Can my host family take my phone away all the time?

[giulia_de]

Hi, I am an exchange student from Germany. And on the question I asked the first time ( I know it wasn’t a question that makes sense to be on this forum) you can see that I have some problems with my host family. So it’s getting even worse and I still want to leave them ( that will probably happen soon because my organization is more cooperative than before) but it still takes some time till I can. So now my host parents are pretty mad about me wanting to leave and they behave like to little children. They take my phone every time I come home from school and I can only have it back the next day when I go to school.
So my question: can they do that?
I know host families can reduce the students time on the phone but can they just take it away from me. I mean that is my property, I paid for that phone. I told my organization about that and I had the feeling they selves aren’t even sure if they can do that.
I hope this is a question that is fine on this forum because as I said it’s my property!
I hope you can help me.

 

[Zigner]

How old are you?
What US state is this occurring in?

 

[xylene]

Leave the phone in your locker / the bushes or something.

 

[giulia_de]

How old are you?
What US state is this occurring in?

I’m 16 and live in Kansas

 

[xylene]

Mail it back to your home.

 

[giulia_de]

Leave the phone in your locker / the bushes or something.

I would but the bu

Mail it back to your home.

I need my phone the only possibility to talk to my organization about all this mess

 

[giulia_de]

I would but the bu

I need my phone the only possibility to talk to my organization about all this mess

but the bus ride takes over 1 and a half hours and I usually usethat time to text my family and friends

 

[xylene]

Basically... Your hosts are actimg as your parents, so legally they can insost you give them the phone, but there is virtually nothing they can do to stop you from the actions I mentioned.

If they are taking the phone to control exploit or otherwise not reach your program or family, or trafficking you... that's different. If you are being harmed, call police and or tell people in charge at school.

 

[giulia_de]

Basically... Your hosts are actimg as your parents, so legally they can insost you give them the phone, but there is virtually nothing they can do to stop you from the actions I mentioned.

If they are taking the phone to control exploit or otherwise not reach your program or family, or trafficking you... that's different. If you are being harmed, call police and or tell people in charge at school.

Okay so because I have the possibility to talk to my organization or family at school (even though I miss class for that) , I can’t stop them to take my phone? Is that what you are saying, just making sure I understand right

 

[xylene]

Okay so because I have the possibility to talk to my organization or family at school (even though I miss class for that) , I can’t stop them to take my phone? Is that what you are saying, just making sure I understand right

Are you in danger? If yes, get help

Tell them you would prefer to hang on to the phone as you need to work with the organization. If they flip out crazy, then you are in danger. stick it in your crotch or intimately on your person.

Do you know the numbers to your consulate? Look it up.

Bluntly: is this a teen conflict, or are you in danger?

There are always sides. You signed to up experience a different family. You are a competent near adult, entrusted to live in another country. Your emotional maturity must be high. Some parents have rules on phones. But this should be a positive experience. Assert your side. Cultures are different.

IF You take anything away from this, this conflict, another school and family, America, the lesson is Assert Yourself.


Assert Yourself

 

[giulia_de]

Are you in danger? If yes, get help

Tell them you would prefer to hang on to the phone as you need to work with the organization. If they flip out crazy, then you are in danger. stick it in your crotch or intimately on your person.

Do you know the numbers to your consulate? Look it up.

Bluntly: is this a teen conflict, or are you in danger?

There are always sides. You signed to up experience a different family. You are a competent near adult, entrusted to live in another country. Your emotional maturity must be high. Some parents have rules on phones. But this should be a positive experience. Assert your side. Cultures are different.

IF You take anything away from this, this conflict, another school and family, America, the lesson is Assert Yourself.


Assert Yourself

I‘m not getting physically hurt. Mentally yes, but that’s not important I experienced that with my organization who doesn’t care. Anyway it’s not like this is a family thing cause they daughters are on their phone 24/7. But yeah, guess I will hide it. Anyway thank you for your help!

 

[HRZ]

Quite frankly a person in loco parentis may well have right to lock up the phone until your exchange visit is up ...suck it up!

 

[adjusterjack]

Understand that, in the US, you are a minor with very little right to own property.

Your hosts' behavior is rather extreme so I'm wondering if there is something about the family dynamics that you aren't telling.

 

[giulia_de]

Understand that, in the US, you are a minor with very little right to own property.

Your hosts' behavior is rather extreme so I'm wondering if there is something about the family dynamics that you aren't telling.

It’s a long story. My host mums grandpa died, she stays from Friday to Monday in Oklahoma at her grandmas, I feel really bad in this situation and it makes me really sick because I had something like that with my own family. And that also makes me more homesick. I told my host parents about that and everything was fine. After a few days we had a talk with my local coordinator and my host mom was acting as if she didn’t understand me anymore. And I asked her why and she said that she had time to think and that I’m just making something up to leave. Which I don’t. They they were talking about me not doing much with them on the weekends ( that mostly consist working cattle) but I feel uncomfortable around them so how could I? And they want me to change my behavior or this wouldn’t work out. Then I told them that there is no solution and that I still want to change families. They are mean because they can’t accept that.

 

[giulia_de]

Understand that, in the US, you are a minor with very little right to own property.

Your hosts' behavior is rather extreme so I'm wondering if there is something about the family dynamics that you aren't telling.

I just thought of something, I don’t know if it makes sense but my phone is actually my parents property, I just have it with me, does that change anything?
And I know it sounds like I‘m a teenager that only thinks about phones but the think is we live in the middle of nowhere, I’m not allowed to drive, my friends live two towns away, my host parents don’t work so I don’t get away from them, and my phone is kind off the only thing that distracts me not to think about where I am and with who.