Car Title Trouble

[NeilTheCop]

If you can convince the judge that your soon to be ex was the driver then they will probably send a summons to him with a date to appear at the court. If you still have the keys to YOUR car, go to the court on that day and pick up the car.

 

[Evertri]

If you can convince the judge that your soon to be ex was the driver then they will probably send a summons to him with a date to appear at the court. If you still have the keys to YOUR car, go to the court on that day and pick up the car.

I went to work today and got copies of my work schedule and I had my supervisor write a letter verifying my work hours so that I can take all of that as proof that I was not driving the car for red light tickets. I wish I had the keys, but unfortunately, he is in possesion of the only set.

To make matters worse he came to my job today and was waiting for me in the parking lot. Apparently he went to take the car for a vehicle emission test and it failed, but because the car is in my name he said I need to go and request a 3-month extension or something. I was scared, angry and nervous, how dare he ask me to do a "favor" for him, thankfully there was security in the parking booth so I gathered up some nerve and I said "no"! I told him that if he would just do the title transfer he wouldn't not even have to deal with me anymore. God he was furious, he called me a bunch of colorful names,a few threats and got really close to face spitting etc.this is his usual ranting tantrum type of behavior. The security officer didn't intervene, but I noticed he was keeping a close eye and that made me feel a little safer. However, through all of his ranting and tantrum making he told me that if I filed a divorce he would never sign the papers and that caught my attention and made my heart drop into my stomach. At that point I knew better than to further engage him in conversation it would only make him angrier.

I need this divorce, I'm done I cannot take this anymore my children can't keep seeing their mother go through this anymore. The thought of him not signing the papers is devastating. After his tantrum he jumped in the car and sped off. I just walked through the parking lot sat on one of the benches located by the entrance of my job and cried my eyes out. So now I have to worry about a car that's in my name that he is deliberately getting red-light tickets on and I now also have to worry about him not being cooperative with a divorce. It's not like we have major assets together, or any property, our children are 18 and 19 so just assumed it would be a fairly simple divorce process, he signs and I sign and boom it's over how naive could I be smh. I have been miserable and scared of him for so many years and for the first time I have mustered up enough strength to break free and I admit I am still so scared, but I have to get out of this marriage. I apologize for the long post, I had to vent.

 

[stealth2]

but because the car is in my name he said I need to go and request a 3-month extension or something. I was scared, angry and nervous, how dare he ask me to do a "favor" for him, thankfully there was security in the parking booth so I gathered up some nerve and I said "no"! I told him that if he would just do the title transfer he wouldn't not even have to deal with me anymore. God

Or.... you could've said "Sure - let's go to Motor Vehicle right now and take care of that for you!" And once at MV, tell them that you would like to transfer the title.

 

[Zigner]

I went to work today and got copies of my work schedule and I had my supervisor write a letter verifying my work hours so that I can take all of that as proof that I was not driving the car for red light tickets. I wish I had the keys, but unfortunately, he is in possesion of the only set.

That letter probably won't be accepted and the copies of the work schedule also are problematic.

 

[LdiJ]

I went to work today and got copies of my work schedule and I had my supervisor write a letter verifying my work hours so that I can take all of that as proof that I was not driving the car for red light tickets. I wish I had the keys, but unfortunately, he is in possesion of the only set.

To make matters worse he came to my job today and was waiting for me in the parking lot. Apparently he went to take the car for a vehicle emission test and it failed, but because the car is in my name he said I need to go and request a 3-month extension or something. I was scared, angry and nervous, how dare he ask me to do a "favor" for him, thankfully there was security in the parking booth so I gathered up some nerve and I said "no"! I told him that if he would just do the title transfer he wouldn't not even have to deal with me anymore. God he was furious, he called me a bunch of colorful names,a few threats and got really close to face spitting etc.this is his usual ranting tantrum type of behavior. The security officer didn't intervene, but I noticed he was keeping a close eye and that made me feel a little safer. However, through all of his ranting and tantrum making he told me that if I filed a divorce he would never sign the papers and that caught my attention and made my heart drop into my stomach. At that point I knew better than to further engage him in conversation it would only make him angrier.

I need this divorce, I'm done I cannot take this anymore my children can't keep seeing their mother go through this anymore. The thought of him not signing the papers is devastating. After his tantrum he jumped in the car and sped off. I just walked through the parking lot sat on one of the benches located by the entrance of my job and cried my eyes out. So now I have to worry about a car that's in my name that he is deliberately getting red-light tickets on and I now also have to worry about him not being cooperative with a divorce. It's not like we have major assets together, or any property, our children are 18 and 19 so just assumed it would be a fairly simple divorce process, he signs and I sign and boom it's over how naive could I be smh. I have been miserable and scared of him for so many years and for the first time I have mustered up enough strength to break free and I admit I am still so scared, but I have to get out of this marriage. I apologize for the long post, I had to vent.

You DO NOT need his signature to get a divorce. It takes a little longer to get a divorce without his signature, but you absolutely do not need his signature.

 

[LdiJ]

That letter probably won't be accepted and the copies of the work schedule also are problematic.

I know that I am in a different state but I used copies of my work schedule and a letter from work to prove that I couldn't have been driving a specific car at the time that a ticket was written. My daughter was driving the car and the officer just copied the information off of the registration instead of her license, so the ticket came in my name.

 

[Zigner]

I know that I am in a different state but I used copies of my work schedule and a letter from work to prove that I couldn't have been driving a specific car at the time that a ticket was written. My daughter was driving the car and the officer just copied the information off of the registration instead of her license, so the ticket came in my name.

Congratulations.

 

[Evertri]

Or.... you could've said "Sure - let's go to Motor Vehicle right now and take care of that for you!" And once at MV, tell them that you would like to transfer the title.

That option would be great if I was working with someone that was civilized. Unfortunately, he is not and he would not have agreed to sign the back of the title for the transfer just because I agreed to go to the DMV. Also, I'm sure the DMV would not have been able to force him to sign it, but I wish they could. All it would have done is cause an unnecessary scene that would have escalated into something worse.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

All it would have done is cause an unnecessary scene that would have escalated into something worse.

And that something worse may have gotten him arrested and give you good cause to get a restraining order.

 

[stealth2]

That option would be great if I was working with someone that was civilized. Unfortunately, he is not and he would not have agreed to sign the back of the title for the transfer just because I agreed to go to the DMV. Also, I'm sure the DMV would not have been able to force him to sign it, but I wish they could. All it would have done is cause an unnecessary scene that would have escalated into something worse.

Well, one of two things would happen.

1. He would not want to cause a scene and signed the necessary paperwork.
2. He would have caused a scene and been either escorted out or arrested.

You could also have spoken to them (in the event of #2) as to how you could proceed wrt the car moving forward. The car is in your name - you could ask them how to ensure it is taken off the road.

At the end of the day, you need to take action. You CAN get divorced w/o his signature. But it's time to take action and stop wringing your hands.

 

[Evertri]

I know that I am in a different state but I used copies of my work schedule and a letter from work to prove that I couldn't have been driving a specific car at the time that a ticket was written. My daughter was driving the car and the officer just copied the information off of the registration instead of her license, so the ticket came in my name.

And that something worse may have gotten him arrested and give you good cause to get a restraining order.

Well, one of two things would happen.

1. He would not want to cause a scene and signed the necessary paperwork.
2. He would have caused a scene and been either escorted out or arrested.

You could also have spoken to them (in the event of #2) as to how you could proceed wrt the car moving forward. The car is in your name - you could ask them how to ensure it is taken off the road.

At the end of the day, you need to take action. You CAN get divorced w/o his signature. But it's time to take action and stop wringing your hands.

At this point in my life I'm definitely not "ringing my hands" I have been in contact recently with the Illinois legal aid office (thank you to PayrollHRGuy) since I was given the website on this forum. Legal Aid contacted me back today and explained to me how I would qualify to have fees waived and they also explain the process I would need to go through to still have the divorce done rather he agreed to sign or not.

This entire process is new to me I've never gotten a divorce before so when he told me he would not sign I genuinely thought it would be a huge problem. I apologize if I gave anyone in this forum the impression that I was "ringing my hands", making accuses, or giving up. The decision to began the process of putting an end to an abusive 15-year marriage is taking strength that I no longer thought I possesed. For those that have been in an abusive marriage or relationship surely can understand that there is a genuine fear in behind the thought of leaving and a genuine worry of what the consequences may be.

When he popped up at my job fussing about the admissions test I will admit I was scared, but stronger than I have ever been for many years and for once I spoke up for myself and said "NO".
In that moment I wasn't thinking about trying to cleverly trap him and get him to the DMV to force him to sign the title or get him to the DMV so that he could get locked up. In that moment, I just wanted to be strong I wanted to say no for once in my life, I wanted him to feel like he could not control that moment and that scenario. Yes maybe it was a stupid idea to a few of the individuals in this forum for me to say no and I honestly I respect and appreciate all of the replies and questions.
However, after years of saying yes to this man and allowing him to treat me any kind of way, for that one brief moment I felt empowered and for that I don't regret my decision to say no in that moment.

I am still going to try my hand at contesting the red light tickets and I will still bring my work schedule with me in the hopes that perhaps maybe by some lucky chance the judge will be kind. I am still definitely going to take the steps to proceed with filing for divorce with the help of Illinois legal aid and thank you again to PayrollHRGuy for providing the link. It took me 15 years to finally do this I'm not turning back I'm done. As far as the car is concerned, I honestly just don't know what to do, but I am hoping that when I go to contest the red light ticket then maybe I could speak to someone about the situation there and can maybe receive some guidance or advice.

 

[LdiJ]

At this point in my life I'm definitely not "ringing my hands" I have been in contact recently with the Illinois legal aid office (thank you to PayrollHRGuy) since I was given the website on this forum. Legal Aid contacted me back today and explained to me how I would qualify to have fees waived and they also explain the process I would need to go through to still have the divorce done rather he agreed to sign or not.

This entire process is new to me I've never gotten a divorce before so when he told me he would not sign I genuinely thought it would be a huge problem. I apologize if I gave anyone in this forum the impression that I was "ringing my hands", making accuses, or giving up. The decision to began the process of putting an end to an abusive 15-year marriage is taking strength that I no longer thought I possesed. For those that have been in an abusive marriage or relationship surely can understand that there is a genuine fear in behind the thought of leaving and a genuine worry of what the consequences may be.

When he popped up at my job fussing about the admissions test I will admit I was scared, but stronger than I have ever been for many years and for once I spoke up for myself and said "NO".
In that moment I wasn't thinking about trying to cleverly trap him and get him to the DMV to force him to sign the title or get him to the DMV so that he could get locked up. In that moment, I just wanted to be strong I wanted to say no for once in my life, I wanted him to feel like he could not control that moment and that scenario. Yes maybe it was a stupid idea to a few of the individuals in this forum for me to say no and I honestly I respect and appreciate all of the replies and questions.
However, after years of saying yes to this man and allowing him to treat me any kind of way, for that one brief moment I felt empowered and for that I don't regret my decision to say no in that moment.

I am still going to try my hand at contesting the red light tickets and I will still bring my work schedule with me in the hopes that perhaps maybe by some lucky chance the judge will be kind. I am still definitely going to take the steps to proceed with filing for divorce with the help of Illinois legal aid and thank you again to PayrollHRGuy for providing the link. It took me 15 years to finally do this I'm not turning back I'm done. As far as the car is concerned, I honestly just don't know what to do, but I am hoping that when I go to contest the red light ticket then maybe I could speak to someone about the situation there and can maybe receive some guidance or advice.

Good luck to you, I hope it all works out. Please feel free to use as a sounding board and do let us know how things go.

 

[Evertri]

Good luck to you, I hope it all works out. Please feel free to use as a sounding board and do let us know how things go.

I most certainly will and thank you to everybody who have chimed in to try to help me with this most unfortunate situation.

 

[stealth2]

Definitely wishing you the best of luck. I hope I didn't offend.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

You are more than welcome. I'm certainly glad you stood up for yourself. And I'm tickled to death that legal aid office was able to help in a timely fashion.