the past said that it was just a misunderstanding on the mother's part with the court order although the contempt is blatantly obvious, do you all think he should file contempt for the missed weekend with the child?

The reason this past weekend was so important is because his grandmother passed the week before and we had the funeral that weekend and he wanted her to spend time with the family.

Any thoughts or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Normally, holiday visitation supercedes regular visitation. Therefore if his share of Christmas Break was 12/24 - 12/31, then the rest of Christmas Break is mom's. Or do you assume that mom isn't entitled to any share of Christmas Break?..or is entitled to less than dad?

I don't think that one is a battle worth fighting, in my opinion. I think that the only result you would end up with, is a modified holiday schedule that spelled out exactly what time was dad's and what time was mom's, and believe me, it would split the break in half....because that is very much the norm.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Ldij, we are talking the weekend BEFORE. Christmas Eve was Monday.

OP - was does the court order state exactly about holidays?

 

[Neal1421]

Normally, holiday visitation supercedes regular visitation. Therefore if his share of Christmas Break was 12/24 - 12/31, then the rest of Christmas Break is mom's. Or do you assume that mom isn't entitled to any share of Christmas Break?..or is entitled to less than dad?

I don't think that one is a battle worth fighting, in my opinion. I think that the only result you would end up with, is a modified holiday schedule that spelled out exactly what time was dad's and what time was mom's, and believe me, it would split the break in half....because that is very much the norm.

School starts back up on 1/7, which means that the mother of the child has from 12/31-1/7 as her time to spend with the child, or at least that is what he was thinking.

The court order that her lawyer drew up last time they went to court, only specified the holiday days. Say for instance if he has the child for Labor day, he has the child for just that Labor day and he doesn't get the weekend before. All of the holidays are like that because she wanted to make sure that he didn't get a credit for additional days.

The court order doesn't say that she was to have the child for that time before Christmas. It just stated that that was when he was to pick her up for the holidays and since that was his regular scheduled weekend, he thought he was entitiled to just that.

Just so that I understand, you think that he should just let it go? His only problem with that is that if he does, she will continue to do things like that because she knows that she can and she wont get in trouble with it. He just wants her to follow the court order which she has a problem doing.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

This instance COULD be brought up as an example of why a better parenting plan needs to be established with the court.

 

[wileybunch]

His court order reads that "In odd years, the father of the child is to have the child from Christmas Eve 9pm through December 31st." That is all that it states in regards to Christmas visitation.

That is it? It doesn't define the entire holiday period, just this one part of it and only for odd-numbered years? Make sure that the CO doesn't have more language than this b/c this means next year he wouldn't have her at all for holiday period time, only his normal weekend time (so long as it doesn't interfere with the above dates/times that are implied to be Mom's on even-numbered years).