Can harassment charges be filed?

[Neal1421]

That is it? It doesn't define the entire holiday period, just this one part of it and only for odd-numbered years? Make sure that the CO doesn't have more language than this b/c this means next year he wouldn't have her at all for holiday period time, only his normal weekend time (so long as it doesn't interfere with the above dates/times that are implied to be Mom's on even-numbered years).

I just quoted what was read to me in regards to this year. I will see what it says in regards to next year and post back. I do recall that he does have about a week with her during that time, but I do not recall the exact verbage, that is why I didn't want to post the remainder of it.

 

[LdiJ]

School starts back up on 1/7, which means that the mother of the child has from 12/31-1/7 as her time to spend with the child, or at least that is what he was thinking.

The court order that her lawyer drew up last time they went to court, only specified the holiday days. Say for instance if he has the child for Labor day, he has the child for just that Labor day and he doesn't get the weekend before. All of the holidays are like that because she wanted to make sure that he didn't get a credit for additional days.

The court order doesn't say that she was to have the child for that time before Christmas. It just stated that that was when he was to pick her up for the holidays and since that was his regular scheduled weekend, he thought he was entitiled to just that.

Just so that I understand, you think that he should just let it go? His only problem with that is that if he does, she will continue to do things like that because she knows that she can and she wont get in trouble with it. He just wants her to follow the court order which she has a problem doing.

What I was saying is that normally Christmas Break is defined as the day that school lets out, until the day that school is back in session. It is also normally divided in half. It also supercedes regular visitation. Therefore, in most cases I would not have viewed that as a "regular" weekend, I would have viewed it as part of Christmas Break.

There can be exceptions to that, but since dad is assigned a specific week of Christmas Break, which also includes a weekend I don't think that a judge would hold mom in contempt for that. I think that the judge would just clarify the division of Christmas Break.

 

[stealth2]

I have to agree with LDi on this one.

 

[wileybunch]

I just quoted what was read to me in regards to this year. I will see what it says in regards to next year and post back. I do recall that he does have about a week with her during that time, but I do not recall the exact verbage, that is why I didn't want to post the remainder of it.

Yeah, you need to find all the language regarding this holiday period time. It's possible only Dad's period is defined each year and that is all, Mom gets all other time except for Dad's weekend visitation or there may be language in the even-numbered year or other language for holiday periods that will give the full picture since the language posted is apparently not complete.

 

[Neal1421]

Ok...

Sorry it took so long to get back with you guys.

In regards to even years the court order states that "The father of the child shall have the child from 6pm December 17th until 9pm December 24." That's all it says, seriously. This has to have been one of most poorly written visitation orders I have ever seen. It only refers to the visitation as holiday visitation also not Christmas break.

He is hoping that the judge agrees to accept his visitation agreements as it is more specific, but he doesn't know what to expect with this judge.

There have also been new developments though within the past week. When the child was dropped off at her mother's house New Year's Day, my fiance's dad had to drop her off as he had to head back home 3 hours away and he had to work the next day.

Well, when he dropped her off he informed her mother that the child had misplaced her gameboy or whatever you call those things, and that they would look for it and if they couldn't find it by the end of the week, they would replace it. She then, snatched the child into the house and slammed the door.

Twenty minutes later she called my fiance's mother demanding that she return the game that night and proceeded to curse and harass his mother so she hung up the phone. Not too long after that, she showed up with the child in tow, keep in mind it was below 30 degrees outside. Anyway she shows up demanding to come inside and search the house for the game. His mother told her no and that she would look for it and return it when she found it. This wasn't enough for her, she told her if she didn't let her in she would call the police and tell them that they were trying to steal the game from the child. His mother said to go ahead and call them because she wasn't letting her into the house.

The police show and the situation was explained. They then told the child's mother that children misplace things all the time and that they were under no obligation to allow her into the house. He told her that if the game wasn't returned in a timely manner or if she wasn't reimbursed, she could go to civil court. They then told her to leave the property as she was now tresspassing.

The police told the child to get into her mother's car, but she wouldn't. She screamed and yelled that she didn't want to go home and that she was scared of what her mom would do to her. She begged the police officer, literally clinging to his leg not to go home with her so her grandmother was called to pick her up.

The game was found the next day inside of the couch.

Anyway, after all of that, he went to pick her up this weekend for his visitation and she again told him that it was not his weekend since he had her the weekend before. The last time they were in court, the judge explained that there would be times when he would have her for 3 weekends in a row but she just doesn't get it.

Now, sorry for the novel but do you think he should file contempt of court for this past weekend? He is afraid that the judge is just going to give him a make up weekend which he would love but if he does get that, he has to come back up another weekend. Driving 150 miles both ways and spending a great deal on gas. He drove up this past weekend spending money on gas so he feels like yes, he gets the time, but he is being punished financially and she's not being punished at all.

What should he do?

 

[LdiJ]

In my opinion, rather than filing for contempt, he should just file to change the parenting plan to make holidays more specific, particularly defining Christmas Break and how it impacts regular weekends.

He expected to have the weekend of the 21st. He got the weekend of the 28th because it was part of his Christmas holiday, he expected to have this past weekend. That would have given him every single one of the weekends connected with Christmas Break. That would not have been fair and is not how Christmas break schedules normally work.

I am assuming that mom now expects him to have next weekend? Although that does throw off their normal rotation, he should probably take it and just let the rotation go from there.

However, if she denies next weekend, then she is definitely playing games. He should take her to court for contempt at that point. She can't be confused about whose weekend is whose if she denies two in a row.

Now, having said that, I want to say that I am disappointed in ALL of the adults in this situation regarding the gameboy. Dad, Mom AND Grandma. Gameboys are expensive and not easily replaced. Dad should have found the danged thing before taking the child home. It was laziness and disrespect on his part not to take that seriously. Mom shouldn't have reacted so strongly however, and shouldn't have gone over to Grandmas. Grandma on the other hand should have simply let her in and helped her look for it, instead of allowing the situation to be turned into so much drama.

The child of course was afraid of being punished for not keeping track of her gameboy. I can just about guess that mom didn't want her to take the gameboy with her in the first place and the child begged and pleaded and mom gave in, and then it got lost.

 

[Neal1421]

In my opinion, rather than filing for contempt, he should just file to change the parenting plan to make holidays more specific, particularly defining Christmas Break and how it impacts regular weekends.

He expected to have the weekend of the 21st. He got the weekend of the 28th because it was part of his Christmas holiday, he expected to have this past weekend. That would have given him every single one of the weekends connected with Christmas Break. That would not have been fair and is not how Christmas break schedules normally work.

I am assuming that mom now expects him to have next weekend? Although that does throw off their normal rotation, he should probably take it and just let the rotation go from there.

However, if she denies next weekend, then she is definitely playing games. He should take her to court for contempt at that point. She can't be confused about whose weekend is whose if she denies two in a row.

Now, having said that, I want to say that I am disappointed in ALL of the adults in this situation regarding the gameboy. Dad, Mom AND Grandma. Gameboys are expensive and not easily replaced. Dad should have found the danged thing before taking the child home. It was laziness and disrespect on his part not to take that seriously. Mom shouldn't have reacted so strongly however, and shouldn't have gone over to Grandmas. Grandma on the other hand should have simply let her in and helped her look for it, instead of allowing the situation to be turned into so much drama.

The child of course was afraid of being punished for not keeping track of her gameboy. I can just about guess that mom didn't want her to take the gameboy with her in the first place and the child begged and pleaded and mom gave in, and then it got lost.

Here's the thing though, when the child was picked up he told her not to let her bring it. That was all that she sent the child outside with was the game. He told her to take the game back into the house but the mother had locked the door and wouldn't answer the phone.

They did try to find the game before taking her back but she couldn't remember where she put it. They looked through the house but didn't see it as it wasn't just under the pillow of the couch, it had actually fallen inside the making of the couch. It was getting close to the time that she was to be home and given the mother's past actions with calling the police and accusing him of kidnapping when the child was more than 5 minutes late, they thought it would be best to just return the child home.

They go to court for a hearing on whether or not to accept his parenting plan on the 17th so he is looking to discuss all of this then, he just wanted on record what had happened.

 

[Neal1421]

I would also like to add that the Grandmother did not feel comfortable letting her into the house as the woman already has domestic abuse charges pending, not with the Grandmother but since the woman is so unstable, she thought it would be best not to let her in.

She thought if she had to let them in, she would rather have a police officer there. If they said that she had to, she would have.

 

[LdiJ]

I would also like to add that the Grandmother did not feel comfortable letting her into the house as the woman already has domestic abuse charges pending, not with the Grandmother but since the woman is so unstable, she thought it would be best not to let her in.

She thought if she had to let them in, she would rather have a police officer there. If they said that she had to, she would have.

Once the police were there, it would have been perfectly safe for grandma to allow mom to look for the gameboy.

Look, I understand the situation, but the whole thing was ridiculous, and not just on mom's part. Dad was smart enough to know that the gameboy was a potential problem and to not want her to bring it in the first place, but wasn't smart enough to keep track of it since it had to come with? I would have put the darned thing in my glovebox and left it there until the child went back to mom's.

 

[Neal1421]

Once the police were there, it would have been perfectly safe for grandma to allow mom to look for the gameboy.

Look, I understand the situation, but the whole thing was ridiculous, and not just on mom's part. Dad was smart enough to know that the gameboy was a potential problem and to not want her to bring it in the first place, but wasn't smart enough to keep track of it since it had to come with? I would have put the darned thing in my glovebox and left it there until the child went back to mom's.

I understand where you are coming from, however I have to respectfully disagree with you. If the child cannot remember where she put the game, whether or not it was at her grandmother's house or her aunt's house (she really wasn't sure) do you really think the mother could have come in and found it.

If you were in the situation, you would have let her into your house searching through your belongings for something that you told them that you would look for and if it wasn't found by the end of the week you would pay for it? If you say yes, how long would you have allowed her to look for it. Would you allow her to look through your entire house? That's crazy! I wouldn't. I don't think she would have thought to turn couch upside down and search it until the game appeared. That is an invasion of privacy. She told her she would look for it and if she didn't find it in 3 days she would give her the money. I don't see that as being unreasonable.

The father of the child was not there at the time. He tried to drop her off before he left to go home, however the mother wouldn't answer her phone or her door so he had to leave the child at the grandmother's house and get on the road. At the time that he left, she had the game.

I agree with you on the visitation issue though.