Can homework be factored into ...

[CJane]

....She .... doesn't agree with that, and has even gone so far as to call them teachers.

Ummm... they very well could be. All of the employees at the daycare that my girls attend are state certified teachers.

Quite possilby. I was an ADD kid myself, and boredom was a large factor.

Ugh, please don't go there.

Look, I said it before in this thread... this is a difference in parenting styles - and mom has custody of the child most of the time. That means that mom is going to have a larger influence on the child than you do - it's just a given. A judge could VERY likely see you showing up at daycare every day to 'help with homework' as you being a caring and involved father - and a judge could JUST as easily see it as you undermining mom's parenting.

You need to decide if it's a hill worth dying on. Does the child get good grades/reports from teachers over-all?

 

[fairisfair]

That was exactly my daughters line of reasoning .

see, she is a wizard!! LOL

she is just overthinking. she is very bright, it is just as difficult to add up four separate digits like that as it is to do what the teacher really wanted. She will figure it out.

Wait til 4th grade, you probably won't be ABLE to help her.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

You need to decide if it's a hill worth dying on. Does the child get good grades/reports from teachers over-all?

She gets "satisfactory" grades, usually with comments from the teacher that if she applied herself a little more, she would be easily getting "outstanding" grades.

As for the daycare workers being teachers, I certainly hope not, based on the quality of the "assistance" provided.

 

[fairisfair]

She gets "satisfactory" grades, usually with comments from the teacher that if she applied herself a little more, she would be easily getting "outstanding" grades.

As for the daycare workers being teachers, I certainly hope not, based on the quality of the "assistance" provided.

and when and if she decides to apply herself a little more, she will get outstanding grades.

 

[CJane]

She gets "satisfactory" grades, usually with comments from the teacher that if she applied herself a little more, she would be easily getting "outstanding" grades.

Ahhh, now I remember that was on page 1, wasn't it?

I think you need to let it go. When she's getting letter grades, you might need to readdress the issue. But my 4th grader gets As and Bs - and every report card since Kindergarten has said "If Wild would apply herself, her grades would improve." Fact is, she's happy with As and Bs and that A+ just isn't enough of a goal for her to put in any more effort than she HAS to. The one time she brought home a C, we had a LONG discussion about applying herself and it not being ok to be average, and she fixed the grade.

You can't MAKE the child apply herself. And putting all kinds of pressure on her now (whether you see it as pressure or not) isn't going to help. It really isn't.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Ok, since I am sure that you are all getting sick of this subject, this will be my final update on this.

After careful consideration(including of some of the advice received here), I did repliy to ….her …. stating that I would respect her wishes with regards to my going there to help(why ….she …. wouldn’t approve of it if her concern really is about my daughters best interest is beyond me, but I digress). I also restated my position that we should be concerned.

....She .... did call me yesterday and say that she believes that the only reason I want to help with my daughters homework is so that I can be “underhanded” and try to alter custody based on it.

Thanks folks.

 

[jbowman]

I salute you for deciding to "pick your battles". Help your daughter as much as you can on your time with her.

As for her crappy phone call--I find it pretty funny that she didnt put that in an email. But at least you have your concerns recorded.

 

[fairisfair]

I salute you for deciding to "pick your battles". Help your daughter as much as you can on your time with her.

As for her crappy phone call--I find it pretty funny that she didnt put that in an email. But at least you have your concerns recorded.

Well, OF COURSE she called, no need to have that on paper.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Yeah, ....she .... has a tendency to call, even though I have stated, time and again via email, that it would be best to communicate in writing “so that there are no misunderstandings about what was, or was not, said during a telephone conversation”(can you tell I’ve written that more than once?), or some variation thereof. She usually responds to that by emailing back that I should just call her if I have an “issue, concern, or request”, and that she will not “participate” in emails.

I figure that that should do wonders for her in court .

 

[CJane]

She usually responds to that by emailing back that I should just call her if I have an “issue, concern, or request”, and that she will not “participate” in emails.

I figure that that should do wonders for her in court .

Ummm... quick question - are you emailing her at a home/personal address or a work related address?

 

[qurice]

I know how conversations can be over the phone. I say one thing, she interprets it differently or vice versa and argument ensues. I once told her that for the benefit of both of us, we should start recording our phone calls so there won't be any misunderstandings.

You can bet that things have been very civil after I made that suggestion.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

It is her work email, which she has access to on her off hours through a Blackberry, because ….she …. has refused to give me any other email address. I’d be happy to use another one if she would provide it, and I have told her so.

It’s illegal in MD to record a telephone conversation without the recorded consent of both parties. That’s not going to happen.

 

[CJane]

It is her work email, which she has access to on her off hours through a Blackberry, because ….she …. has refused to give me any other email address. I’d be happy to use another one if she would provide it, and I have told her so..

This is why I ask... my ex only has a work email (neither of us have internet access in our homes, actually) and at our last court appearance, we were both expressly forbidden to email the other @ a work address.

In fact, it was told to both of us that if one party had requested the other not send email to a work address, that continuing to do-so can be considered harrassment.

Tread carefully.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

This is why I ask... my ex only has a work email (neither of us have internet access in our homes, actually) and at our last court appearance, we were both expressly forbidden to email the other @ a work address.

In fact, it was told to both of us that if one party had requested the other not send email to a work address, that continuing to do-so can be considered harrassment.

Tread carefully.

She .... has not once requested that I stop sending them, only stated that she would not respond. I have tapered off on our email correspondence anyway.

If ....she .... were to request it, I would stop. Of course we would then have no line of communication, as I will not talk to her on the phone except in the case of emergency.

 

[CJane]

She has not once requested that I stop sending them, only stated that she would not respond.

All I'm saying is to be careful. And, expect the judge to order no email communication if she asks for it.

Edited due to your edit - STOP IT! LOL

I know the position that you're in. Stupidhead and I share the kids 60/40. They're with each of us a couple of days every week. I haven't spoken to him in... probably 4 weeks. I don't anticipate speaking to him any time in the near future either.

All communication takes place via CRR letters - and that hasn't happened since August.

Prior to him getting remarried, we spoke every evening. So yeah, it's weird. But no communication isn't necessarily bad.