Can homework be factored into ...

[CJane]

I disagree. While he's not REQUIRED to tell mom, it is probably best for everyone if he does. She'll find out whether he tells her or not. It's better for him to be straight forward with mom and tell her that he will be stopping by the daycare every day to check the child's homework. Otherwise, the child ends up in the middle. A 7 year old will more then likely tell mom, "I saw daddy today" when mom comes to pick her up.

And, it's best not to put the other parent on the defensive more often than is necessary. If dad isn't up front, I can see mom posting here wanting to know what she can do to keep dad from stopping by daycare on HER days... yanno?

Dad - be honest with mom.

 

[ceara19]

I can see mom posting here wanting to know what she can do to keep dad from stopping by daycare on HER days... yanno?

That seems to be happening quite a bit lately.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I am going to tell her what I will be doing via email so that there is no misunderstanding(we’ve had the problem of “miscommunication” in the past with verbal agreements, although she insists that we communicate that way and refuses to answer my emails). She already knows how I feel about my daughters education, and the quality of her homework, so although she will be surprised, she really shouldn’t be.

 

[BadDecision]

I disagree. While he's not REQUIRED to tell mom, it is probably best for everyone if he does. She'll find out whether he tells her or not. It's better for him to be straight forward with mom and tell her that he will be stopping by the daycare every day to check the child's homework. Otherwise, the child ends up in the middle. A 7 year old will more then likely tell mom, "I saw daddy today" when mom comes to pick her up.

I may not have been clear, but that was what I was saying. It isn't required, however tell mom.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Update

Ok, I got a response to my email about stopping by daycare to check out my daughters homework. How's this grab you?

"I have already explained my position on her homework numerous times. The email I sent you on 10/30/06 explains my position. I do not want you to help her w/ her homework at daycare. I am not going to go into a topic that I have already explained in detail. Refer back to the email if you do not recall my views on the subject. I feel like you are undermining what I am trying to accomplish w/ her in this area."

....Her .... position is that my daughter "will be gaining both independence and confidence in herself by doing it on her own, to an extent. Again, all homework is checked by me when we get home. When I do find mistakes I sit down with ****** to explain and correct them. She is going into third grade next year and that is when the teacher stops “handholding” her, so to speak. She will then be responsible for keeping track of her own assignments in school. She is currently also being prepped for this change in school by her teacher."

My point is that if she is not getting the help she needs at daycare, we as parents should be doing whatever we can to provide it ourselves.

New question: Can ....she .... stop me from going to the daycare, as long as I am not interfering with her custody or time with her?

 

[CJane]

"will be gaining both independence and confidence in herself by doing it on her own, to an extent. Again, all homework is checked by me when we get home. When I do find mistakes I sit down with ****** to explain and correct them. She is going into third grade next year and that is when the teacher stops “handholding” her, so to speak. She will then be responsible for keeping track of her own assignments in school. She is currently also being prepped for this change in school by her teacher."

My point is that if she is not getting the help she needs at daycare, we as parents should be doing whatever we can to provide it ourselves.

See, what mom is saying sounds pretty reasonable to me. My kids are expected to complete any homework on their own (they're in 1st and 4th grades) and then I check it over IF I have time. I don't sit down with them while they're working on it, and I only help when they ask for assistance - and only then to further explain a concept, not to actually assist in completing the problem (most of their homework is math).

What sort of 'assistance' are you thinking you'll offer the child?

No, mom can't really stop you - but do you WANT to cause possible conflict at the daycare if she tries?

 

[jbowman]

The way I understood this thread earlier is that mom just had no interest in the child's education. After reading part of her email, I tend to agree with her. It is wonderful that you'd like to be involved but letting her learn by making her own mistakes teaches her more than walking her through everything.

I used to be the same regarding homework. I would check my child's homework and make him fix all errors. But then he always went to school with Perfect work. He needed to get things wrong to LEARN from those errors--learn to recognize them and come up with solutions on his own.

 

[fairisfair]

make that three of us.

It is your child's homework, not yours. And there is nothing wrong with helping her on those days that she is in your care, there is equally nothing wrong with allowing her to make mistakes and to learn from those errors. That is the best way to learn, having you do her homework for her (and that is pratically what you are doing) isn't teaching her anything.

Let it go.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

The one thing that I am not doing is doing her homework for her. I absolutely agree that the only real way that she will learn is by doing the work herself.

The way it was suggested to me by her teacher about that the best way to handle homework was to sit with her while she did the first couple of problems or questions and verify that she has understands what it is that she should be doing, and then let her work independently. But when I see things like 45+45=18, supposedly completed under the “supervision” of a daycare worker, I have to wonder what’s happening.

 

[jbowman]

But when I see things like 45+45=18, supposedly completed under the “supervision” of a daycare worker, I have to wonder what’s happening.

I think you should start wondering what is happening AT SCHOOL with her teacher. Daycare is not responsible for "teaching" your child--but her TEACHER at school is.

 

[CJane]

But when I see things like 45+45=18, supposedly completed under the “supervision” of a daycare worker, I have to wonder what’s happening.

I'm sure that 'supervision' as far as the daycare is concerned, is making sure she's got a book open and a pencil in her hand. They're not paid tutors.

But, since apparently today is CJane shares personal stories day... lemme share one.

My youngest daughter is almost 7, and in first grade. She tests out at a 3rd grade level in reading/comprehension. I get papers that she completes in class that say things like "We eight makrone four lunch." Or I get math papers with things like 4+10=410. And ya know what? It's not because she's not getting it, and it's not because she's receiving inadequate 'supervision' in the classroom. If you ask HER what she was thinking, she'll say "I just wanted to spice it up a bit." You can't supervise that out of them. The only thing that's going to get THAT out of her system is her.

Are you sure the kid isn't just bored?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I think you should start wondering what is happening AT SCHOOL with her teacher. Daycare is not responsible for "teaching" your child--but her TEACHER at school is.

I've already spoken with her teacher, and agree that daycare isn't responsible for teaching my daughter. They also shouldn't be responsible for "helping" her with homework either, but ....she .... disagrees.

 

[fairisfair]

The one thing that I am not doing is doing her homework for her. I absolutely agree that the only real way that she will learn is by doing the work herself.

The way it was suggested to me by her teacher about that the best way to handle homework was to sit with her while she did the first couple of problems or questions and verify that she has understands what it is that she should be doing, and then let her work independently. But when I see things like 45+45=18, supposedly completed under the “supervision” of a daycare worker, I have to wonder what’s happening.

By the way, 4+5+4+5 does equal 18. So her thinking isn't that far off.

so you and mom disagree? bet it isn't the first time huh??

I would leave it alone on her time. I really would.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I'm sure that 'supervision' as far as the daycare is concerned, is making sure she's got a book open and a pencil in her hand. They're not paid tutors.

....She .... doesn't agree with that, and has even gone so far as to call them teachers.

My youngest daughter is almost 7, and in first grade. She tests out at a 3rd grade level in reading/comprehension. I get papers that she completes in class that say things like "We eight makrone four lunch." Or I get math papers with things like 4+10=410. And ya know what? It's not because she's not getting it, and it's not because she's receiving inadequate 'supervision' in the classroom. If you ask HER what she was thinking, she'll say "I just wanted to spice it up a bit." You can't supervise that out of them. The only thing that's going to get THAT out of her system is her.

Are you sure the kid isn't just bored?

Quite possilby. I was an ADD kid myself, and boredom was a large factor.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

By the way, 4+5+4+5 does equal 18. So her thinking isn't that far off.

That was exactly my daughters line of reasoning .